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Struggling with RSD atm

StingRae133

Hi guys,

I’m not sure if it’s the time of year but I am really struggling with daily struggles atm, particularly RSD. 

I feel like the outcast of my whole family in any case but I’m not able to fake a relationship with a family member just because it’s Christmas time. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Also, I’m not sure if it’s paranoia but I feel as though everyone in my life hates me or strongly dislikes me. I can’t seem to stop overthinking and going over every conversation I’ve had and panic thinking I’ve been rude or something taken out of context and have upset someone. Does anyone have any tips on how to manage over the festive period?

Many thanks Slight smile

  • I didn't know what RSD stood for, so I looked it up and found that it stands for Rejection sensitive dysphoria - which is an extreme emotional sensitivity to perceived criticism, rejection or disapproval. I believe that most autistic /ADHD adults experience this, so you are not alone.

    I struggled for decades with constantly getting upset because I thought people were being overly critical of me, that they disapproved of things I'd said or done, had misinterpreted what I meant, or they just didn't like me for some unknown reason. When I say people, that includes family, friends and colleagues.

    I'm now in my sixties and do not have any contact with my remaining family members. I will be spending Christmas with just my partner, as I have done for years now. As you say, why try to fake a relationship with someone you don't actually have a close connection with, just because it's expected at this time of year?

    I also go over conversations and often wish I'd dealt with things differently, but I've taught myself not to berate myself over it. Everyone says things that could upset people from time to time, it's just human nature. Try to be more forgiving.

    The only tips I can give for managing the "festive" period is to think about what you want to do, and then stick to doing that. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty of you're not doing what they consider " normal ".

    If you will be on your own, do log onto this forum and post, as there will be others who are lonely and will appreciate having some interaction with like minded people.

  • in reply to Andy

    Hi Andy Wave tone2 

    Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, I really appreciate it Blush 

    I am so luckily I have such a supportive partner, I just feel bad that they are constantly reassuring me, and I never listen haha. 

    I am always worried that someone can hear what I am thinking or has a microphone/camera somewhere. I think that’s where the paranoia comes in, but it’s so draining. 

    Every time I think I have a bit of confidence or control over my life, it ends up being the opposite and I feel as though the people in my life just don’t understand, neither do they want to which is hard Pensive 

  • Hey, I totally get where you’re coming from, this time of year can be so overwhelming, especially with family dynamics and all the expectations. RSD is an absolute nightmare to deal with, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling like an outsider. 

    I think it’s brave not to fake a relationship just because it’s Christmas, your energy and boundaries matter just as much as anyone else’s. It’s more important focusing on the relationships that feel safe and letting go of the guilt for the others, even if that’s easier said than done. As for the overthinking and paranoia, I try to remind myself that most people aren’t dwelling on things the way we do (though that doesn’t always stop the spiral, I know!). And I try and tell myself that just because I have a thought, doesn’t mean it’s real.

    You’re not alone in feeling this way. Be kind to yourself, give yourself the time you need, and remind yourself that you’re doing your best!