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Concern for partner about their job, overworked, autistic, bullied too.

Unknown1043

Hey all,

Just wanted to post here as I'm frustrated on behalf of my partner.

They have been in a job for just over a year, admin. Health service. Up until the beginning of this year, they had enjoyed the job, but suddenly their manager had turned against them due to them raising some concerns and them feeling their autism was not cared about. The manager has since then totally kept them out of the loop and they reckon the manager has been talking about them behind their back. Not to mention a colleague who is intolerant of their religion.

They have found they have been completely overworked, doing work of others when they shouldn't have. Members of staff have left and they have never been replaced, so the work is spread incredibly thin. One of the team is potentially moving department, which would make things even worse. Partner is completely burnt out and coming home panicky and stressed. It is really affecting their mental health, and obviously they are autistic, so I am really worried for them physically and mentally, more so mentally.

They are really considering leaving the job if things don't improve, in order to take a little break, and then look for another position.

It is really horrible that work places are like this.

UNITED KINGDOM

  • I'm guessing.. NHS? That organisation supposedly full of saintly, selfless, caring, wonderful human beings, who think they can completely ignore employment law because... aww, it's for the good of the patients!

    I've heard it all.

    There is no way around it, there's no union with teeth, no-one coming to the rescue, and HR is there simply for damage limitation, and will do anything to discredit your concerns - your boss is God and can ruin your career just from being pissed off from burning their toast on a given morning. Power, power, power. 

    To get around that you need to be as hard as nails, prepared to go to tribunal if necessary (because that's what it will take), take advice from a lawyer, - the first appointment might be free or inexpensive.

    And that's for neurotypicals.

    Find a new job before ending the existing one. In the meantime work as slowly as you are comfortable with.  Read up on the rules. Usually, they have to give time off for attending interviews. 

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I'm so sorry to hear of your partner's struggles.

    You and/or they might find some of the advice in the NAS's Employment section helpful. The resources there include, for example:

    NAS - What can I do if I’m having trouble at work?

    In respect of their mental health, their GP may be able to offer some support.

    Some of these resources might also be of some help:

    NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

    NAS - Mental health and wellbeing

    There's also some great (free) advice here from Dr Megan Neff - a neurodivergent author (who's also a clinician and advocate):

    Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

    I've also just bought this new book of hers. It covers the subject in much greater detail, whilst remaining very user-friendly (including lots of diagrams and worksheets, for example):

    The Autistic Burnout Workbook: Your Guide to Your Personal Recovery Plan

  • in reply to Mr T

    Yes they have disclosed autism to the workplace.  The management have apparently partook in diversity/neurodiversity training, but it doesn't seem like it means anything to them and they turn a blind eye to what they need.

    The way they are thinking is, that if it keeps up like this, they'll leave the job in the next few months. Have a bit of a break to figure out what they want to do, and start applying for other stuff. 

    I just want them to have their mental health/autism in a good place, then figure it out.  

  • I'm sorry to say the health service is not a very caring organisation towards staff. Tell you partner to make notes of everything that happens no matter how trivial. You never know if you will need evidence for a tribunal.

    Have they asked for reasonable adjustments at work?

    Get them to make an appointment with occupational health. Have they disclosed to their employer?

  • in reply to Unknown1043

    That’s good thinking. That’s awesome that you are both prioritizing their mental health!

  • Hi there, 

    Yeah it's a horrible situation, but I'm glad you were able to figure it out!  

    The way they are thinking is, that if it keeps up like this, they'll leave the job in the next few months.  Have a bit of a break to figure out what they want to do, and start applying for other stuff.  

    I just want them to have their mental health/autism in a good place, then figure it out.  

  • Hello Unknown,

    Yeah that’s an unfortunate situation. If it were me - and this is totally personal opinion - I would start looking for related jobs in other companies. Or your partner could possibly go above his manager and ask their boss for advice/help.

    I had a job in IT for a while that totally burned me out. My bosses kept putting more and more work on me that could have been delegated to others, I was stuck with managing student workers that didn’t want to be there, and the office environment was HORRID for someone with ASD/ADHD like me (florescent lights, high traffic area, loud office, etc). All that and I was being paid at least $5-7 an hour less than I should have been (sorry, I’m in the States).

    How my wife and I ended up resolving it was that I replaced that full-time job with a couple part-time jobs. I got more hours teaching at the university the IT department was and I grabbed some night shift hours at a local supermarket. Overall the burnout subsided after a little while because the pressure wasn’t as intense at the other two jobs.

    So yeah, my advice is to start the process of looking for other positions. If things somehow get better, you can always stop the job search. I wish you both the best!