Therapy

That sounds very controlling and somewhat concerning. Are you being subjected to such ultra strict 'discipline'?

I wonder if the kind of attitude and prejudice you describe is more prevalent in Ireland than in the UK. Here the idea of a live in carer or a chaperone is a long way from the actual reality of available support for most autistic adults. I live alone and would certainly not need or want a live in carer. I would love to have a chaperone to help me navigate a stressful long distance journey, but such services do not exist.

Sadly there are many people who refuse to accept or understand autism. Many more seem to believe that autism is something that only affects children and the only people requiring support are the parents of the autistic children. Autistic adults are in the main just left to get on with it without support.

Since my own (later in life) diagnosis at age 52, I’ve experienced at first hand, including from family, how many people, perhaps motivated by prejudice and discriminatory attitudes “point blank” refuse to understand the condition and who believe and maintain that the only way to effectively manage this condition is by means of ultra-strict Millitary style discipline in every aspect of our lives right down to the smallest detail, including by means of a live-in carer, as in thier view people with this condition must never be permitted to live alone, that travelling long distances unchaperoned is inappropriate, as such people firmly believe and maintain that lack of “proper” discipline in childhood is the root cause of our condition - some of my extended family members are ex-Millitary and they refuse to see it in any other terms 

Fab! :) 

You take it easy today and give yourself time. Important to remember that you're doing amazing! ^^

Have a lovely day today xxx

Thanks for putting so much time and care into those words Ann! Just today was all I took, and working from home tomorrow. My job isn’t rocket science but does take sustained concentration that I must confess has been in short supply this month. Being ill over Christmas and my dad being in for a major op meant I came back just as tired as when I got off. I was so bad this morning I had a mad thought about phoning my GP and asking for a line or something, but in balance it would be overkill and I’d worry that I would have too much time to think. And worse, too much to catch up on (a block of new developments rather than the more manageable drip feed of ‘what fresh hell…’) in one go. It’s not fear of missing out, just fear of not knowing and the impact being harder for being late. 

Cheers. Everyone’s been so kind, not least yourself. 

She’s so patient with me - the ramblings that poor woman’s had to listen to… you can tell it’s a vocation, the session fee would not be enough for most to endure me’

Thanks old bean. I know you also sometimes fret about saying/posting too much (needlessly in your case, it’s all great stuff) so you’ll understand that I felt I should give everyone a break from my bommbardment of posts, while I was melting down anyway. But it’s nice to be made to feel so welcome and appreciated. Or, let’s say tolerated

Thanks Luna.  Working from home tomorrow will help too, im definitely not up to ‘out there’ right now. 

That’s such a nice thing to say, everyone here is lovely so you’re easily pleased - luckily for me! 

Thanks Sparkly, it was an intense fifty minutes that felt like ten. But it’s helped a little for now, even if just by tiring me out with the outpourings I don’t seem to have much control over! 

Yes, I’ve been naive way too many times to justify the lack of learning!

That reminds me that my dad worked briefly in a bookies as a young man and some guy came in to put a bet on a horse, uttering the legend ‘I’ll put a tenner (or sixties equivalent) on Hypno the Rapist’

Sorry to hear you’re having a bad day. I do hope your session went well x

I'm really sorry to hear that. Sending you lots of solidarity. I hope the session goes well tonight. It sounds like you are taking all the right steps to take care of yourself- it's great that you took annual leave- I think time to recuperate and rest and to just step back can do a lot of good and healing- just give yourself time to adjust to it- I don't know about you but when I am super burnt-out, I feel worse initially when I finally get a break- I seem to utterly collapse and I just get a lot of feelings of guilt and feel lost and purposeless. That then often makes me not want to take a break and force myself back into work too early until ultimately it results in utter collapse when I am forced to take a break. Not sure if any of this sounds familiar, but if it does happen to you just give yourself the time to rest and recover and trust that it will get better with time. How long will you be able to take off? Hope you can get all the time you need- don't try to rush recuperating. I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with betrayals too... people can be so cruel. You are not on your own. We are all here for you! 

I really hope you're ok right now. I've been through difficult times and know how hard and dark a time it can be and the feelings they cause.

I want you to know you can and will get through this. We are all here for you, every step of the way. 

I hope you have got rest today and that tomorrow will be a better and brighter day for you. 

Hugs xxx

Yes I agree. 

Shardovan said:

The world is laughing at me

The world is an idiot.

I've written to you, but I'd much rather that you'd be here amongst us; we all do. x

I dread to think what someone who didn't know me well would think if they were to step inside my home and have a good look around. 

Yes, one can learn a lot about a person just by looking at their possessions, how things are arranged, etc. Whilst I'm not one to go snooping in drawers and the like on the rare occasions I'm in other people's homes - well, not unless there is some kind of emergency and there is a justifiable reason to - I do like having a nosey at what is in open view... Books, CDs, DVDs, etc.

Your plan sounds most excellent. One might be inclined to wonder if you had played a part in the psychology degree your daughter is currently doing.  A case of, "It would be really handy to have a psychologist in the family. I wonder if my daughter's ever considered a career as a psychologist!" 

If you want to direct message me, feel free. Uncomfortable mental states is one of the few things I do actually have experience of...

Seconded.