Published on 12, July, 2020
Put bluntly im struggling to cope. I am told its ok not to work but cant get past the guilt. People say its ok and to chill but i feel like ive wasted my life. My family say they love me and to be happy but i cant seem to accept not having lives the obligations of adulthood. Anyone here not work but is supported or partner to someone with asd who doesnt...how is it
I always have worked, but I understand the need to be useful to feel you count. Kind of why I picked the careers I did.
There is no need for guilt. We live in a society that materially rewards only some skill sets a d often misses that which is truely valuable.
Your life is not wasted. We can all have some positive impact somewhere. Why not think less in terms of work, but it terms of your potential contribution and do what you can. A hobby could turn into a way to help in a small way. For instance, gardening to help a neighbour or knitting to make premature baby clothes for a local maternity unit. Think through what you enjoy, think how it could help you or someone else and let society worry about the rest. Not everyone was built to fit our cut throat economy, but some talents, whilst not marketable, are worth more than gold.
Thats the problem its almost like i dont know how to think...like im stuck and cant think my way out...then rthe anxiety hits
My mind feels incredibly rigid...likr even changing thought patterns causes me alot of anxiety....i feel mentally locked and cant seem to do anything to break it...its how ive been most of my life...thinking does not seem to come naturally or when it does it gets shut downm....im a nervous wreck
Dysphoria seems to fit. Its like everytime i do anything i
That’s interesting Blue. It makes me wonder if my son might have ADHD. Anything I suggest to him as a way out of his current ‘frozen’ and withdrawn state of mind at the moment is met with a distinct ‘no’ - it’s as if he can’t contemplate taking anyone on at the moment - no even the lowest ‘demand’ activity. Even things he used to enjoy.
Are you aware, that what you have been describing is really common for those on the spectrum with demand avoidance tendencies and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. If you also happen to have dyspraxia and dyslexia and everything you have being say relates to the exact struggles i have been experiencing for most my adulthood and early teens.
Is it fear or rejection sensitive dysphoria ?
Its like my brain comes up against something minor a chore and ill think why did i not do this in life. Why cant i summon the pacè of others. I dont even do fun things. Its like i wanted life without the rest. It has me so anxious cause i will tell myself the only reason ice not done things is fear. Then it really hits home cause i get sure i can do it all but then it opens me to a world where so many people already steuggle so im in a maze of am i that different or did i just screw life up by not beinf serious
Would you say it like thought paralysis or hyperfixation on a traumatic experience or a combination of both ?
Is it like you can't think of anything else and it messes with your ability to do other tasks, When you do want to do other tasks but simple your brain will not let you concentrate on anything new and when you do your brain scrambles the information up so you end up messing up ?