Obsession

I get this too.

I have this for my spot in my gym class. I will leave and not attend if someone has taken up my spot or if some one is too close to me. I also get obsessed with shade. I will always make a note of places to rest in the shade and sometimes will plan a trip accordingly. when I drove I would circle and circle till I found a shady parking spot.

Thanks for reply. I just really struggle at moment. I tend to get filled with rage and anger if I can't park there

I don't eat spinach, I cannot digest it properly as I have an intolerance to all Brassica's (Mustard family) and non-soluble fibre. But I do take a mushroom-based "nootropics immune boosting compound" in a tablet or tincture daily. - this seems to do the trick! Cooking a variety of mushrooms in an omelette is always nice though. These can be expensive. Hopefully the science will catch up along with the Autistic biology and they won't always be.

Look into anti-anxiety medication which boosts GABA. They recommend for Huntington's. Requesting a small amount from a private GP can be useful, but these are often abused by people who don't have the same issues as we do.

Boika said:

I need more help with the intrusive thoughts, they are almost always linked to relationships of one kind or another

Happy to help if I can. We all have these and I've had to learn about social relationships (as we also have a symbiotic relationship to the earth! LOL). Do you have one example you feel comfortable sharing? Many of us here may have similar or shared experiences from what I've found. 

obcessions vs routine. i like to park in the same place. i like to do things the same as i did previously

This is a great post and have been processing it for a while.

I wasn't aware if GABA and how it works so have been looking at recommend foods - spinach being one of the best. The texture of cooked spinach is horrific and I am finding myself eating more raw vegetables in general. Hate the texture of mushrooms and tomatoes too but am forcing myself to eat them (trying to perfect cooking crispy mushrooms )

The car/obsession thing has always been a negative thing though, it wouldn't have to become positive, just being numb or unable to notice it would be enough.

My obsessive nature has been positive in my work, it is probably the only thing that has made it viable - everything else seems to drag me the other way.

(If I find Lactarius pyrogalus while I'm out taking photos I try to find someone to give one a taste - amuses me :)

I need more help with the intrusive thoughts, they are almost always linked to relationships of one kind or another (I suppose I mean linked to people interactions, no matter how fleeting)

Adding a note about Intrusive Thoughts. It's important to ask where they're coming from. We cannot always take ourselves out of the society we live in. Dreams are useful tools to help examine our world and its impact. 

For instance, we might internalise the 'spirit' or essence or immaterial system at large. This is a bit like a 'sixth sense' or 'intuition', which is a hyper-speed calculation of social exchanges and behaviours. It can be coupled with our own perspective which might be missing NeuroTypical unspoken social rules and possibly misinterpreting a situation. 

Another thing intrusive thoughts can be mistaken for is unresolved issues from a relationship. There are a great deal of books on these matters. Forgiving and setting new boundaries. Identifying roles and responsibilities. These can be difficult if we've never had help learning how to build and maintain relationships and how to have healthy boundaries.

Surprise transition is difficult for all of us. The working theory here has to do with less Filtering and less Inhibition. These 2 words relate to the brain. inhibitors are often GABA related, which is the gut-brain axis and their job is something like a police force: to create a resistance, a bit like a police squad keeping a protest within limits or an electric resistor. These effect the Salience Network and filtering. The Bayesian Theory on Autism may have pre-dated the neurology. 

I think there's always one part Nature (innate being, personality, inclinations and such) and one part Nurture (being shaped by physical and social environment). So perhaps you like cars. Or perhaps it's more about transport in general or how a road system operates. Either way, there's something here which might be a part of your potential whether a hobby, passion or possibility for a career path. We can be drawn to things which we might be a part of a solution for even if it's something as small as a colour scheme, a new type of spark plug or a new formula for paving roadways. Let your mind wander! 

I might write down everything I'm driven to resolve. Although, it's important to note we cannot control others, but we might be able to control things. It's not always helpful to critique others, but it can be helpful to evaluate things. Being driven to finish, resolve, fix, problem-solve - these aren't bad in themselves. When they prevent us from sleeping, though, is why it's good to note how our biology is working. I've found that minding a diet that helps produce GABA and on the odd occasion taking something for sleep which promotes GABA has been beneficial. 

There is a good reason to be sensitive - sensory. All humans are sensory beings. The difference with Autism is that we don't dull our senses to the degree of our NT peers, and we can also experience greater harm like tinnitus if not careful. However, the potential this has can be beneficial. For instance, mushrooms can be incredibly healthy or incredibly toxic. One needs to be able to grow and expand their ability to differentiate between incredibly nuanced colour, smell, taste, to be hypersensitive to symbiosis and landscape. To be religious about testing and examinations. I would trust a highly skilled and passionate Autistic mushroom forager over a Typical one anyday! 

Thanks JFG for this very understanding answer.

Trying to separate what may be autism, adhd, ocd or just "normal" behaviour is what I'm struggling with.

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

Autistics tend to be impacted internally to a greater intensity than our NT peers.

I've always felt like this but why am I not just a "sensitive" person?

Surprise transition, repeated frustration & intrusive thoughts are a common pattern for me.

I will lie in bed thinking about what cars are in the road and I cannot walk past a window without checking. Reinforcing behaviour? Is this related to past trauma, even trauma that may seem trivial to others?

I would love to let things go but I can't, any other coping strategies anyone?

There is an old military saying that I repeat to myself, something like "You cannot command what you do not control". It is no help.

You have a vision rooted in your mind somewhere about how to make life just so. We all do this. Autistics tend to be impacted internally to a greater intensity than our NT peers. It's a type of "hyper" sensory-impact. This can be useful. For instance, envisioning the night before what I'm wearing to a meeting tomorrow, really helps my flow in the morning. I had to learn to do this intentionally because if left to last - minute, I would be incredibly late. I don't make fast decisions very well. On the same note, I am reliable, dependable and must finish what I've started. 

Technically, it's not started as an obsession but a sudden surprise transition, which is hard. And then due to it's repeated frustration, it will have grown into something that occupies too much of your life. Can I make it home before anyone takes the spot? It's easy to always be on edge about something like this because certain things in life are communal and beyond our control. 

Of course you don't want to cover up the house with the van. I'd have trouble with that, too. I've had to learn to appropriate moments for a change of plans or schedule room for things not working as fluid as I'd like. If it were me, I would have some kind of compensation in place for the odd day when this happens. Perhaps these days I would turn into movie night, and have a delegated exotic tin of biscuits I wouldn't allow myself to touch any other time.

The principle to help: In order to allow for a thing or let go, we need something else to grab on to. 

Hi, I can relate. Has it been a problem for a while and seem to be getting worse?