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Is this a meltdown??

Take5
1 month ago

Hey everyone 

Sorry to toss this out there but wondering if the following constitutes as a meltdown? 
I was with friends for dinner on Sunday and felt like I had to endure into the evening (probably 12pm)

I felt ok Monday and Tuesday but I feel dreadful now. We were invited to their 40th birthday this coming November while we were at dinner and I can’t stop going over this even though it’s months away. Obviously this is a big thing for me and my brain is trying to pre think scenarios and generally how I’m going to get through it. 
The whole evening was exhausting and I was very quiet, I just wanted to go home. I put myself through this for my family tbh as I don’t want them to miss out.

I really feel quite low today and the slightest thing makes me panic. 

Would be very grateful if anyone has any thoughts please?

Parents
  • 1 month ago

    Sounds a very familiar situation...

    I tend to find some events I'll overthink for weeks and even months in advance, usually ones I know (or assume) will be tough. When I say tough I mean I'll feel I need to script beforehand, mask a lot, be careful what I say and afterwards obsess about what I did or didn't say, "in case I was out of order" etc. This can also just be a day at work too, not a social.

    Other times I look forward to an event knowing I'll enjoy it, usually if it's very close friends of which I don't have many, but do feel I can be myself around.

    Each time I do something that involves over thinking or masking a lot I feel my "autistic battery" gets used, so it needs recharging, usually by being alone/quiet. The lower it gets the more anxious I get and the whole thing spirals.worse case is a full on burnout, which can throw me into a state for months.

    The trick is making sure that battery stays charged enough, can be tricky at times when there's a lot going on.

    I assume all this can be exaggerated because as autists, we tend not to "think inside or outside a box" , we don't tend to have a box at all. we also don't have the filters on anything coming in (senses can get overloaded),  filters on anything going out (we can tend to be brutally honest If were not careful to watch ourselves) so life can be intense and exhausting. (I'm generalising a bit here, it might just be me! Lol)

    Anyway, that's my waffle over, take care :)

Reply
  • 1 month ago

    Sounds a very familiar situation...

    I tend to find some events I'll overthink for weeks and even months in advance, usually ones I know (or assume) will be tough. When I say tough I mean I'll feel I need to script beforehand, mask a lot, be careful what I say and afterwards obsess about what I did or didn't say, "in case I was out of order" etc. This can also just be a day at work too, not a social.

    Other times I look forward to an event knowing I'll enjoy it, usually if it's very close friends of which I don't have many, but do feel I can be myself around.

    Each time I do something that involves over thinking or masking a lot I feel my "autistic battery" gets used, so it needs recharging, usually by being alone/quiet. The lower it gets the more anxious I get and the whole thing spirals.worse case is a full on burnout, which can throw me into a state for months.

    The trick is making sure that battery stays charged enough, can be tricky at times when there's a lot going on.

    I assume all this can be exaggerated because as autists, we tend not to "think inside or outside a box" , we don't tend to have a box at all. we also don't have the filters on anything coming in (senses can get overloaded),  filters on anything going out (we can tend to be brutally honest If were not careful to watch ourselves) so life can be intense and exhausting. (I'm generalising a bit here, it might just be me! Lol)

    Anyway, that's my waffle over, take care :)

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