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Guilt and work

Weazelbeast

Put bluntly im struggling to cope. I am told its ok not to work but cant get past the guilt. People say its ok and to chill but i feel like ive wasted my life. My family say they love me and to be happy but i cant seem to accept not having lives the obligations of adulthood. Anyone here not work but is supported or partner to someone with asd who doesnt...how is it

Parents

  • I always have worked, but I understand the need to be useful to feel you count. Kind of why I picked the careers I did.

    There is no need for guilt. We live in a society that materially rewards only some skill sets a d often misses that which is truely valuable. 

    Your life is not wasted. We can all have some positive impact somewhere. Why not think less in terms of work, but it terms of your potential contribution and do what you can. A hobby could turn into a way to help in a small way. For instance, gardening to help a neighbour or knitting to make premature baby clothes for a local maternity unit. Think through what you enjoy, think how it could help you or someone else and let society worry about the rest. Not everyone was built to fit our cut throat economy, but some talents, whilst not marketable, are worth more than gold.

  • in reply to Dawn

    Hobbies are for those with money and space. You need a job to pursue most things. Animation or digital art often requires an iPad. Art require art supplies. Cooking requires ingredients and access to a kitchen. 

    your limited before you have chance. 

  • in reply to Blue

    It’s definitely true that many hobbies require some money and a suitable environment. There are a few though that are very low budget. Writing and drawing are relatively affordable. When we first moved to a place where we had a garden we got plants from all over the place - it’s surprising what you can find. We even dug up small tree saplings from woodlands. When it comes to cooking you can do a lot with basic fresh ingredients from markets, or yellow stickered items from the supermarket. My husband even made furniture from salvaged wood - things from skips and old pallets. Of course it does cost some money to do these things (DIY stuff can be horribly expensive) but there’s usually something. I agree though- financial disadvantage impacts so much on these aspects of life. That’s why we need a fairer benefits system that is more generous and less…..difficult to navigate (I’m being polite). People with disabilities deserve a decent quality of life - the current benefits system makes achieving that incredibly difficult. 

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  • in reply to Blue

    It’s definitely true that many hobbies require some money and a suitable environment. There are a few though that are very low budget. Writing and drawing are relatively affordable. When we first moved to a place where we had a garden we got plants from all over the place - it’s surprising what you can find. We even dug up small tree saplings from woodlands. When it comes to cooking you can do a lot with basic fresh ingredients from markets, or yellow stickered items from the supermarket. My husband even made furniture from salvaged wood - things from skips and old pallets. Of course it does cost some money to do these things (DIY stuff can be horribly expensive) but there’s usually something. I agree though- financial disadvantage impacts so much on these aspects of life. That’s why we need a fairer benefits system that is more generous and less…..difficult to navigate (I’m being polite). People with disabilities deserve a decent quality of life - the current benefits system makes achieving that incredibly difficult. 

Children