Published on 12, July, 2020
Me and my wife have been considering getting a dog to help the wellbeing of the family. In a family of 5, my eldest daughter is diagnosed as autistic and I'm self diagnosed. I can clearly see from the way my daughter loves dogs and plays with other people's dogs that she would absolutely love this, and I think this will be a calming influence for her - I'm aware of the links between autism and dogs and how they can help.
My issue is that I've never lived with a dog before, never grew up with them, and never been a "pet person". I relented to get 2 cats once because my wife begged for a pet. All I felt for years though was that I hated them, they drove me crazy, felt constantly stressed when they were around and felt like my personal space was invaded. It had the opposite affect on me.
A dog might be easier (depending on the breed), but I've still got a lot of reservations. Has anyone ever got a dog and found that they actually really liked them when they originally thought otherwise?
I think the reason why I didn't like cats is because of their retractable claws - I never knew when they would come out, so if they sat on me I'd constantly be alert. It didn't help that the two cats we did have were very strange, making weird howling noises. Dogs might be the same, jumping around and getting excited, but I do know a couple of dogs which are more relaxed and gentle and they don't bother me so much.
One key worry for me is that they will require a lot of looking after. My wife grew up with dogs and she's a dog walker, so she understands exactly what is needed. I just think that my children will want to do all the "fun" things while me and my wife end up with all the responsibility - I already end up with a lot of responsibilities for the family, so I wouldn't want a dog to feel neglected. It would be nice if my daughter could understand that so she could maybe try and be more involved with the family.
pdaddio83 said:Dogs might be the same, jumping around and getting excited
You will get lots of this in the puppy stage (up to about 1 year old) and even after if the dog is not trained to stop doing this.
Dogs will also pick up on your energy so if you are nervour around them then many will pick up and become nervous and unpredictable themselves - all part of that pack mentality.
I would suggest a breed like the golden retreiver which is much more docile once out of adolescence, but expect up to a year of hooligan behaviour while they grow up.
pdaddio83 said:My wife grew up with dogs and she's a dog walker, so she understands exactly what is needed.
You can learn all this stuff too, mostly from books and videos on dog psychology so if you are going to actually get one then take the time to learn about their behaviours and how to train them out of the undesirable ones - it is fairly straightforward once you know what to look for and I'm sure your wife can help you with any bits you are unsure of.
You could also speak to the companies who supply guide dogs as there is a reasonably high failure rate and you could end up getting a trained, socialised dog that is not quite good enough to make the grade but would still make an awesome family pet. That would be my first port of call, especially as when you pay for the dog you contribute to an awesome charity.