Obsession

Thank you I will try. Problem is also obsessive thinking about it, not only doing the activity. I’m not celebrating Christmas anyway and I’m unable to plan any family holidays. The maximum I can do is to book tickets. Planning a family holiday is too complex for me, too many things I have to think of and decide. I can only support if someone else makes the plan. I have never even planned holiday for myself alone. 

Noone said:

It’s torturing my brain and unfortunately I can’t make myself busy with anything else because I’m constantly being called and interrupted.

As a practical short term solution, could you set yourself some limits on what you will read each day? Maybe limit yourself to one chapter of the book you are reading, 2 hours on a website etc.

This may help you focus on what you are set for that day and have less of an open ended pool of possible things to read up on.

Maybe creating a list of subjects to cover and check them off as you go through them will help your brain realise that you are making progress, your objectives are being achieved and your plan to pause once the daily limit is reached is one that works.

Just a thought.

Thank you, I will tell him how I went through this but I don’t wanna change this therapist. He said he knows many autistic people. So I think he knows how to deal. Maybe he is curious if I happily tell him that after reading an article I know I am/ am not autistic or dive deeper into the topic. It’s torturing my brain and unfortunately I can’t make myself busy with anything else because I’m constantly being called and interrupted. I have a lot of doubts if these autistic traits are actually autism. I heard that autistic people lack empathy (cognitive empathy) but I have empathy or compassion, that leads me to run help others without thinking twice and I often get abused by this. I can’t read someone’s mood on the face well, I had many such situations, but if someone tells me a story, I create a picture of it in my head with details and although I’m not good at comforting someone I try to recreate and understand what the person may feel. I also try to find a solution for them if possible. It happens to me to cry while watching a movie although I often struggle to recognize my own emotions. These and many other things I need to discuss with the therapist. He is the only therapist who understands me, my pictures I showed him and does not gaslight me like “yeah, you just need to be more positive” “you’re exaggerating, it’s not a real problem” etc.

I’ve been over researching for the last 18 months or so to a point where I feel I need to stop as it’s become unhealthy. I started as I needed to learn as much as possible to better support my son. It has at times left me unable to contribute to normal family activities or conversation which then my partner gets upset with me. I guess when that much energy gets pumped into something we suffer in other areas. Could perhaps going back to something you used to enjoy distract you from it? 
I remember you sharing your set plans and characters you used to create, could you perhaps do something similar and post it on here?

I do hope you can find a break 

Oh, I see. I was just reacting the way I would in that situation. Hopefully the therapist will be able to help then

Pixiefox said:

I'm still left wondering why - he is the therapist, he's there to help you, not test you on your knowledge and make you study as if you have to take an examination!

I think it is to encourage AH88 to self-educate as they say:

Noone said:

my knowledge turned out to not be quite good

It is a technique some therapists use where rather than tell the patient the answer, they lead them to find it for themselves (using study is one tool in the arsenal) so the patient develops a sense of self reliance and agency.

My therapist uses this on me when I demonstrate any misconceptions or bias - she knows I will place more credence on published academic articles than on what she may quote so it improves my failings.

I suspect that the patients OCD has led this off the tracks somewhat.

Once the therapist knows what has happened then they should have some techniques to help, but there is the frustration of near universal holidays at the moment. I would consider their reaction and response carefully before considering changing therapists as I think this is just an unfortunate co-ncidence of events.

As I have said before.  Often there's no way out except for external influence. Distraction and novelty provides temporary relief. Get it where you can. Inertia and monotropism can either work for or against us.

I'm still left wondering why - he is the therapist, he's there to help you, not test you on your knowledge and make you study as if you have to take an examination!

It's the holidays and you deserve a break - he's having one and not worrying about you. I did already post some suggestions to try to help you distract your mind from this obsession. The only other thing I can think of is perhaps you could try planning a family holiday to give yourself something to distract your attention and also something to look forward to?

If things don't get better in the new year when you see this "therapist" again, perhaps you could try changing to a different one who has more empathy with Autistic people ?

He suspects me autistic, gave me a paper with it and asked me to research about it as my knowledge turned out to not be quite good. The more I research the more I get obsessed and also find myself there. I’m so tired of it I hope it will tire off itself. Now I’m like a ghost 

So sorry to hear this. I wonder why your therapist gave you this task - did they explain the reason? 

The only thing I can think of is to try to engage with something else. Maybe read a novel or watch a movie with aliens in? When I was feeling lost after I retired, I made a decision to study free online courses to occupy my mind and I set times when I would study. If you think that might help, here is the website:

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/

Hope you feel better soon

Noone said:

does anyone have any advice how to stop obsessing?

I would suggest reading the NAS article about Obsessive behaviour as it seems relevant here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/obsessions/all-audiences