Feeling something but don’t know what it is and why I’m close to start crying

Have you painted this? It’s really good! 
I’m sorry you’re struggling at the moment. I imagine there’s not a single person in this community that doesn’t relate. I often feel completely exhausted by life - as do the other autistic people in my family. One thing I try to practice now is acceptance. We feel what we feel, and if we fight it or run away from it we usually end up feeling worse and that’s just more exhausting. So try to just allow the feeling to be there - and take reassurance from the fact that everything in life is impermanent - both the good things and the bad things. So however you’re feeling now it will change, practice self care, try to cultivate what joy you can by focusing on even the smallest pleasures in your life - such as drinking a hot chocolate, or making a toasted sandwich, or sitting in the sunshine. I find listening to music particularly helpful when my mood is low. I also find getting into a good series on tv streaming good too - because I get into the story and ‘forget myself’. Being autistic isn’t easy, and we need to build up a little ‘library’ of strategies to turn to when we’re struggling. For me going out for a walk really helps, 

Thank you for sharing how you feel - it helps us all on here to know that we’re not alone. 

I often feel exhausted for no obvious reason and sleep and rest does not help me. Watching anything on tv is exhausting and I can’t watch long because of sensory issues. Binge eating sweets is also not good - I already gained some weight and it makes no difference in my mood or feeling. Doing my hobby is also exhausting and I feel something like trapped in this body and looking ways to free myself. 

I see - I can understand that. It’s very unsettling when the things we often find comfort from stop helping. I find your phrase ‘looking for ways to free myself’ very interesting. I’ve often felt like this. I was watching something the other day and it said “ask yourself what is stopping you from feeling free” - and try to establish what’s driving the way you are feeling. I sometimes find it helpful to get a notebook and write things down - sometimes you can learn a lot by trying to put feelings into words like that. It can help to clarify what the underlying problems are that are making you feel this way.How are you with getting in the outdoors - is that helpful at all? Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed and I went to a local National Trust property with huge grounds and woodland and I just spent a few hours walking about, sitting on benches, reading and just people watching. Getting out the house and into nature really helped me yesterday. Sometimes a change of scenery can help, or just re arranging things in your house or room - even if it’s just clearing out one draw. I’m not sleeping well either at the moment - and that always makes things a bit harder. 
Do you think there might be physical health issues behind your tiredness? You could be deficient in iron or b12 for example? You could always get a blood test from your gp to check that maybe? 

I see - I can understand that. It’s very unsettling when the things we often find comfort from stop helping. I find your phrase ‘looking for ways to free myself’ very interesting. I’ve often felt like this. I was watching something the other day and it said “ask yourself what is stopping you from feeling free” - and try to establish what’s driving the way you are feeling. I sometimes find it helpful to get a notebook and write things down - sometimes you can learn a lot by trying to put feelings into words like that. It can help to clarify what the underlying problems are that are making you feel this way.How are you with getting in the outdoors - is that helpful at all? Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed and I went to a local National Trust property with huge grounds and woodland and I just spent a few hours walking about, sitting on benches, reading and just people watching. Getting out the house and into nature really helped me yesterday. Sometimes a change of scenery can help, or just re arranging things in your house or room - even if it’s just clearing out one draw. I’m not sleeping well either at the moment - and that always makes things a bit harder. 
Do you think there might be physical health issues behind your tiredness? You could be deficient in iron or b12 for example? You could always get a blood test from your gp to check that maybe?