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How do you find talking to therapists?

Oran G. Utan

For about maybe seven months now, I've been using BetterHelp for private therapy. I can't say I've found there to be any progress, though I'm not sure I'm going in with the right expectations. My therapist tries to get me to reframe my thoughts. Use less negative language, try to imagine more positive outcomes to situations, that sort of thing. "What would it be like..." is her common language for this. To which my response is often along the lines of "Well that would be unrealistic because xyz". She also tends to point out my "yets" as hopeful, despite my assurance that it's just to avoid an absolute statement. I can't tell if I'm being too rigid and set in my ways, if her approach is ill effective for autism, or a bit of both.

For anyone that uses a therapist, how do you find your engagements with them?

Parents

  • I was about to create a similar thread when I found you beat me to it.

    I was in therapy before my diagnosis. Remotely delivered CBT therapy provided by my work. It was dreadful. It was basically me spending an hour every week being told I'm wrong about everything and need to try harder. It was gaslighting and I think it damaged my self esteem.

    I later spent six months seeing a "person centred therapist". That started a few months before my autism diagnosis and ended a few months after. She was lovely and it was nice talking to her, but all she did was listen. She didn't offer any help, guidance, advice. Any random person could have done that and charged a lot less.

    And for the last couple of months I've been seeing a coach instead (something a few people on here have talked about). I have one session left. And it's led nowhere. Again, no real help or guidance that wasn't completely obvious or freely available with a simple google search.

    It is possible I have been unlucky three times, but I now feel that therapy is just a racket that unskilled people use to extract large sums of money from vulnerable people.

    I'd love to be told I'm wrong.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Hi A 

    Have you thought about finding a therapist and or coach who specifically describes themselves as Autistic Neurodivergent or having ADHD if you haven’t already.
    I have just started working with a neurodivergent therapist and this time I am combining therapy with coaching.My first session was last week and what a difference! As we were talking she reminded me that as neurodivergent individuals we feel things far more deeply and when she said that I felt that she really understood what I was trying to say and what I was feeling.

    My previous 3 therapists always made me feel on edge( I was at that stage undiagnosed )and as you mentioned I felt that I wasn’t getting anywhere and at times feeling worse after a session.

    I have only had one session yet I am feeling very positive about this new therapist and I am hoping that being on an equal level neurodivergent to neurodivergent will give me what I have been needing and looking for.

  • in reply to New beginning

    Yes, the coach I’ve been seeing for the last 2 or 3 months is AuDHD and bills herself as being a coach for neurodivergent people. I suppose the problem is, like any job, some people are better than others.

    When I was researching coaches a few months ago I also interviewed a neurodivergent counsellor who I quite liked. I think I will get back in touch with her.

Reply
  • in reply to New beginning

    Yes, the coach I’ve been seeing for the last 2 or 3 months is AuDHD and bills herself as being a coach for neurodivergent people. I suppose the problem is, like any job, some people are better than others.

    When I was researching coaches a few months ago I also interviewed a neurodivergent counsellor who I quite liked. I think I will get back in touch with her.

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    Some people are better than others that’s true.It sounds like a good plan to get back to the counsellor you quite like.I hope that that works out for you as seeing therapists / counsellors whereby it doesn’t seem to be working only makes things worse I have found plus frustrating plus time is ticking by.

    I will keep my fingers crossed for you!