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How do you find talking to therapists?

Oran G. Utan

For about maybe seven months now, I've been using BetterHelp for private therapy. I can't say I've found there to be any progress, though I'm not sure I'm going in with the right expectations. My therapist tries to get me to reframe my thoughts. Use less negative language, try to imagine more positive outcomes to situations, that sort of thing. "What would it be like..." is her common language for this. To which my response is often along the lines of "Well that would be unrealistic because xyz". She also tends to point out my "yets" as hopeful, despite my assurance that it's just to avoid an absolute statement. I can't tell if I'm being too rigid and set in my ways, if her approach is ill effective for autism, or a bit of both.

For anyone that uses a therapist, how do you find your engagements with them?

Parents

  • I was about to create a similar thread when I found you beat me to it.

    I was in therapy before my diagnosis. Remotely delivered CBT therapy provided by my work. It was dreadful. It was basically me spending an hour every week being told I'm wrong about everything and need to try harder. It was gaslighting and I think it damaged my self esteem.

    I later spent six months seeing a "person centred therapist". That started a few months before my autism diagnosis and ended a few months after. She was lovely and it was nice talking to her, but all she did was listen. She didn't offer any help, guidance, advice. Any random person could have done that and charged a lot less.

    And for the last couple of months I've been seeing a coach instead (something a few people on here have talked about). I have one session left. And it's led nowhere. Again, no real help or guidance that wasn't completely obvious or freely available with a simple google search.

    It is possible I have been unlucky three times, but I now feel that therapy is just a racket that unskilled people use to extract large sums of money from vulnerable people.

    I'd love to be told I'm wrong.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Your experience with person centered therapists mirrors mine. I just had a session today. Almost every response from the therapist was either "I'm sorry x happened to you" or "I understand". Really don't know what that kind of response is supposed to do for me.

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  • in reply to Oran G. Utan

    I have just put your therapists response through chat Gpt and it recommends saying 

    “I appreciate you understand but I am looking for more specific guidance or strategies to help me with what I am dealing with.Can we explore some concrete steps or tools I can use ?” 

    Chat Gpt says that this expresses your gratitude whilst making your needs clear encouraging a more productive conversation.

  • in reply to Oran G. Utan

    I hear your frustration! 
    They do need to put some meat on those bare bones of “ I understand “ 

    My last therapist of the 3 offered somatic therapy which I found helpful describing what I felt in my body and where and also using paper and coloured pens to reproduce the shape etc on paper.I did find that helpful.My last session with him he was describing the poly vagal theory and provided me with a handout in his handwriting and explained that I could keep it.In the next session I asked if it would be ok to share it with an online community I am a member of.I had assumed that the handout was his work.He then told me that he had copied it from a book and was concerned about copyright.My point was he hadn’t been transparent and if he had explained that the handout he was giving me he had copied from a book it would have been no problem.

    The book was by Deb Dana .

    Is your therapist coach themselves neurodivergent?