Does anyone want to adopt my mother?

Just a wee vent...

My phone rang earlier. Yes, it was my mother. Scream

The conversation wasn't too bad to begin with, but the longer she talked, the more I found myself thinking that she sounded incredibly cantankerous and selfish. Towards the end of the almost hour-long phone call, she had been wittering on about something or other. Well, then she wanted my opinion on what she had just said.

Me: About what? You have said rather a lot of things.

Mother: Have you actually been listening to anything I've said? You're as bad as [name of one of her sisters]. There is no point telling you things if you're not going to listen.

Me, thinking to myself: Well, stop bl**dy me phoning me and rabbiting on for so long!

Only the other day, I posted a status update on Facebook, explaining the difficulties I can have with phone conversations. My mother had read it, which is what I had been hoping for considering it had mostly been intended for her benefit. 

It has been said that daughters turn into their mothers. For this reason, the prospect of introducing a boyfriend (if I got one) to my mother is enough to give me nightmares. After more than a few minutes with my mother, the poor sod would probably want to get as far away as possible, as quickly as possible. The idea that I might end up like my mother would terrify him.

After some of the things my mother had said during her phone call, I cannot help but wonder what my dad would have made of it all if he was still alive. There are occasions when I find it difficult to feel an ounce of sympathy for her.

Anyway, right at the end of that phone conversation, my mother asked a question that needed an answer I was unable to provide (relating to a recent bank transfer). I said I would need to phone her back a few minutes later. The first words out of my mouth when I made that call were, "I will need to keep this short, but just to let you know..." The rest of the sentence probably took less than a minute to say, but it was another ten minutes before my mother enabled me to end the call.

If anyone would like to adopt my mother, I would be incredibly grateful. However, I would probably be seriously inclined to question your sanity.

Parents
  • Jog on, I would rather press my thumbs into my eyes. I sent my mother the same link to try and explain anxiety and phone calls, I should have just sent it to the cat.

    My sister gave mother an Alexa radio thing, her latest worry was, “Alexa is listening to everything I say,” my reply was,”no it would have killed itself by now!”

Reply
  • Jog on, I would rather press my thumbs into my eyes. I sent my mother the same link to try and explain anxiety and phone calls, I should have just sent it to the cat.

    My sister gave mother an Alexa radio thing, her latest worry was, “Alexa is listening to everything I say,” my reply was,”no it would have killed itself by now!”

Children
  • Jog on, I would rather press my thumbs into my eyes.

    If it wasn't for the fact that I am sitting down on a chair in front of my computer typing this reply, I think I would be rolling on the floor pi**ing myself with laughter. Rofl

    “Alexa is listening to everything I say,” my reply was,”no it would have killed itself by now!”

    My mother has an Alexa but stopped using it, as she had similar fears to your mother. Goodness knows what possessed her to get it in the first place.

    The response you gave your mother is brilliant. Whilst I doubt I would have the courage to say something like that to my mother, I would most likely be thinking it.