:)

Absolutely! I thought so, you are so welcome!  That’s exactly what this autistic community is for.

I think the original poster forgot to add some very important information which could have added more context and therefore any conflict or upset could have been avoided.

 I also think that the original poster doesn’t really understand or accept the way that we autistics communicate (for example by being more direct or honest).

indeed and thank you ! we are trying to help each other ... GENUINELY

hear here !

I am sorry that the responses you have received are not what you expected.  Collectively, I think that any gaggle of autistic contributors can be considered as "Unexpected Items In the Bagging Area."

We have a tendency to speak our truths as we see them - hopefully with an adequacy of civility - but not always.  

[Disambiguation....I intend to pass no judgement here on either yourself nor the contributors....it is neither my place nor my wish to do so.....I merely highlight that this is an autistic forum, with all the "unexpecteds" that should reasonably be expected.]

By the way, the person you are replying is not being arrogant or rude they are just sharing their experiences. This is a common way for us autistics to show empathy.

You know nothing about me how dare you call it shaming her, l guess everyone on here is shaming their kids then by asking for advice.  You recommend lol l don't think you are qualified to recommend anything.  Arrogant and rude doesn't even come close.  

Reminder of Rule 5:

Be nice to one another and enjoy chatting with others. We encourage conversation and respectful debate; please be aware that individuals may give opinions which are not shared by other members. Insulting posts or comments making personal jibes will not be tolerated.   

That is kind of you to say.

In the event that my son ever flies the nest, then I think it's important he has an understanding of budgeting and managing household finances. When I moved out of the family home, this was something I'd had to figure out for myself through trial and error.

any hint of parents shaming their own children triggers me a bit because this is what happened to me and it is what caused all my mental ill health. As a parent I went through my own period of becoming frightened by my own children's developmental differences and allowed that fear to bounce back upon them making it worse. these days I love every single thing about my children no matter what and make sure I show it all the time. It is making such a positive difference honestly I recommend trying it

I applaud the way you included your son as an equal in your thought processes and decision making

stealing is not ok and I would never say it is ok

Apologies if I'm mistaken NAS91725... In your original post (before it was edited), I think you had omitted to mention that your daughter was stealing your debit card to pay for her weekly theatre visits.

I believe the responses you received may have been different if that information had been included.

Obviously, it is not OK that your daughter has been stealing your debit card.

As a parent, I previously found myself in a slightly similar situation with my adult son. He would use my debit card (with my knowledge and consent) to purchase groceries. However, whilst he was out grocery shopping, he would use my debit card to purchase items for himself that I hadn't consented to. At the time, I was on an incredibly tight budget. There were numerous occasions when I would find myself in a financial pickle because the balance in my bank account was no longer sufficient to pay the bills that I had budgeted for.

I didn't begrudge my son treating himself, but it was on the understanding that he asked me first, and that I could obviously afford it. It took time for my son to understand this. What helped was for me to write down my monthly income and expenses, and to go through it with my son.

?

NAS91725 said:

Yes don't worry about it it seems to be a source of amusement

I dont think anyone intended to come off as it 'being a source of amusement'. Sorry that we didnt help as you hoped 

Yes don't worry about it it seems to be a source of amusement

Was about posters daughter who was anorexic but now replaced that with an obsession of seeing theater shows. But is spending too much, gets upset if she cant see one every week.

Or something like that

What is this thread?

She doesn't have enough

Really !!! So her stealing my debit card is OK is it as long as she's having fun

Lol!  No nothing like that. I  mean the science of how syphons and and water displacement works. I'm not that kind of bloke haha