Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, I'm new here.
I'm still in the process of a formal diagnosis much later in life. I'm still trying to get to a better understanding of my new normal instead of pretending I'm "normal"
I'm a single mum, my kids are growing up and I'm 4 months into a full time customer services job after 15 years of only part time work. I scraped through the long group training weeks and team building hell and now I have to be happy and chirpy on the phone 8 hours a day to customers, group teams meeting and being fake/masking all day. Ive found it really rough.
I have recently had to also deal with some pretty serious ongoing drama. Trying to stay afloat and balance it all but I'm about 14 hours deep into panic attacks today. Already petrified for clocking on again in the morning
I guess what I'm trying to work out is if this is a burnout and it might pass with some self care and solitude or if I'm kidding myself that I'll ever survive this job..
Have any of you got past anything like this?
I haven't been on here since I posted and hadn't seen any of the replies. I'm truly so overwhelmed with the detailed and kind replies.
I have since been to the doctors and signed off for 2 weeks to try and regain some normality and prescribed beta blockers. So far it's working to help reduce the panic attacks.
Forever grateful for this new place I found in helping me feel a little less alone at a really hard time ️
NAS95929 said:I'm 4 months into a full time customer services job after 15 years of only part time work
I come from 32 years of this line of work as both 1st line, 2nd & 3rd line and management so can suggest a few things.
1 - read up on mindfulness. Learn to look at situations like you are solving a problem and decide if the situation needs your care or just your technical skills and only give the emotional investment to the stuff that really needs it.
2 - Develop scripts for speaking to people so you can fake being interested while getting the job done and just switch it off afterwards. This takes practice but is a life saver on 1st line work.
3 - Carve out time in your non-working schedule for recharge time and use it. Maybe this involves preparing meals in advance or planning which days to get takeaway food etc but make space with no commitments so you can switch your phone off and escape for a few hours every day if you need to.
4 - Schedule downtime on weekends. Don't allow friends and family to drag you out every day while you are adjusting to the new work - be firm and say I can't do it. Tell them the doctor ordered rest if they push on why.
5 - learn to meditate and some of the skills from this allow you to de-stress quickly using muscle relaxation techniques. It may feel cookey at first but stick with it as it can work well.
6 - when at work use all your breaks to the full and escape from others. You can use the meditation techniques to wind down and will soon learn to de-stress while you work if you stick with it - a lot of it is to do with relaxing your shoulders and breathing which have a knock on effect to the stress levels.
7 - don't get dragged in to work social events - tell them you have family issues and most won't press further.
A simple list but some tricky stuff to master - but if you do it you can survive well in my experience.
Good luck.
Customer service is a tough environment for people like us. But, we have good analytical skills and machine learning ability. You have the tools you need to get through this, and a community here that's more than willing to offer support. As Herge says, recharging is important, but so is letting out that panic energy that builds up from the stress in your life. I find cooking very difficult. The last time I cooked, I let the mask off and expressed every bit of frustration and agitation the experience dealt me. By the time I was done, I felt like I'd just completed an intense workout routine from all the energy I let out.
Hi and welcome to the community
The NAS has a great article about autistic burnout and fatigue, which includes:
You might find some of the advice helpful:
NAS - Autistic fatigue - a guide for autistic adults
You need to rest and recharge. It's far easier to say than actually do. For a start you need to be kind to yourself, life is tough and complicated.
If you can take time out as much as you can, light exercise, spend time doing this you enjoy, spend time outside, yoga, meditation, massage etc.
There's no quick fix. If should go and see your GP. They can possibly discuss your options eg. meds or talking therapy. Sometimes just talking to a trusted friend (who won't freak) and getting all those bottled thoughts out can be hugely beneficial.
It isn't a sign of weakness it's your bodies way of warning you to slow down and take a breath.
Take care