Just a wee vent...
My phone rang earlier. Yes, it was my mother. 
The conversation wasn't too bad to begin with, but the longer she talked, the more I found myself thinking that she sounded incredibly cantankerous and selfish. Towards the end of the almost hour-long phone call, she had been wittering on about something or other. Well, then she wanted my opinion on what she had just said.
Me: About what? You have said rather a lot of things.
Mother: Have you actually been listening to anything I've said? You're as bad as [name of one of her sisters]. There is no point telling you things if you're not going to listen.
Me, thinking to myself: Well, stop bl**dy me phoning me and rabbiting on for so long!
Only the other day, I posted a status update on Facebook, explaining the difficulties I can have with phone conversations. My mother had read it, which is what I had been hoping for considering it had mostly been intended for her benefit.
It has been said that daughters turn into their mothers. For this reason, the prospect of introducing a boyfriend (if I got one) to my mother is enough to give me nightmares. After more than a few minutes with my mother, the poor sod would probably want to get as far away as possible, as quickly as possible. The idea that I might end up like my mother would terrify him.
After some of the things my mother had said during her phone call, I cannot help but wonder what my dad would have made of it all if he was still alive. There are occasions when I find it difficult to feel an ounce of sympathy for her.
Anyway, right at the end of that phone conversation, my mother asked a question that needed an answer I was unable to provide (relating to a recent bank transfer). I said I would need to phone her back a few minutes later. The first words out of my mouth when I made that call were, "I will need to keep this short, but just to let you know..." The rest of the sentence probably took less than a minute to say, but it was another ten minutes before my mother enabled me to end the call.
If anyone would like to adopt my mother, I would be incredibly grateful. However, I would probably be seriously inclined to question your sanity.