Sadness

So jealous. Wish I could draw like this. I love horses but I've never been able to draw anything that is remotely in proportion.

Sounds like some good honest reflections there. 

My eldest is much better thank you but I was terrified to see him like that.
I was extremely uncomfortable last night, in fact my jaw was aching because I pretended to find things people were talking about as funny. Lots of awkward silences when I run out of words, then I get in a muddle because of self pressure to think of something to say. I didn’t belong there last night is my conclusion. I didn’t even say goodbye to anyone which is bothering me now but I did tell my family. Going over it I think I need to set my limit and stick to it before it gets messy. I don’t really drink alcohol either which makes me stand out to others which I dislike. 

Anyway that’s hopefully the end of socialising for a while, like I say I’m still learning to be better to myself. 

Gosh! I hear you. I hope everyone’s feeling better after sleeping it off. 
Has going over the events helped you to process? 

A party yesterday which I had been thinking about for months (as we do). We were supposed to be there for 3 hours but everyone went back to the house afterwards. Alcohol, noise and me wandering around like a spare part with no escape lead to me getting a taxi home and leaving my family to it. Unfortunately my eldest decided to drink too much so he was terribly sick. Not only did I have to keep a close eye on him throughout the night, my partner was in bed in a state herself and my other son who’s is autistic was having a meltdown because he didn’t want to leave the party. It was chaos needless to say I have spent the day today feeling low and going over the evenings events.

Sorry but you did ask :)

Do you mind if I ask what’s contributed to your tough weekend?

You’re very welcome. That’s why we are all here! 

Thank you. It has helped so much being able to be honest here & actually have people reply in a caring way. It’s a first for me. 

Glad you felt able to share your thoughts on here with us. I have had a tough weekend as well so you’re not alone. 

Just thought you might like to know people on here listen and I personally will spare you a thought.

Look after yourself 

You're welcome

TismTisnt said:

Glad to hear you’re having a better day…love your drawings

Thank you x.

Gosh, thank you x

Glad to hear you’re having a better day…love your drawings  

I'm so sorry to hear you've been going through such a difficult time this weekend. Having autism can be so isolating, I completely relate with being withdrawn, I spend most of my time withdrawn from the rest of the world, even though I DO want to interact with others.

It’s overwhelming and it’s understandable that it makes you feel so alone and emotional. I think every one here can relate to feeling like this at times.

I’m so glad you felt able to talk about it here. We’re all in the same boat really, and it’s a big relief for me personally knowing this community is here. I feel like I have so many friends here, people who care, and I hope I can be a friend to people here when they need that shoulder to cry on.

Take care of yourself, talk when you need to, there will always be help and support here I think. We autistics have to look out for each other. X

Thank you x.

Funny 5 mins yesterday, not proud of how emotional I got but today has been so much better. Sometimes those thunder clouds sweep down and you're lost in the storm.

But it didn't last long, thankfully. Much better now, happy today

Thank you everyone, for your kindness, care and support.

I’m sorry about yesterday, sometimes I get emotional. Ironic considering most of the time I’m never emotional, sometimes I wonder if I’m a robot, and I just forgot I was a robot. Probably not but at times it feels like it yesterday I just got carried away by the sadness, let negative thoughts in and that was that.

Today has been so much better. Thank you all for your support yesterday, it helped carry me through a dark day. X.

Number Excellent suggestions! Thank you! Drawing is exactly what I did

Despite my emotions were all over the place, the end results weren't as bad as I was expecting!

Hi Berrybunny,

Thank you for posting to the community. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing sadness. You are not alone with feeling overwhelmed by sadness sometimes.  

You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health

The following information may be of particular interest: 

Autistic fatigue and burnout https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue

Depression https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/depression

If you feel that you might need some support with your mental health, you can find advice and information on how to go about seeking help, including links to other resources and details of helplines and listening support services, here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/seeking-help

Kind regards,

Gina Mod

It's something I struggle with and often there seems to have any real trigger. I can be sitting having lunch at work and then boom, the floor drops out and it's incredibly difficult to pull it back. I struggle with my mood, I really don't do "happy", I'm told that I have alexithymia so certain aspects of my emotions are a mystery.I've spoken to a psychologist and they think in could be some form of overstimulation.

Positive emotional reaction in others causes me to cry, there's no catharsis and no real feelings attached to it either. It one of the aspects of my condition makes me feel broken.

Anger or frustration towards the ills of this world is my common reaction. I do find the emotions of others can also be overwhelming.

I’ve been watching documentaries about mental illness & assisted suicide which has actually helped me to cry and have self acceptance. 

I’ve had the worst time mentally, this weekend. This is definitely a significantly extreme moment in my life. I’m a bit shocked at the desperate, hopeless state I’ve found myself in. I think what has contributed is lack of connection & relationships. The therapist said I have an insecure attachment style. I just cut people off, although I feel I have justifiable reasons. It still causes harm. Because of this something in me has changed. I feel very reluctant to have relationships/friendships because I can’t sustain them. I get so very overwhelmed by all social interactions. It’s afterwards I go over what has been said & what all of the micro expressions meant. If everything is ok. It causes me such mental torture…I seem to have decided the less I interact the better but I’m so lonely. This has left me feeling very sad and alone. I have cancelled everything this weekend and just sat with these feelings and cried a lot. I can’t currently think of anyone I would share these thoughts and feelings with. I know from experience that from this state of desperation can come contemplation and then positive change can happen. It is even more shocking to experience such extreme feelings & thoughts when externally nothing is “wrong”. There’s is so much I have & am to be grateful for. 

I struggle to understand and regulate my emotions. Sometimes they can be a big jumble of confusion. But I feel sad often. My mum passed away six months ago and even though it’s buried down enough that I can function most of the time, the melancholy is always lingering just below the surface - almost like gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Sometimes it gets above the surface and sadness hits.

When I feel this sadness I try to make myself go for a little walk. Exercise is good. It really increases dopamine and regulates your hormones. So when you walk, you quickly feel better whether you are feeling sad or anxious or both. If I can’t get out for a walk I do the things I know make me happy. Writing, watching a totally hilarious film, doing a relaxing jigsaw puzzle, reading a great fiction book I can escape in to...

Distraction techniques are good. And if you feel you DO need to cry, then cry, you will feel better afterwards I promise.

I hope you feel brighter today Berrybunny.

Best wishes, Verity x.

Berrybunny said:

What do you do when you get completely washed over by sadness?

Answers (for me are) = either;

1.  Do something/anything that I know I can excel at....the feeling of 'achievement' that can come from that often mitigates sad feelings.  In your case Berrybunny, I would recommend that you simply pick up a pencil and start drawing!

2.  Do something/anything that involves "forward motion" ie walking, running, cycling, bus or train journey etc.   I'm not sure why this works for me, but I know it does.