School distress

I saw the above on a social media site. I responded privately to friends:

"Oh, I was so excited for the bullying to recommence, of course. Having had weeks of peace and quiet at home, albeit without any friends, I just couldn't wait to exchange that for months of incessant fear of psychological and physical bullying without respite."

It's over 40 years ago, but affects me still.

Just because someone else *appears* to have it worse than you do, does not negate or remove the events you suffered. Suffering is suffering, and it really can't be graded based on comparisons. Just like a pain scale in hospital (rate your pain between 1, being something you barely notice to 10 the worst pain you can image), suffering and traumatic events are entirely insular and personal.

From my own trauma experiences, It's perfectly normal to try and minimise the experience, to dismiss it as "not a big deal" but the fact that it's own your mind still means that it is a big deal. Therapy with someone specialising in traumatic events is something I can highly recommend.

I was bullied in primary one and two. I was the smallest in my class and there was a girl who had the same name as me, and she picked on me and encouraged others to do the same. They used to pick me up and swing me around without my consent, and one time they swung me too close to the boundary wall and I hit my head and I blacked out. I woke up on the floor of the staffroom with a bunch of teachers standing over me wondering if they should put witchhazel on it. I was sent home as normal at the end of the school day. No one told my parents. I didn't tell my parents because I kind of assumed the teachers would and anyway I just accepted it as part of normal school life. I moved schools soon after and thought the bullying was the cause, but recently discovered that it was just because my mum had thought I looked a bit unhappy at school. She discovered that I had been bullied only when I brought it up last year and she went "WHAT?!"