Therapy failing

When you say voices do you mean your own voice or voices that you're hearing? As I think they are very different things.

Certain types of therapy don't work well with autism. When you've had private therapy has it just been talking or have they tried a range of therapies with you?

I've had issues with therapy myself. I've only been through the NHS and it's always been short term which doesn't work for me at all. The therapist I've just had is in the process of writing my discharge letter in which she is going to suggest to the NHS what I need in terms of long term therapy and see what they come up with. I'm not overly optimistic unfortunately.

Ahh I’m sorry to hear about this, I can understand why you aren’t optimistic, I’ll be honest I’ve always been let down by the nhs. 

I have tried CBT, EMDR, hypnotherapy and even DBT. Admittedly I dropped out of DBT due to it being too expensive but other therapists have just dropped me saying they can’t help me anymore. I’ve even tried just talking therapy and again dropped like that. 

As with voices it can be my own at times but more often or not it is these horrible people I’ve encountered, it’s bad enough they say it once but they kept repeating themselves and you could say it’s like all these horrible things have been planted in my head and have grown and I’d need like a weed killer but it’s finding the right one. Or like I’ve had these things tattooed in my head and despite laser therapy the things aren’t completely gone. Weird analogies I come up with but it’s how I can best describe it. 

You are not untreatable, in my time as a counsellor I helped people who suffer as you do with intrusive memories and thoughts, I've had lots of them myself and sometimes still do. Try to find someone who's familiar with empty chair exercises, I would of thought most counsellors and therapists would be, but maybe I'm wrong?

With an empty chair exercise, you place an object or a photo or something in an empty chair, the counsellor will guide you through telling that memory person how what they said and did to you was wrong, it will all be your words and memories, but instead of staying with your hurt child self you will be speaking to them as an adult, standing up for your younger self. It all sounds a bit strange, but believe me it works and is very powerful. 

You could try writing a letter to one of the people contaminating your head and tell them exactly what they've done to you, what sort of person are they for saying these things to a young and impressionable person. Then burn it, let the flames take the hurt and anger.

Completely agree with you there. I think the thing is I pay for therapy but then once they’ve got enough they just drop you like that! People seem to think I just choose to be like this when I don’t. I just want to enjoy and live my life but I get told if that’s the case why did I not “defend myself” or “it’s my fault I never made any friends” when I tried but no one wanted me. And I didn’t choose to get bullied and harassed etc but no one seems to understand that. I try and do what I normally like to make me feel better but then I get told it’s wrong and that and well I’ve ended up seeing disturbing things so now I don’t feel I can enjoy anything. Long story 

Completely agree with you there. I think the thing is I pay for therapy but then once they’ve got enough they just drop you like that! People seem to think I just choose to be like this when I don’t. I just want to enjoy and live my life but I get told if that’s the case why did I not “defend myself” or “it’s my fault I never made any friends” when I tried but no one wanted me. And I didn’t choose to get bullied and harassed etc but no one seems to understand that. I try and do what I normally like to make me feel better but then I get told it’s wrong and that and well I’ve ended up seeing disturbing things so now I don’t feel I can enjoy anything. Long story