Interview Anxieties

I know you don't want to mask, but if you really want the job, that might be what you need to do.  I have been masking all my life and to get jobs I learnt to do it flawlessly.  You can always tell them about your ASD once you have signed the contract.  First get the job.

My niece is also on the spectrum.  She has been turned down a number of times for jobs she actually wanted and each time it hits her super hard.  She asked me what I would do and I told her I would be an NT for the day and get the job.  It's not a perfect method, but neither is the world.  Sometimes we have to be a chameleon to succeed. 

I had around 200 job interviews over two years when I was younger after being told to be myself and that was 200 no's.  At some point I became the other person who survived school and college and I immediately got a job.  Ever since then I am always NT at job interviews and I haven't had an interview for a job I didn't get.  Of course if you can't sell normalcy, don't go down this route.  My niece is not successful at that level of masking.  She's from a different generation to those of us who survived the 70-80s, when ASD was not accepted, so she never learnt the perfect camoflage skillls that allowed you to avoid daily playground beatings.

Also don't be afraid to play the disability card.  It's a crappy way of doing it in some regards, but the act is yours to use.

Hi Princess, 

I am sorry to hear that your interview didn't go well. I understand that you feel your anxiety got the better off you. It is a great achievement to have got an interview. Good luck with future applications. 

We have information and advice on applying for a job, tips for interacting and coping at work, advice on dealing with bullying in the workplace and what the law says about your rights at work: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/employment 

You can also find our free online ‘Finding Employment’ module on our website: https://www.autismonlinetraining.com/ 

This module is designed to help autistic job seekers entering the job market understand their strengths and what next steps they could take towards gaining meaningful employment or work. 

Evenbreak matches disabled job seekers with employers to build a diverse workforce. You can visit the Evenbreak website for listed job vacancies: https://www.evenbreak.co.uk/ 

The British Association of Supported Employment has a database of supported employment agencies, so you can search for one in your local area: https://www.base-uk.org/home 

Maximus offer a range of employability programmes throughout the UK, including, programmes for disabled people who are struggling to find work: https://www.maximusuk.co.uk/ 

The National Autistic Society employment and volunteering opportunities are updated frequently. We particularly welcome applications from autistic people. 

I hope this is helpful.

Kind Regards,

Rosie Mod

Do bear in mind that interviewers do have a very difficult job. Sometimes they get so many applications it is a lottery as to finally gets the interview yet alone a. job offer. In feedback from one interview the manager said he got 600 applications and after throwing out everyone who didn’t have the specified qualifications, they got it down to 100 and then had to choose just half a dozen to interview. 

Been there. Worn the T shirt, Got the medal. 

In fact I probably have the record for the greatest number of failed interviews ever. I fluffed two or more interviews a month for over two years. to be fair it was thirty years ago when I didn’t understand my autism and people were totally unaware of Autism. 

All I can suggest is don’t beat yourself up. Interviews are hugely high stress situations. In a moment your life can change completely to a different direction. They really ought to be outlawed as cruel and degrading treatment.  

I’m really sorry your interview didn’t go well for you. We’ve all been there, trust me on that! But try not to get too disheartened, there’s always next time. I’m sorry your anxiety kicked in but truthfully that might have had nothing to do with why you didn’t get the job. Letting you know the same day suggests they had seen other people as well, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Remember that there will be other opportunities. Plenty of other jobs out there and you can use your experiences from this interview just gone for the next one. Keep smiling.

I know it's not going to feel good right now and I'm sorry it wasn't a good experience. Try to remember though that that was your first ever interview. Just turning up is an achievement when anxiety is involved. I messed up my first few job interviews completely because I was too nervous and didn't really know what was expected of me. With time I got more used to them and got better at them and now I'm told I interview quite well. They are still tough and I still get very anxious but I can do it now. Give yourself time to recover but don't let it put you off trying again. Also remember that you can ask for reasonable adjustments to make it easier for you. 

Sorry to hear that, but that doesn’t make you any less great or well-suited for the job. Try again, fail again, fail better. 
The good thing is that you now have a “worst-case-scenario” to hold onto. It might sound contradictory, but I found that this helps me with stopping the spiralling before similar events.

Additionally, even if you can’t take anything from it, you can still be proud of yourself for doing it. You did something that scared you and that’s nothing short from amazing.

Perhaps another day - don;t be too hard on yourself, you often never know really why you were turned down, it's not always down to you

Also - the interviews only go as good as the interviewer.

So what I'm saying, is move on (I know easier to  say than do sometimes ,I do often ruminate over past work and social meetings) and hope you feel better soon

I'm sorry. Did you learn anything that may help in the future?

What actually went wrong. Did you struggle to answer? Or just too scared of making a mistake?

Aw man, so sorry to hear that Princess. Don’t give up though; Not every interview will be a disaster. It took me a few tries to get the hang of keeping cool in an interview.

Hello,

Some of you said to let you know how it went today. The interview was a disaster, my anxiety got the better of me and I really blew it. I was told I would find out by the end of today if I was successful and I found out just after lunch.

Feeling very down right now.

Thanks for helping me I appreciate it.

Hello. Thank you, this is very helpful and has given me food for thought on something I hadn't considered myself. Asking the interviewer questions. I didn't even think of that but you're right it's definitely something I should do. Had you not written this and they ask me that tomorrow I would have said no. So thank you, you have given me a lot here. I was thinking the #1 question as well. Thank you for adding all five though, it gives me a lot to think about and work with.

Thanks so much!!!

I love that several people have already mentioned to take your time in answering. That’s the most important advice. Whenever a question comes up that I am not ready for I usually say something to the effect of: “That’s a great question. Let me think about that.” to buy a few moments to collect myself.

One thing you can do to prepare is figure out what questions YOU have for the interviewers. Interviewers are always impressed when someone comes in with questions about the company. Usually they ask at the end of the session if you have any questions for them, and your answer should be YES.

Here’s some examples of questions you could ask them:
1. What do you like about this company?
2. How many employees currently have similar positions to the one I am interviewing for?
3. Are there opportunities to advance positions or grow in this business?
4. What does training for this position look like?
5. Does this company have good retention of employees?

Don’t ask all of these questions lol. Just have one prepared. And if you take one of my examples I’d recommend #1.

I hope it goes well, wishing you the very best!

Thank you guys for all your replies and advice. I am calmer now and the brain fog and anxiety have eased up on me a bit. I wish I didn't get so worked up about these things but that's just the way I am. I'll try not to over think for the rest of today and keep myself busy, maybe here, or I'll put on a film or something.

Thank you for being there for me. It means a lot to me.

Interviews always seem frightening but actually they aren’t as bad as you think they’ll be. And most interviewers are nice and understanding.

I think it’s a good idea to be yourself, you don’t want to be masking your whole life and if you are up front and honest about being anxious they will do their best to put you at ease. I don’t know if you have told them you’re autistic but mentioning your nervous will most likely be a weight lifted for you.

When asked a question take your time when you reply, it’s not a race and it will give you more time. If you start to feel unwell, tell them, they will give you all the time you need.

Interviewers expect this and more. You won’t be the first or last nervous person they interview.

And if you feel doubtful look at it this way, you have got to an interview, so they already see something in you that they like and want to explore further. That’s already a good start!

Good luck for tomorrow! Please let us know how you get on.

A certain level nerves is good, everyone has them. Candidates that are not nervous look too confident.

The interviewer wants to know about you. They want you to talk and to give you a chance, so they can see if you are a good fit. It is also using up their time too. It is a 2 way process as you also need to get on with them and want to work there.

You can guess most of the things that will come up. They will ask a bit about items on your cv, there will some related to the skills needed for the job, which you can guess from the advert.

They may ask if you have any hobbies. You only need to give 1 or 2. If you say you like reading then you need to be able to name a book you have read. Don't worry if you do something unusual, it makes you seem more interesting and a real person.

The main thing is to remember to breathe, it is fine to pause for a second or two before answering, if you are not clear on a question just say so and they will rephrase it, if you don't know just say so. 

My first interview I was so nervous I kept breathing in until I couldn 't speak. You need to breathe out sometimes.