Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello my autistic 16 year old son has recently been diagnosed with GAD and PTSD. It’s been a difficult journey to get support - he’s been too anxious to engage with therapy and been off school for some time and missed the whole of year 11. The hope is that the meds might help him enough to start to engage in life again and eventually access the therapy he needs. However, having read about the side effects he is just terrified of how he might feel if he takes the meds. He has lots of sensory issues around feeling nauseous had some general issues with his body and feeling uncomfortable. Although rationally he can understand that he might feel better he’d rather just stick with how he is than risk being the person who gets all the side effects. He is happy to take other medication such as painkillers and antibiotics but feels very different about this. I’ve told him he doesn’t have to take them and to think about it/wait until he’s ready. But I can’t help feeling frustrated.
Has anyone else experienced this or got any advice on how he might be encouraged to try the meds?
Thank you
Hi, I think whatever your son decides to do, it’s important that it is his decision and that he stands for it. I can understand his concerns- I have myself refused repeatedly to take antidepressants as I am anxious about taking any medication that affects my brain, worried about side effects and crucially I felt that I was feeling anxious and depressed because of my situation and I wanted to rather work on changing my situation than taking medication to make it more bearable. (Though of course medication can also help support someone to take positive steps and change things). I believe that anxiety and depression are not only intrinsic but that there is also a large external component- the environment we are in plays a huge role. Are there any factors in his environment that your son might be able to change? Why has it been difficult to engage with therapy? Is it the way it is delivered (ie phone or video or in person)? Therapy through NHS is often not autism specific which can make it inaccessible and unhelpful for autistic individuals. I’ve found therapy quite unhelpful in past and have become less and less enthusiastic to even give it a try- but recently I had a few sessions privately with a therapist working mainly with neurodivergent individuals who is actually late diagnosed autistic himself- and it has been so so much better- it is so much easier to talk to this therapist and whilst I can’t comment yet on the long term effect , it’s at least not making me more exhausted or anxious and depressed to engage. Could you possibly look for a therapist who is experienced in working with autistic individuals? Your son might be able to engage with therapy (with or without medication ) if it is the right kind of therapy, with the right therapist.
What you don’t want to happen is for your son to take medication because he feels pressured to do so- it might just create resentment and it will likely increase anxiety.
I think whatever he decides is a good and valid choice. He has to be comfortable with it.
It can take a long time to feel better and figure out what works for you- and the changes are often very small so it is hard to notice them- I know it must feel like a long time that your son has been out of school. I just want you to know that it is normal for this to take time and that it can sometimes be hard to see improvement.
Hello thanks for your reply and helpful advice. Yes since his burnout all pressure has been off, he’s not even making regular visits to see his dad and there is no pressure to re engage with education and his doing everything on his terms
He has successfully engaged with therapy in the past and the aim is to help him re engage with that. We are not trying to rush the recovery simply wanting a better quality of life for him.
Hi! Of course. I didn’t meant to imply you were rushing him! It sounds like you are doing an amazing job supporting him. I just wanted to say that it can take a long time as I myself have found this very frustrating and it can make it really hard to stay positive and to see the small changes. I hope he can reengage with therapy.
It’s ok! I am aware myself that as a mum I am just so desperate to find something that helps but trying to step back and ‘partner’ rather than ‘parent’