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Guilt and work

Weazelbeast

Put bluntly im struggling to cope. I am told its ok not to work but cant get past the guilt. People say its ok and to chill but i feel like ive wasted my life. My family say they love me and to be happy but i cant seem to accept not having lives the obligations of adulthood. Anyone here not work but is supported or partner to someone with asd who doesnt...how is it

Parents

  • I am in the exactly same situation.  Not worked for the last 10 years but have been raising my two youngest.  The guilt has eaten me up that much that i think it has contributed to one of the reasons i spilt from my partner this year!!! I am now a single parent, living of benefits but slowly looking into doing some volunteer work.  I would LOVE to go back to work and the thought of it scares me to death but i am going to give it one last try.  If it affects my health then i am going to give up and have to accept i cannot work in a main stream job.  

    I had my first job when i was 17 - that lasted 3 months.  I then had my first child, went to college and got my next job, which lasted 4 years and was probably one of my best jobs but in this i felt i was an imposter and somehow managed to hold it down, pretending i knew what i was doing!!! i eventually left because of my mental health but being honest i left because the lady i was working with was reducing her hours and i had the chanced to go full time.  the thought of this freaked me out (i always went to her when i was struggling with work)  so the thought of more responsibility freaked me out and i left!!!

    the next 4 years i had 3 more jobs, each one getting worse and draining me but all of this pre diagnosis of Autism

    I got my diagnosis last year and i am still having to deal with my mental health

    sorry if i have gone off track but please think of yourself and if working is not an option then fight the guilt.  We have not asked for this, it does not matter what others think.  We do grow in a society where it is frowned upon to not be working but work is not the be all or end all.  One of my therapists asked me to challenge this thought as even they said work is not everything.

    Go with what your gut says and try and be kind on yourself.  Only YOU know what your limits are and if working affects your health then do something else.  we only get one life 

    IT is OK not to work, try and ignore the thoughts you think others have about you - take it from me the guilt will eat you up!!!

  • in reply to Dawn

    You have society recognised reason for not working, your raising minions.

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