Does anyone want to adopt my mother?

Just a wee vent...

My phone rang earlier. Yes, it was my mother. Scream

The conversation wasn't too bad to begin with, but the longer she talked, the more I found myself thinking that she sounded incredibly cantankerous and selfish. Towards the end of the almost hour-long phone call, she had been wittering on about something or other. Well, then she wanted my opinion on what she had just said.

Me: About what? You have said rather a lot of things.

Mother: Have you actually been listening to anything I've said? You're as bad as [name of one of her sisters]. There is no point telling you things if you're not going to listen.

Me, thinking to myself: Well, stop bl**dy me phoning me and rabbiting on for so long!

Only the other day, I posted a status update on Facebook, explaining the difficulties I can have with phone conversations. My mother had read it, which is what I had been hoping for considering it had mostly been intended for her benefit. 

It has been said that daughters turn into their mothers. For this reason, the prospect of introducing a boyfriend (if I got one) to my mother is enough to give me nightmares. After more than a few minutes with my mother, the poor sod would probably want to get as far away as possible, as quickly as possible. The idea that I might end up like my mother would terrify him.

After some of the things my mother had said during her phone call, I cannot help but wonder what my dad would have made of it all if he was still alive. There are occasions when I find it difficult to feel an ounce of sympathy for her.

Anyway, right at the end of that phone conversation, my mother asked a question that needed an answer I was unable to provide (relating to a recent bank transfer). I said I would need to phone her back a few minutes later. The first words out of my mouth when I made that call were, "I will need to keep this short, but just to let you know..." The rest of the sentence probably took less than a minute to say, but it was another ten minutes before my mother enabled me to end the call.

If anyone would like to adopt my mother, I would be incredibly grateful. However, I would probably be seriously inclined to question your sanity.

  • It would be incredibly kind and brave of you if you did adopt my mother .

    I am so very saddened to read about Lily. It was clear from the way you often spoke about her that the pair of you had a very special bond. Therefore, I can only imagine how much you now miss her, and how lost you must feel without her loyal companionship. Dog

    No matter how much you may think the company of my mother would be lovely for you, I feel certain that within the first twenty-four hours, you would be pleading with me and my son to take her back.

    Anyway, please don't feel sorry for me. The venting helped. Mothers, or at least some mothers can certainly be hard work. ;-)

  • I'm not crazy in my opinion but I would adopt your mum ^^ 

    For a few reasons I have, one I think you would appreciate the break... And two I would love the extra company because I'm lonely all the time. lol.

    Since I lost Lily I get lonely really easily so more company would be lovely.

    I'm not sure we would be compatible though lol as I'm not great company but I'd be willing to try hehe :—) 

    More seriously though I'm sorry you went through this and I hope venting helped you Sparkly. Mums huh? They're hard work aren't they ;) 

  • I remember my dad saying he would like a simple portable battery-operated radio (with earphones) for his birthday. My mother's side of the family suggested they club together to get him an Alexa. He made it clear that it would be wasted on him. I believe he was a wise man indeed.

    My mother claims to take her privacy seriously, so it makes no sense to me that she got herself an Alexa after my dad's death. She wanted it so that she could fall asleep listening to music, and wake up listening to music. The Alexa quickly drove her to distraction. It assumed that if she had woken up one day listening to Classical FM, she would want to wake up listening to Classical FM the following day, and so on. In addition to her privacy concerns, this contributed to her deciding that Alexa was more trouble than it was worth.

    Until you pointed it out, it had never occurred to me that the Amazon logo looked like anything more than a slightly rounded arrow. Now that I have studied it, I cannot un-see the *other thing* that it resembles. Laughing

    I sincerely hope there will be no such thing as an 'Alexa Highlights' TV show. As it is, I can sometimes find it difficult enough trying to find something half-decent to watch on TV. 

    The grandson of one of my dad's cousins used to work for ITV and the BBC. He now works for Amazon. I am not impressed. Lol.

  • The mums have got a point.

    Imagine Alexa as a silent stranger sitting in your kitchen, month after month just listening to what you say, waiting for something you say that interests their boss, but you have no idea what interests their boss.

    In between doing that they will take your shopping orders and play records for you, and that would be great and very useful if it were not for the other thing.... 

    Alexas Boss of course, is a man who when he ventured into space in his knob shaped rocket (and now I've put that image in your mind go take a second look at the amazon logo.. The guy is obsessed!) attracted over 200,000 signatures in a petition to have him not return to earth. 

    All I know is my (in a previous life) fellow I.T. professionals rarely are a fan, and the MI5 lady at my mate's place carries a laptop where the camera has been physically destroyed along with it's microphone. 

    And something in me just knows than in a few years time the "Alexa Highlights" T.V. Show and web channel will so a Christmas Special on "Autistic meltdowns" and I don't want to hear myself billed at number three..

    But mostly as we all know (paranoia aside) that they use these things to target adverts at us, and I don't want to be fed a load of ads for things I actually might want or even need but which I still cannot afford. That just leads to discontent and LESS personal happiness, which is not in my best interest.

    Your mums might be annoying, but they ain't stupid...

  • We coukdnt afford to waste food. The neighbours offered to help. I dont know to be honest, he could rarely do anything right in my mother's eyes,  sometimes justified though Unamused

  • That is kind of you to say, and I'm glad you found it amusing.

  • How do you like a whole thread,rather than just an individual message? I like this thread; it's been quite amusing.

  • I'm inclined to think that if our mothers lived under the same roof, they might get along well and possibly encourage each other to be more irritating. So yes, I feel it likely that you might find yourself wanting to emigrate to a country as far away as possible. Stuck out tongue winking eye

  • One Mum is enough but two under the same roof? I think I would need to emigrate...Or move myself in to the dog house with Sandwich - my pup Stuck out tongue winking eye 

    Oh dang that's crazy talking about things like her sex life as well. Haha. My Mum hasn't done this yet. Hopefully she never will! I can take most things but not sure I could sit and listen to that. Mums minds work in mysterious ways! Not once have I ever thought of striking up a conversation about anything my Mum finds interesting to chat about.

    You! At least I have the advantage of not living under the same roof as my mother. 

    Curse the invention of phones Rofl

  • You have my sympathies Teknoid. Considering your current living arrangements, I can completely understand why you would prefer not to adopt a mother that seems similar to your own.

    The older my mother gets, the less of a filter she seems to have. Whilst I can understand why you would rather not know the details of your dad's bowel habits (courtesy of your mum), it is tame compared to some of the things my mother has told me (and my son) about my dearly departed dad.

    I’m not sure who I feel sorry for more, you or myself.

    You! At least I have the advantage of not living under the same roof as my mother. Wink

  • Haha oh boy your post was funny – I don’t mean as in it’s funny you have to endure such things but funny as in what your Mum is like and remarkably my Mum is similar. Reading this it was almost like I wrote it myself.

    Downside is that I still live at home so there’s no escaping my Mum and she just appears like she teleports and she’ll be there in my room telling me about the woman next door and her cat or about my dads’ bowel habits...Yegods...Haha! And because she’s here in person it’s almost impossible to escape her. It’s a matter of put up, shut up and wait until she’s finally finished and decided to leave. 

    The longest conversation I’ve ever had with my Mum with her gossiping is an hour and eighteen minutes – Yes! I did indeed time her.

    So as kind as your offer is, no thanks I don’t think I’ll adopt her on this particular occasion. I have enough on my plate with my own Mum and her quirky nature and topics of discussion – as I’m sure you can realise.

    I’m not sure who I feel sorry for more, you or myself. Rofl

  • Goodness! I find it hard to think of my mother doing something like that, as she doesn't like food waste. Therefore, I reckon she would have ended up asking the neighbours if they could make use of it.

    Out of curiosity, did your dad ever buy another turkey again, or did he decide to leave it to the expert (your mother)? 

  • , When I feel the need to let off steam and vent, I try to add a sprinkling of humour (when possible) to lift the mood of others, as well as myself. Relaxed

    The title was inspired by a vague recollection of someone attempting to sell their parent or spouse on eBay. I think this may have been during the early days of eBay and wasn't intended to be taken seriously.

  • I feel like she would actually get bored by me and want to go back home. LOL. Most people don't like being around me, which is fair enough, so I don't think it would last but I would still love to :) 

    I'm not surprised about your personality clash. From what I can tell that seems to be a thing for most parents and their children, I never had it with my mum, we couldn't have been closer but I felt it a little with my dad at times. We got on but we weren't super close.

    I hope you're feeling better today after your phone call yesterday x

    Hopefully you will have a phone call free day :) 

  • Well, your mother reminds me of my sister. My sister can talk on the phone 6 hours straight, basically talking to herself. The phone runs out of battery before she runs out of things to say.

  • When we were young, my dad bought a turkey one christmas. It was too big to go in the oven, so my mum threw it in the street Relaxed

  • I laughed when i read the title Relaxed️ i like your humour x

  • It is sweet of you to say that you would love to adopt my mother, but if that were to happen I feel quite certain that you would quickly regret it.

    My mother could talk the hind legs off a donkey. She LOVES talking on the phone about anything and everything. Mostly, it is gossip that is none of my business, and about people that she often doesn't know. For example, something that one of her friends or neighbours have told her about someone else.

    I know you had a good relationship with your mother and miss her terribly. My relationship with my mother has never been close, due to a complete personality clash.

  • Jog on, I would rather press my thumbs into my eyes.

    If it wasn't for the fact that I am sitting down on a chair in front of my computer typing this reply, I think I would be rolling on the floor pi**ing myself with laughter. Rofl

    “Alexa is listening to everything I say,” my reply was,”no it would have killed itself by now!”

    My mother has an Alexa but stopped using it, as she had similar fears to your mother. Goodness knows what possessed her to get it in the first place.

    The response you gave your mother is brilliant. Whilst I doubt I would have the courage to say something like that to my mother, I would most likely be thinking it.

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