What's anger like for you?

There are degrees of anger for me, from the mild anger of a bad driver cutting in front of me in a dangerous way to the rage with the red mist descending and me being a real danger to life and limb.

I've learned to manage the milder anger with mindfulness and simply saving vengance to be served later in a more practical way when justified. It does give me a laser focus on the situation, racing pulse and all senses are heightened. I can control breathing and responses in these situations

Rage can come when somebody is trying ro rob me at knifepoint or hurt my family - then I completely lose control and the red mist descends and I will pick up anything to use as a weapon or just go in with fists flying - unfortunately with the intention to maim or worse.

It is like someone else has taken over in these situations and the viciousness is quite out of character for me. It does worry me that I will end up doing something I can't undo one of these days.

I'm able to take a lot of built up anger out in the demolition parts of my work which is a tremedous benefit.

i manage  to always stay the same, never seemingly showing emotions to others, everyone thinks im chill and ask me if i smoke canabis with how chill i appear and never changing in my expression or never seeming to care.... but my face doesnt express how i feel, i can feel extreme anger. but i can lash out when it tips over... so id be chill and flat looking, no issues, then next minute id smash my fist into a object. which then catches people off guard as they thought i was chill and didnt show any emotion.

im not sure though, maybe the anger could also be a screen for sadness or a cope for sadness as when i break the anger i get sadness beneath it. although not sure if thats just sometimes, or maybe if the anger is so high that my control of my anger is perhaps making me sad.... or maybe i want to act and harm people in my anger and me controlling and denying that due to common civility is perhaps then acting against me and making me sad...or maybe im sad that im being pushed closer and closer into wanting to harm someone when i dont want that.  could be everything, depending on circumstance.

The vast majority of the time my emotions are very muted so I don’t so much get angry so much as irritated.

But if I’m subjected to sensory overwhelm - particularly from noise - I will, very rarely, have a meltdown and that isn’t pretty. I can get so angry and shouty it practically melts nearby rocks. Thankfully this happens less than once a year.