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coping with loneliness?

gabriel :)

my life is very lonely since i left school when i was 16 (im now 20). i dont talk to anyone other than my mum and some online friends who i cant connect with emotionally because ive never met them (they live in america). being unable to go out by myself and go to a job or college/university has made it hard for me. how do i learn to deal with the fact that this is how it is for me? are there other people in similar situations?

  • hello Gabriel, yeah, like others who have replied, i was like that for years too, and still can be, im currently 39.

    lived a very isolated, sheltered, lonely existence most my life, "hermit" would apply to how i sometimes wish i could live.

    but, current life circumstances have kind of forced me out of that a bit, its not ideal for me, but, im trying to build a new life for myself.

    just dont give up too early in life like i did, because i really do regret that now, and well, im not saying the "live life to the full" crap, cos that is a load of crap, but accept some things about yourself, but also challenge others. very vague i know.

  • i was like that, i stayed in my parents house... well i still live in my parents house at 32 lmao
    but i pretty much didnt have any contact or friends, until around when i was 24 or 25 or something i took up kung fu which got me a bit of associate contacts... still lonely, but then that loneliness and depression is what eventually pushed me to get a job. it was the push, the fuel i needed to actually normalise and get on as it pretty much forced me to get a job, not for money, but for being around people and want of at least the illusion of those people being my friends. it was a good thing, i guess depression on this issue inevitably leads to your body naturally pushing itself out there in the work force to get social contact your mind probably needs.

    you can probably still go another 10 years in solitude, as i could, but then you will break, and when you do you will get a job one day without caring about whether you can do it or whether youd like it or not, its probably a mental break when i think on it, as it was totally against my character and opinion and feeling on work too but yet i still got forced to by my mind and depression on lonliness.... i think it was a good reaction, a good choice, i feel attached to my colleagues somewhat and also have good income and bank to make me feel more secure about my future.

    your mind will make you feel bad on things to try push you into things that will fix it... even if you say you cant work, your mind will push you into work due to your loneliness and depressed state and you wont be able to fight against it, youd just do it, your mind would take over to self fix it if you fail to do so. although youd still be anxious and unsure about it all.

  • I was in a similar situation, today, where a former neighbour - visiting from the States - was talking to a man - who worked for my Grandfather whenever he was younger - and I didn't know the other man from Adam. (that man is now a Millionaire)

    I never truly connected with my community, for so long, and I hid - in my room - as a child and young man.