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Suicidal.

Zeb

Hi,

I'm a 27 year old male recently diagnosed with autism, which has made a lot of sense of the great difficulties I have faced - my sensitivity both with senses and emotions, and my tendency to be obsessive.

I've struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and depression for many years now and feel my best days are far behind me.  I'm very isolated, and it's hard to break out due to my fear of going to new places and meeting new people.

I feel that I don't belong in this world, and I have been battling deep emotional pain that I can't cope with, and I have been feeling suicidal for a long time.  I am getting to the point now where I have made plans, but it's not at all easy to face dying.  It's a catch 22 between facing the pains of life and the terror of death.

I feel very little hope and battle every day through these feelings of pointlessness and dread, and I don't know how much longer I can go on for.

I've been through the mental health services and my only hope is to pursue support from autism services, to see if with any assistance, I can feel that life is worth living again.  Maybe if I could find some kind of community and build more routine and belonging into my life, there might be hope.  It's so hard to meet new people and make friends.

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  • in reply to Chloe Mod

    Hi Chloe thank you for the information... I am already quite deep into the system and beyond GPs - I am a patient with a mental health service and have an allocated psychiatrist.

    I feel very pessimistic about their ability to help, as I've been through dozens of medications now. I also fear not being taken seriously, and that if I keep calling them about my suicidal feelings, they'll think I'm just "crying for attention" and dismiss me as a nuisance.   GPs have been dismissive to me in the past which has been off putting.

    It seems the next step is seeking support from autism services, if they can provide any support in helping me to add more activities into my daily life, etc.

    Thanks again