• Replies 8 replies
  • Subscribers 6 subscribers
  • Views 1219 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Not feeling OK.. for a long time now.

McG

Hello everyone,

I am currently un-diagnosed with anything and awaiting an ASD which can take up to 20 months.  I am currently a year into that wait.

I'm not sure how to start this discussion as i have had to bullet point everything.  I cannot justify in saying there is something  a miss due to my condition because medically at the moment I do not have one.  But i feel i need to say something as i'm not sure if I am genuinely struggling or it is a case of self loathing, I can't tell either apart.

- For a long time I have been worrying, not about anything in general, just a constant state of melancholy, I never really feel 'happy' which is strange considering I have a lovely home, a fantastic wife and two amazing kids.

-  I have always been socially awkward and find it very difficult to be around others including work where I am struggling to do daily tasks and feeling a have to put on a 'brave' face every time I encounter a work colleague. 

-  I am also getting 'brain fog' more and more again which I have had in the past, usually it would've been at work, but its at home now as well.  Struggling with concentration and empathy towards my loved ones.

- I simply want to be alone all the time, but with work, a house to run and family to take care off, its nearly impossible to achieve this. 

-  I have been feeling emotional quite a bit for a long time, a sense of a peak happiness is quickly followed by sadness and emotion be that from having fun with my kids or listening to music, which i do alot!

-  I feel I don't do enough for my family and I am selfish without knowing it. I love my wife with all my heart but I feel I don't do enough and in turn I feel like one of the kids as I feel she communicates to me like one of the kids when is come to discipline, I feel I can't make her happy because I am so wrapped up in my own selfishness and self loathing.

- I don't know why I feel like this, I have no need to.  I have a wonderful family and now I feel I am being selfish for feeling this way when I shouldn't.  But I can't seem to tell what is being selfish and self loathing and what is an actual issue that I maybe have.

Some thoughts and tips would be fantastic as I feel I am really struggling at the moment, when I perhaps shouldn't be.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this.

Parents Reply Children
  • in reply to Tigernew40

    Thank you for the advice, will take on board and definitely try a few of the techniques, every little helps I suppose.

    I did dabble in vipassana meditation, but soon lost interest. I must get back to it.

    Thanks again for your help.

  • in reply to McG

    Apologies,

    I’ll explain a few things that have helped me and still do daily.

    it all starts the day before:

    I play my day coming the night before

    I have bullet points and times

    from getting up to brushing teeth to get walking then down to the bed time routine.

    i drink 3l of water a day

     at healthily counting my calories protein etc

    i meditate 3 times per day with the head space app, nothing major 5 mins a go 

    I make time for my self with hobbies 

    I plan in time with my kids 

    I plan on time with my wife 

    I do my bit in the house 

    I also write 3 x things im grateful for 

    3 x things I can improve on

    and I always ask my self the same questions before bed

    did I really try today?

    and what can I do tomorrow to love myself more?

    these are the basics of what I do and have taken loads of practice, I have had such a tough year and we have been through a lot I’m sick of worrying about things that have happened and might not happen

    i keep busy to distract my mind because if I stay still I will create a problem

    sorry went on a bit there I hope you can take just a piece of what I have wrote and use it

    start wit yourself because if your no good to you your no good to anyone else