Does anyone want to adopt my mother?

Just a wee vent...

My phone rang earlier. Yes, it was my mother. Scream

The conversation wasn't too bad to begin with, but the longer she talked, the more I found myself thinking that she sounded incredibly cantankerous and selfish. Towards the end of the almost hour-long phone call, she had been wittering on about something or other. Well, then she wanted my opinion on what she had just said.

Me: About what? You have said rather a lot of things.

Mother: Have you actually been listening to anything I've said? You're as bad as [name of one of her sisters]. There is no point telling you things if you're not going to listen.

Me, thinking to myself: Well, stop bl**dy me phoning me and rabbiting on for so long!

Only the other day, I posted a status update on Facebook, explaining the difficulties I can have with phone conversations. My mother had read it, which is what I had been hoping for considering it had mostly been intended for her benefit. 

It has been said that daughters turn into their mothers. For this reason, the prospect of introducing a boyfriend (if I got one) to my mother is enough to give me nightmares. After more than a few minutes with my mother, the poor sod would probably want to get as far away as possible, as quickly as possible. The idea that I might end up like my mother would terrify him.

After some of the things my mother had said during her phone call, I cannot help but wonder what my dad would have made of it all if he was still alive. There are occasions when I find it difficult to feel an ounce of sympathy for her.

Anyway, right at the end of that phone conversation, my mother asked a question that needed an answer I was unable to provide (relating to a recent bank transfer). I said I would need to phone her back a few minutes later. The first words out of my mouth when I made that call were, "I will need to keep this short, but just to let you know..." The rest of the sentence probably took less than a minute to say, but it was another ten minutes before my mother enabled me to end the call.

If anyone would like to adopt my mother, I would be incredibly grateful. However, I would probably be seriously inclined to question your sanity.

Parents
  • Jog on, I would rather press my thumbs into my eyes. I sent my mother the same link to try and explain anxiety and phone calls, I should have just sent it to the cat.

    My sister gave mother an Alexa radio thing, her latest worry was, “Alexa is listening to everything I say,” my reply was,”no it would have killed itself by now!”

  • Jog on, I would rather press my thumbs into my eyes.

    If it wasn't for the fact that I am sitting down on a chair in front of my computer typing this reply, I think I would be rolling on the floor pi**ing myself with laughter. Rofl

    “Alexa is listening to everything I say,” my reply was,”no it would have killed itself by now!”

    My mother has an Alexa but stopped using it, as she had similar fears to your mother. Goodness knows what possessed her to get it in the first place.

    The response you gave your mother is brilliant. Whilst I doubt I would have the courage to say something like that to my mother, I would most likely be thinking it.

  • The mums have got a point.

    Imagine Alexa as a silent stranger sitting in your kitchen, month after month just listening to what you say, waiting for something you say that interests their boss, but you have no idea what interests their boss.

    In between doing that they will take your shopping orders and play records for you, and that would be great and very useful if it were not for the other thing.... 

    Alexas Boss of course, is a man who when he ventured into space in his knob shaped rocket (and now I've put that image in your mind go take a second look at the amazon logo.. The guy is obsessed!) attracted over 200,000 signatures in a petition to have him not return to earth. 

    All I know is my (in a previous life) fellow I.T. professionals rarely are a fan, and the MI5 lady at my mate's place carries a laptop where the camera has been physically destroyed along with it's microphone. 

    And something in me just knows than in a few years time the "Alexa Highlights" T.V. Show and web channel will so a Christmas Special on "Autistic meltdowns" and I don't want to hear myself billed at number three..

    But mostly as we all know (paranoia aside) that they use these things to target adverts at us, and I don't want to be fed a load of ads for things I actually might want or even need but which I still cannot afford. That just leads to discontent and LESS personal happiness, which is not in my best interest.

    Your mums might be annoying, but they ain't stupid...

Reply
  • The mums have got a point.

    Imagine Alexa as a silent stranger sitting in your kitchen, month after month just listening to what you say, waiting for something you say that interests their boss, but you have no idea what interests their boss.

    In between doing that they will take your shopping orders and play records for you, and that would be great and very useful if it were not for the other thing.... 

    Alexas Boss of course, is a man who when he ventured into space in his knob shaped rocket (and now I've put that image in your mind go take a second look at the amazon logo.. The guy is obsessed!) attracted over 200,000 signatures in a petition to have him not return to earth. 

    All I know is my (in a previous life) fellow I.T. professionals rarely are a fan, and the MI5 lady at my mate's place carries a laptop where the camera has been physically destroyed along with it's microphone. 

    And something in me just knows than in a few years time the "Alexa Highlights" T.V. Show and web channel will so a Christmas Special on "Autistic meltdowns" and I don't want to hear myself billed at number three..

    But mostly as we all know (paranoia aside) that they use these things to target adverts at us, and I don't want to be fed a load of ads for things I actually might want or even need but which I still cannot afford. That just leads to discontent and LESS personal happiness, which is not in my best interest.

    Your mums might be annoying, but they ain't stupid...

Children
  • I remember my dad saying he would like a simple portable battery-operated radio (with earphones) for his birthday. My mother's side of the family suggested they club together to get him an Alexa. He made it clear that it would be wasted on him. I believe he was a wise man indeed.

    My mother claims to take her privacy seriously, so it makes no sense to me that she got herself an Alexa after my dad's death. She wanted it so that she could fall asleep listening to music, and wake up listening to music. The Alexa quickly drove her to distraction. It assumed that if she had woken up one day listening to Classical FM, she would want to wake up listening to Classical FM the following day, and so on. In addition to her privacy concerns, this contributed to her deciding that Alexa was more trouble than it was worth.

    Until you pointed it out, it had never occurred to me that the Amazon logo looked like anything more than a slightly rounded arrow. Now that I have studied it, I cannot un-see the *other thing* that it resembles. Laughing

    I sincerely hope there will be no such thing as an 'Alexa Highlights' TV show. As it is, I can sometimes find it difficult enough trying to find something half-decent to watch on TV. 

    The grandson of one of my dad's cousins used to work for ITV and the BBC. He now works for Amazon. I am not impressed. Lol.