maybe one explanation for autistic people being gaslighted by neurotypicals

Wow, I was just reading over the three articles linked and it is really interesting. 
I have a specific example in my mind of my memory of an event (playing at another girls house as a kid) and her memory of it years later was wildly different and I never understood how she could get it so mixed up till now. 

I remember having a grand time, making a radio show (I remember all the words to a song we made up still 30+ years later), remember being afraid of her labradour dog(her being afraid of scotty dogs), remember the pudding (it was angel delight and it stuck in my mind as I noticed it was served in silver bowls but the dad got a peach yogurt instead and i realised I must have his bowl), getting to see in her dad's taxidermy studio, and the mum saying how nice and well behaved I was as she had a cousin over the week before who was a nightmare, loud wild etc.

The girl years later when she wasn't a friend (so in the generic bullying crowd of everyone else) said I was awful and wild and wasn't allowed back. This could not have been me being quiet and polite.

Now I can see the WHY of her having swapped memores, as she couldn't allow a memory of having a nice time with me to exist, so had alter it so I was a bad person to be around which fitted with the general view of me. I just thought she was daft, but now I can see why she was adament in telling others this distorted perpective. 


But I can also see how my memory is filled with the details of how my mind works.

I would be interested in hearing what her version of this memory was as it is such a vivid picture…. What was her perspective?

Oh I detailed it in the post, she was telling everyone I had come to her house once and was wild and unruly (or words to that description). I didn't say anything at the time -you learn from being bullied just to keep your eyes down and say nothing, they normally leave you alone after they've had their fun. Trying to offer my version would have just prolonged it, but I was always curious as to why her memory was so poor as I knew mine was good, it being a rare event for me. That and remembering those words being used for someone else, so I could see her mix up even if she couldn't. 

Interestingly I was just listening to a podcast, 'What's up doc', by Chris and Xand van Tulleken, and they had an episode on False Memory. The expert they had on at one point said 'reality is a hypothetical construct' and she was 'happy with my version of events'. I would recommend it to anyone about how disappointingly mailable memory is. 

Another choice quote ' imagine how overwhelmed you'd be if you remember every single detail of your life'.  Sounds familiar?

hehe - I've been tracking instances of that in recent communication on this website and about myself and others for years!

Those in glass houses should not ... stand up too quickly? It's a new take on the old adage! 

'reality is a hypothetical construct' 

hehe

I am reminded of the story of a teacher in a monastery who when asked to impart enlightenment would hit the inquirer over the head with a stick. 

By all accounts they found more subtle means as time elapsed :-)

was reminded of that story one day:  I was building a greenhouse when I stood up from crouching and put the top of my head thro' a pane of glass that I had placed in the roof!

'reality is a hypothetical construct' 

hehe

I am reminded of the story of a teacher in a monastery who when asked to impart enlightenment would hit the inquirer over the head with a stick. 

By all accounts they found more subtle means as time elapsed :-)

was reminded of that story one day:  I was building a greenhouse when I stood up from crouching and put the top of my head thro' a pane of glass that I had placed in the roof!

hehe - I've been tracking instances of that in recent communication on this website and about myself and others for years!

Those in glass houses should not ... stand up too quickly? It's a new take on the old adage!