Are there any antidepressants that don't make you feel like ***? (sensitivity to side effects)

Hang in there. Take it one day at a time Jakey. Enjoy the good days and on the bad remember that another good day is just round the corner. X

Thanks. I appreciate everyone's input though. It's hard when I'm in the wrong mood, I can acknowledge more positives today than I usually can. I acted different for ***** sake. I wish I could be like this all the time. I'm nuts. I've nuts. 

[Edited by Moderator]

I'm relieved to hear today has been better :) I am signing off now but my moderator colleagueEunice Mod will be online tomorrow - Also, I'll message our team leader as well so they can reach out to you in private as well.

As you've seen from the responses to your first post, this community can offer a lot of warm and knowledgeable support in times like these, so stay strong and reach out here when ever you need.

Best,

SarahMod

I feel a lot better, best I've ever been today as I'm in a WhatsApp group for autists worldwide. 

I'll probably need some help later because apparently if the citalopram is still having side effects, I'll need someone to talk to in those dark moments. 

I'm not sure what you mean by that quote? 

Hi Jakey - sorry to read how distressed you have been these last couple of days, I've been there too. How have you been today? I can refer you to our team leader to contact if you feel your in need of that today? I'll be online for the next hour so let me know what you think 

I Sperg said:

I'm really starting to warm to you Jakey.

Just out of curiosity, did you read the post I made up thread that starts with that quote?

I'm genuinely curious as to how you found that one...

Your last line resonates strongly, and is indeed a good reason to keep going. 

I've been given those links, hundreds of times, people only use it to look like a good guy. 

I'm of the belief that we have to help each other in order to help ourselves. Short term and long term help come from that. My advice to people, comes from the heart. If I found someone who was suicidal, I'd do my best to pick at that to get to the source, and address the source. Not give them a useless number/email they probably won't use anyway then call it a day. And everyone's different, the numbers/emails aren't a one size fits all solution. I mean all that in the nicest way possible, and I was really pissed off, having a meltdown over it because this isn't what helps me. Unorthodoxy is my middle name I think. 

I've had to refute my reasons to not live many times, I only realized a few years back why I should live. It's to help others, and bring kindness to a very unkind planet.  

No.
They are all designed to alter your brain chemistry, the wanted bits work but the unwanted side-effects are considered acceptable against the benefits. 

I don't think they're deliberately trying to kill us but it can seem that way.

Like others on here have reported I also had an horrendous experience with Citalopram. I experienced severe agitation, restlessness, a massive spike in anxiety and panic attacks, insomnia, horrific nightmares when I did manage to sleep.

My GP kept telling me that was normal and that I should stick with them. After a couple of months on them I was experiencing constant suicidal thoughts and obsessively making actual plans to act on them. I had not experienced such suicidal thoughts prior to taking the Citalopram ( I was put on them for anxiety not depression) and it was terrifying.

Finally I saw a locum GP who had the sense to take me off them immediately and prescribed a non SSRI antidepressant instead. I was no longer suicidal on those but they had other intolerable side effects and had to be stopped. I genuinely believe I would not be alive today if I had not seen that locum GP.

In my opinion they are potentially very dangerous, should be used with extreme caution and only if the patient requests them. Of course some people do find them tolerable and helpful and I can only speak from my own experience.

I think you are right that they don't understand us. These drugs have not been adequately tested on autistic people and we can have atypical and adverse reactions to them. Here on the NAS website it says:

"Although guidelines consider antidepressants are generally useful and safe, there is very little research into whether they help treat depression specifically in autistic people. What research there is suggests autistic people may be more likely to experience side effects"

Much more research is needed. Scientific research indicates that a significant proportion of autistic people actually have high serotonin levels in their blood already.

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/serotonins-link-autism-explained/

"researchers have consistently found that about one in four people on the spectrum has high blood serotonin"

The doctors prescribing these drugs do not understand the impact they could have on autistic people. I believe the effects I suffered were as a result of SSRI induced activation syndrome.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Activation_syndrome

"Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) have been associated with a state of restlessness, lability, agitation, and anxiety termed "activation syndrome". In some people, this state change can increase suicidal tendencies"

There was a BBC Panorama documentary recently about SSRI antidepressants. It covered some of the long term side effects people were experiencing, even long after they had stopped taking them. It also showed how difficult withdrawal could be. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001n39z

Ultimately it's your decision if you take them or not. If they're not helping or the side effects are intolerable for you then it's perfectly understandable if you decide not to. Good luck whatever you decide.

Jakey, I truly get that, but try to cut people some slack. Most of us in this thread are trying to be helpful, and Kevin does come up with good links form time to time.

Can I ask you, what do YOU think would be most helpful to you? In the short term and in the long term?

None of those services help. Stop suggesting them please, it's harming mental health. 

Hi Jakey,

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time and experiencing these horrible side effects.

 If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.

If it’s outside your GP hours call  111 to reach the NHS 111 service: 

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/

The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful. 

If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.

You can find more information here: 

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide 

Best wishes,

Kevin Mod

I'm really starting to warm to you Jakey. You actually seem to be looking for a solution, not platitudes. D consider reading the book I recommend in my bio, it will provide you with very useable information, that you can use to end your unwanted viginity. At least it worked for me, my relationship management skills improved dramatically after I read it. If you are traumaticaly poor as some of us are, pm me a send to address and I'll buy you a copy off ebay, and get it sent.

It's about £3 out of my pocket, but helping people is way more satisfying to me than 3/5ths of a packet of under the counter cigarettes... 

Other things that have worked well for me, are:

Living with a cat,

Learning about the life of Jesus Christ, and trying to emulate as much of it as I can,

Learning about the real virtues and practicing them as discreetly as I can manage.

Learning what I am good at and what I am not.

"Happiness" which we all seek, is an untrustworthy and fleeting emotion, I've found that pursuing "contentment" to be more useful.    

Forget "romance" that's neuro-typical stuff, and largely a case of appearance trumping substance, and when the initial rush of a relationship (which is as intoxicating and debilitating as pretty much any drug I've tried) ends, then you want your partner to find you too useful and supportive to discard...

Those are skills I picked up from external sources, and used to replace the very poor skills that my early life training & autism had inflicted on me...

Don't get me wrong, I still have my bad days, (most of last week to be honest!)  but I have some tools to manage that the most effective being that I realise that I am at the end responsible for my own problems, and I have enough honesty and self actualisation now to decide whether my issues are caused by my own attitude, or weakness of character, (in which case I do as little as possible, because when I am "off balance" and focussed on my own misery I know I have a tendancy to make poor decisions) or whether the problem is external, in which case I can choose to either run away or confront it.

I wish you the best Jakey, and I do hope there's a useful takeaway for you somewhere here in this post.

I hate to be blunt like this but it's the hard truth and I mean it in the nicest way possible. Those helplines are not helpful, they're never autism friendly, and they never actually help. Really the best help comes from the heart. Not a trivialization of mental health issues which is what those helplines are. 

There are some good mental health helplines - like the charity ‘Mind’. You could try talking to them maybe? I think there’s one called ‘Shout’. Could be worth a try?

Hi Jakey, I don’t think they’re trying kill us.  However I think they often prescribe anti-depressants because they know that the waiting lists for talking therapies etc are ridiculously long whereas SSRI drugs can be prescribed on the day and are much MUCH cheaper for the nhs than therapy. I do agree though that they are pretty damn reckless in that they know that many already vulnerable people are going to get very distressed by the side effects and some poor souls to the extent that they take their own lives.

I think these drugs do help some people though - I’ve heard a lot of people say they’ve been helped by them. I think I agree with you and others here who have said that people with autism seem to be more sensitive to drugs and their side effects. That’s been the case with me with various things. Maybe it’s hypersensitive interoception - that we feel bodily sensations more acutely than neurotypical people. I don’t know. Ultimately what matters is that we get good and effective help when we need it - and it’s often not the case.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s horrible and traumatic. Please don’t lose hope though. And take care and remember that all the advice says to come off anti-depressant medication very gradually - especially if you’ve been taking it for some time. If you suddenly stop you might get withdrawal effects. So please be careful and do it gradually, because you’ve already suffered enough and the last thing you need is for stopping them to be harder than it has to be. 

I know it’s tough but you’ll get through this. I hope you’ve got a supportive family member or friend to support you at the moment? Good luck. 

It doesn’t sound like you’re having fun, bud, but we’re still here and we’re listening.. I don’t know much about withdrawal, but try to stay hydrated, we literally do care..:)

Again, I can't contact them because it's the NHS. They literally don't care. They want me dead. 

They might advise you to stick with it, but if you make it clear that you've made your decision, they'll tell you how to taper it down because while they might believe continuing to take it and waiting for the side effects to get more bearable would be best, if your plan is to just stop cold that's worse.

Withdrawal sucks really bad. I have never experienced side effects as bad as the effects of withdrawal.