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Interview Anxieties

Princess

Hello.

I'm feeling very anxious over my interview which is tomorrow. It's going to be my first job interview and I'm going crazy thinking about it. I've done a bit of research on how to stay calm and not over think it but that hasn't really worked for me yet, it never does. When I get anxious it's like being a passenger on board an out of control plane doing a nose dive. I've written out some questions that I might be asked during the interview and wrote down what my replies would be.

But then I thought what if these questions aren't even asked, and even if they were, my memory isn't good enough to remember what I answered here and now and I doubt I'll be as confident in person.

That's the problem with me I over think and over analyse everything and I don't know how to stop it. My sister has been kind enough to tell me of her own experience with job interviews and that's helped a bit but she is charming and funny and I am shy and quiet. I have no confidence and I suck at talking to people, I always have since I was able to talk.

What I want most is to come across as me in the interview, honest is the best policy, but not too much me that I'm weird or at worst have a meltdown or go into shutdown. If that happens then I can guarantee the interview will be over and I definitely won't get the job. I don't want to mask and come across as somebody I'm not. I can't mask for the rest of my life every time I go to work. I did this at school, it helped me get through the majority of my schooling life but the negative effects it had on my mental health have hit me hard since school and I'm still trying to deal with that now.

I want so badly for this interview to go well but I have a horrible feeling it's going to go badly.

Parents

  • I know you don't want to mask, but if you really want the job, that might be what you need to do.  I have been masking all my life and to get jobs I learnt to do it flawlessly.  You can always tell them about your ASD once you have signed the contract.  First get the job.

    My niece is also on the spectrum.  She has been turned down a number of times for jobs she actually wanted and each time it hits her super hard.  She asked me what I would do and I told her I would be an NT for the day and get the job.  It's not a perfect method, but neither is the world.  Sometimes we have to be a chameleon to succeed. 

    I had around 200 job interviews over two years when I was younger after being told to be myself and that was 200 no's.  At some point I became the other person who survived school and college and I immediately got a job.  Ever since then I am always NT at job interviews and I haven't had an interview for a job I didn't get.  Of course if you can't sell normalcy, don't go down this route.  My niece is not successful at that level of masking.  She's from a different generation to those of us who survived the 70-80s, when ASD was not accepted, so she never learnt the perfect camoflage skillls that allowed you to avoid daily playground beatings.

    Also don't be afraid to play the disability card.  It's a crappy way of doing it in some regards, but the act is yours to use.

Reply

  • I know you don't want to mask, but if you really want the job, that might be what you need to do.  I have been masking all my life and to get jobs I learnt to do it flawlessly.  You can always tell them about your ASD once you have signed the contract.  First get the job.

    My niece is also on the spectrum.  She has been turned down a number of times for jobs she actually wanted and each time it hits her super hard.  She asked me what I would do and I told her I would be an NT for the day and get the job.  It's not a perfect method, but neither is the world.  Sometimes we have to be a chameleon to succeed. 

    I had around 200 job interviews over two years when I was younger after being told to be myself and that was 200 no's.  At some point I became the other person who survived school and college and I immediately got a job.  Ever since then I am always NT at job interviews and I haven't had an interview for a job I didn't get.  Of course if you can't sell normalcy, don't go down this route.  My niece is not successful at that level of masking.  She's from a different generation to those of us who survived the 70-80s, when ASD was not accepted, so she never learnt the perfect camoflage skillls that allowed you to avoid daily playground beatings.

    Also don't be afraid to play the disability card.  It's a crappy way of doing it in some regards, but the act is yours to use.

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