Death

It's completely normal to have a range of emotions, and everyone processes grief differently. Feeling numb or not experiencing sadness right away is not uncommon. Grief can manifest in various ways and doesn't follow a specific timeline.

Snowflake, the tone of your post indicates that you cared for her a great deal. Given what you describe of your relationship, it is very likely that she would have known this. There is nothing wrong with your response. There will be difficulties ahead; break down the problems into smaller problems and tackle them one by one; others in this thread have given you good advice about agencies to request help from. I suspect that you are more resilient and resourceful than you currently imagine.

I'm so sorry for your loss sf

First time death experiences are really hard. I had it with my proper dad and I didn't express my emotions and how I felt until way later on

Your going through the normal motions and everything your feeling is right

Focus on now and don't worry about tomorrow your doing great so far

Do you have brothers or sisters

A support team?

It's important to reach out to those around you so they can help you through this difficult time

Be sure to keep posting here so we can help give you support. Clearly lots of caring people here who are looking out for you

Snow said:

My mum has sadly died.

Oh bless you Snowflake and you have my heartfelt condolences.

Snow said:

I've not experienced death before so I'm not really understanding what's happening. I feel bad because I don't feel sad, I don't feel anything. Is that normal? She was my mum and I loved her but I'm not feeling anything since she went.

Not feeling anything is normal when people close to us die, very much so yes ~ usually due to shock and feeling as such emotionally stunned.

Snow said:

I'm worried about how I'm going to continue on without mum.

Well that is in every way understandable and very reasonable at this very difficult time for you.

Snow said:

She did everything for me despite the fact I'm in my 20s.

We all develop in our own way and in our own time, and that is to be expected and respected.

Snow said:

I can't communicate very well.

You write very well indeed though.

Snow said:

I don't know how to do money, no job, can't cook, can't drive. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'm all on my own and I'm scared.

Well you may be alone physically but in terms of written words the community here will keep you company.

In terms of dealing with money, cooking and transport etcetera ~ I think it probably best to write an email much like you have here very well to your Doctor and he or she will get in touch with the Adult Social Care team at your local County Council for you, and they will see that your support needs are assessed and provided for.

Again you have my heartfelt condolences, and bless you every step of the way.

D.T.

I am so sorry for your loss. 

Grief, you know, is a funny thing for everyone, ASD or not. Some people can just go numb and feel nothing, especially if it's a shock, others apparently irrationally can feel angry or resentful that their loved one has left. Others find their emotions are delayed. They think they are ok, then a couple of months later the loss hits them. Please don't feel bad about anything you feel, because whatever you feel is normal for you and it makes no comment of the depth of love you have. There are no rules about what you should or shouldn't feel. Everyone has to process grief in their own way. If you feel you are struggling, talk to your GP. Medicating grief isn't a good idea, but there are organisations which offer specialist bereavement counselling, maybe your GP can find you some which is autism informed and work with your communication difficulties.

Meanwhile, sounds like you need some practical support now. Talk to your GP and they should get you pointed in the right direction, probably through a social prescriber, who can make the links to social services, autism charities etc, to help you build up your skill set and guide you through the practical stuff.

So sorry for your loss Snowflake.  I didn't know what to feel when my mum died and I am VERY emotional normally.    Having ASD often means having a very difficult relationship with our emotions so I would say yes it is normal to not feel anything.

As Ninjamelody says, take it slowly, process and deal with the problems one at a time.

I'm sorry for the difficult time you are going through, I never experienced family loss yet. For now I think it's best to process your feelings first, and then tackle one problem at a time.