Ah, Dave.  I'm sorry you feel like that.  Don't you ever look back over life and see what you have achieved?  Mistakes we have all made, and faults we all have, just because we are human, but we've all achieved stuff and have great qualities too.  Sometimes remarkable stuff, especially given the barriers of autism.  Actually since my diagnosis, I look at some things and think - 'blimey, I did that anyway?  Go me!'

Would counting your achievements and positive impacts on humanity and the planet work better than 'positive affirmations' of the type: "I am + adjective'?  Just a thought...

I totally get the "logical answer" bit though.  I have been pushed there too by my body/medical phobias.  Life the other side of the veil has no doctors and has no body to torture me.  There I will finally be completely free and completely me.  I'd be such a happy little Aspie if I could live without a body. Spirit side is just "logical" and anticipated as a "happy thought".  Whenever the medical profession want to do anything to me it is a fight to find the will to remain on this side for a while longer. 

I'm wondering how prevalent the 'logic' component is for us.  Maybe it's the logic behind the ideation that most professionals can't grab a hold of or understand for us.  Is it always logic driven?  Dunno, just musing.

I was never really aware of how I processed emotions until I read about AS. I can be a very emotional person and feel them very strongly. It seems im either at 0 ot 100 and i only really know what it is when its getting near to 100. I can be a bit like a sponge with those close to me and 2 friends have commented on this. I have to be careful not  to get sucked in by other people's negative emotions.

I did read on one autism website how we can be prone to mirroring others' emotions. My partner said this was quite true of me. But on the one hand I can be very emotional, on the other,  things which seem to set an emotional response in others I don't seem to get. I often think others are making a fuss over nothing. I also think my recognising in others and how to handle it has got better over the years as ive learned from others' responses towards me when I've had a problem (eg from the other women at work)

In the past I've recognised that I used to cry as a way to release emotions which I didn't really understand properly.

I don't think I feel happiness a great deal but do feel contented and I think that's more realistic with life anyway.

I do think my default negative emotion is anxiety and probably my MO. ...it might be other things masquerading as anxiety but I think AS people are more prone to getting anxiety from things other people wouldn't get or for different reasons. Even thinking about emotions confuses me because is it a thought or physical response or both? It is confusing. 

Are you having a bad day? I'm not sure if what I have stated was offensive to you, but it's not intended to be. I'm not God, just a person who took the time and energy to think about your questions and reply to your post, because I found the questions interesting, but I might have misunderstood what the question was asking about. If the question stated what I personally thought about it, I would reply with my personal thoughts and experiences, but it asked what "people" have received, and I have to say I don't know what people have received, because I'm not them. Maybe I took the question too literally, which happens to me sometimes. In any case, I enjoyed responding to the questions, but if what I have said has upset you just tell me and I'll try to clear things up. I didn't set out to ruin your day. I hope you continue sharing questions like this, but if you don't want me replying to your questions anymore just say so, and I'll just stop replying to them, if that helps you. Anyways, have a good day. 

1) Most beneficial support:  Quite a lot, but none of it came from the MH services.  Spiritual healing is great.  Hypnotherapy helps on occasion.  My friends - far more use than services because they ACTUALLY listen and also share their problems - it's always useful to hear about other people's experience. What saved me was working out I was autistic and then my diagnosis - reading is now very helpful and I've a ton more self-help ideas from there.

2) Self-compassion - I don't really have a self-esteem problem mercifully, but, you know, I have never really understood that phrase.  Compassion, for me, is a response to someone else's difficulties; a motivation to want to do something to alleviate their distress.  How can one have compassion for oneself?  For myself, I merely ask myself whether I did the correct things in response to situations, or not.  If I did that's fine - business as usual.  If I didn't then I need to do something about that and correct my error.  Any uncomfortable feeling that might bring will go away when the problem is solved - simple.

I always thought I knew exactly what I was feeling the same way anybody knows what they are feeling...they think about the situation and decide what the appropriate emotion is and feel that...sort of, or else they feel it and then think about the situation and then decide what it might be reasonable to call it.

Prior to working out I was autistic, I had no clue there was any other way.  

There are some emotions I used to feel quite intensely before the menopause; love, compassion, sadness.  Now they are there and still profound but seem a bit muted somehow.  The only thing I feel with any intensity is fear.  There are some emotions I don't think I've ever had; hatred for a person, jealousy, vengefulness - I don't understand those at all.  They serve no purpose and no situation makes them logical.

Same goes for other people's emotions.  I think through the situation and what I know of them as a person.  I can then see that something must be making them happy, making them sad etc and offer support accordingly.  Again, I had no clue I was any different to anyone else in that regard.  

It's all a bit of a mystery to me, how NTs go about this stuff.

In the end, for all my assessment says I have alexithymia, I think I do know what I feel very well, but I think that there must be a time lag of perhaps moments or minutes behind NTs in getting there, since working it out intellectually must take longer than somehow magically being able to tell from some physical response.  I really don't get many physical clues at all. I can't tell if I am about to cry, for instance, much before I actually cry.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia said:

Why would I have sensitive information that pertains to that?

yes why would you?, your not a God.

I know we are all different and need different needs but i just would like to have known what other peoples experiences has helped thats all.

Pigtail said:

For instance when I was diagnosed with breast cancer my team said it would give me something else to think about other than my mental health.

thats the advice they gave you. WOW that makes me feel angry for you, how the *** can that help anyone are they for real!

Nope. I've no idea how to identify any emotions, don't get it at all.

i recently completed an Emotional First Aid course, not sure if it is helpng me but it can be so confusing at times. i always get my emotions mixed up with eachother which can be frustratiing 

Chris said:

i have started to identify my emotions to myself which is very tricky as i keep thinking every emotions i have is anxiety

I can really resonate with this. It's only since I had CBT that I realised some emotions may not be anxiety but they give me the same feeling. I think I work stuff out a lot in my head rather than using emotions. This might be one of the reasons why I over think as much as I do.

Your cats are beautiful.

i did mine on the laptop, saved the pictures to paint (.PNG) then it let me insert them here 

i have not seen that thought record before in that laylout, i tried to make my own but the one you suggested seems alot more better so i will for sure check it out, Thank you 

Lovely cats. I would send mine, but I don’t know how to  

I don’t have a routine anymore. I lost many of them after burnout in 2020…I also have a bit of runners issue at the moment, so I run once a week if that. And my god, the motivation I have is zero. But the positive results are almost immediate.

I try and do something else each day to just ‘move’. Whether it’s a short walk, or a 10 minute exercise program or simple stretches for flexibility.

We are naturally hard on ourselves, and don’t seem to notice our achievements. A diary is a good idea. I might actually try myself.

Well, to answer your last question, I tend to say the emotion I think I’m feeling, like ‘angry’, and the give it a percentage. I then look at what effect its having on my body. Have you seen a thought record before? I’m sure there must be some online. 
You write the situation or thought.

Then what emotions you have.

Then you write your automatic thought.

Then the evidence that supports the thought.

Evidence that does not support the thought.

An alternative balanced thought.

And you final emotion on that balance thought.

They are extremely hard to fill out, but they do actually help you look at things differently.

these are my cats and have been helping me so much

1. yes i think that would help me alot too, learn scripts and pointers to say to myself to stop these bad thinking habits i have gathered throughout life. I am currently on a waiting list for Dialectical behaviour therapy and i am looking forward to the change it will have on my life. i still need to work on my downtime so i dont have burnouts. but i sure will remember to try and be my best support

Do you have a routine time and day where you go to the gym or is it when ever you feel like it?

I do need to go to the gym but my motivation is just not there YET 

2. i will look at my basic positives and start from these and keep reminding myself these as i know they do get lost, i think i will start a positive diary to help me keep these positives.

3. what types of questions do you say to your self would it be just things like "what emotions do i feel now" or "what made me feel like this"

Thank you for your positives

1. So far, I think the CBT U had many years ago for (misdiagnosed) social anxiety was helpful in a way. It gave me new ways to deal with social situations. I learnt some scripts and pointers to say, and I was able to realise some unhelpful thought behaviours I had.

Secondly, I had Intensive CBT last years and the thought records where quite helpful. They help you identify emotions (with help, as I can’t recognise them). And you learn new ways of looking at your reactions to situations you find difficult.

I am my own best support. I give myself plenty of downtime, and know that the gym helps my mental state.

2. I’ve been fixated on what I can’t do until the present day. I am learning that I am actually doing things I find difficult, and I have a lot of positives. It’s a case of reminding myself from time to time. I look at the most basic thing that I’ve achieved, and recognise it. It’s not easy. I don’t always remember, but once in a while is better than not at all.

3. Maybe a therapy can help you with this. Many people with ASD also have Alexithymia, so identifying emotions is hard without help. I only realised a few months ago I had it. It does explain why I have ti ask myself loads of questions ti ascertain how I feel at any point!

its hard for me to believe them myself too, but i think for myself thats it helps alot more if someone else says it to me, i feel it feels alot more worthy coming from someone else. i like to go to a place for emotional support and i tell them all my work on recovery and they help with positvie affirmations towards me such as i am strong etc. it does help at that moment of time

So do you use self compassion or not, or are you just going to having an overall thought of what everyone is going through??

I have been feeling hopeless and worthless and so suicide seems the logical answer. I now feel an expert on suicidal ideation as I suspect are many autistic people. I am trying to set up a research program to input our "lived experience", but can't seem to get support form those with the authority. I feel our comments to these issues may help whereas psychologists and psychiatrists usually can't

At present I am trying positive affirmations , but find I don't quite believe them!

Whats the most beneficial support that people have received for their mental health?

I don't know what the most beneficial support people received for mental health, because that's a personal thing between people and their mental health provider. Why would I have sensitive information that pertains to that?

What self compassion do people say to themselves to help with self-esteem?

If people had self compassion, they would not need help with their self esteem. I think that people bully themselves a lot in their mind (in other words, they are highly critical and judgemental of themselves). And it depends on whether or not that person is motivated by criticism. I mean some people grow when they are criticised and rise up to the challenge, while others shrink into depression. I think that people who fall into anxiety and depression when dealing with criticism should remember what they can do, and if they can't do something, it does not mean they'll never be able to do it, it just takes time. 

Has anyone actually started to identify their own emotions within themselves, and has this helped with regulating emotions or helps with not suppressing emotions?

I think that if people become aware of their own emotions during a stressful situation, it would be good because it'll minimize conflict. But if someone has a fear or trauma, and they have suppressed emotions as a way of coping with it, then trying to identify those emotions might be difficult, and facing their trauma might just re-traumatize them. I guess it's important to allow people to face things when they feel ready to face them, and that they make sure that they have the right supports in place for facing them. 

Whats the most beneficial support that people have received for their mental health?

Hardly any to be honest. Almost feels like support for mental health doesn't even exist at times. I have support, apparently, but they're very unhelpful and often make me feel worse. For instance when I was diagnosed with breast cancer my team said it would give me something else to think about other than my mental health. Not exactly helpful. Rather than finding what's actually up with my mental health they think it's just autism. So frustrating.

What self compassion do people say to themselves to help with self-esteem?

I struggle with this, but I do try because apparently it is meant to be good for you. Sometimes I'll say things like well done you did great today and that can make me feel a little better. But generally I don't have anything nice to say to myself.

Has anyone actually started to identify their own emotions within themselves, and has this helped with regulating emotions or helps with not suppressing emotions?

Nope. I've no idea how to identify any emotions, don't get it at all.