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Exhaustion is ruining my life

T

Hi,

I'm autistic and I've got this issue with tiredness in that I am always in a near state of exhaustion! I've had burnout before and I know it's not that but it's close. If I go out I spend the next day or two in bed recovering from going out. When it first happened I thought maybe a time of the month thing but as it continued I saw my doctor and she's run tests but nothing serious has come back, so she's thinking it's stress tiring me out.

I've started yoga in the hopes of limiting any stress and the effects it causes but I'm still just as tired as I've always been. I was diagnosed not so long ago and I'm still learning so much about autism but it's confusing and I feel I'm constantly making it worse for myself by not understanding what's going on. I've read autistic people get exhaustion and fatigue and that sucks but it mostly just says about resting but that's not good because I can't do the things I enjoy and it makes me anxious of going out because I know the tiredness will hit hard after.

Feeling a bit lost with it all.

  • Is the GP also scheduling allergy tests? As we age our bodies change. I had a friend who noticed lactose made him excessively tired. Another who went off gluten and sugar and suddenly felt alive again.

  • You have to learn to plan, pace and prioritise which is actually quite difficult a lot of the time. If you are going out, build in rest time afterwards. You said you cannot do the things you enjoy. Something has to give. If you want to do the things you enjoy you might need to reduce something elsewhere to accommodate this. If you cannot do this for example because of work or other commitments,  consider adapting doing things you enjoy. I might want to do a certain activity but if its not happening to switch it out for something with less input. There's also nothing wrong with lying there staring into space. For a prolonged period. I have learned this only recently. It's difficult because often I need stimulation to rest but my brain cannot handle more of it.

  • Holland and Barrett timed release 1000ug vitamin B12 helps me with that. The effects are fairly subtle, but the increased energy is noticeable and useful to me.

  • T said:
    I've started yoga in the hopes of limiting any stress and the effects it causes but I'm still just as tired as I've always been

    My thoughts are you need to identify what is at the root of your anxiety so you can deal with this - it is likely to have the single biggest result for you.

    If you can possibly afford it I would recommend getting a psychotherapist who is very experienced with helping autistic patients as they are likely to understand your needs and have a better toolkit of solutions to offer.

    I suspect there is something worring you that is constantly using your energy, leaving you anxious and near burned out which explains the symptoms you describe.

    I wouldn't place too much onus on specific advice from randoms on the internet such as myself but get a professional and take control - sometime just doing this brings relief and you can take stock with the help of someone who knows the right questions to ask.

    Good luck

  • Sorry to read you’re going through this. 

    It does sound like a form of autistic burnout, in that your tolerance is lowered and certain things are taking all your energy away. Are you planning ahead, to ensure you have rest time on either side of the things you want to do? 

    When this happens to me, I think of the amazing Dr Megan Anna Neff who calls it ‘grieving for our limitations’; it somehow reminds me to work with my autism, and not against e.g. not get upset with myself when tired, and to do enjoyable activities at home, or in ways that don’t burn up energy. It’s not just about just resting per se, but going with your interests in a way that’s kind to you, and recognising when too much of the ‘wrong’ stimulation can be harmful  

    Checking out Dr Neff’s site may help understand aspects of your autism, and ‘adjust’ to this new understand of your autistic self, and find strategies that compliment your autistic way of being. Yoga is a great start! 

    Best wishes.