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Death

Snow

My mum has sadly died. I've not experienced death before so I'm not really understanding what's happening. I feel bad because I don't feel sad, I don't feel anything. Is that normal? She was my mum and I loved her but I'm not feeling anything since she went.

I'm worried about how I'm going to continue on without mum. She did everything for me despite the fact I'm in my 20s. I can't communicate very well. I don't know how to do money, no job, can't cook, can't drive. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'm all on my own and I'm scared.

Parents

  • I am so sorry for your loss. 

    Grief, you know, is a funny thing for everyone, ASD or not. Some people can just go numb and feel nothing, especially if it's a shock, others apparently irrationally can feel angry or resentful that their loved one has left. Others find their emotions are delayed. They think they are ok, then a couple of months later the loss hits them. Please don't feel bad about anything you feel, because whatever you feel is normal for you and it makes no comment of the depth of love you have. There are no rules about what you should or shouldn't feel. Everyone has to process grief in their own way. If you feel you are struggling, talk to your GP. Medicating grief isn't a good idea, but there are organisations which offer specialist bereavement counselling, maybe your GP can find you some which is autism informed and work with your communication difficulties.

    Meanwhile, sounds like you need some practical support now. Talk to your GP and they should get you pointed in the right direction, probably through a social prescriber, who can make the links to social services, autism charities etc, to help you build up your skill set and guide you through the practical stuff.

Reply

  • I am so sorry for your loss. 

    Grief, you know, is a funny thing for everyone, ASD or not. Some people can just go numb and feel nothing, especially if it's a shock, others apparently irrationally can feel angry or resentful that their loved one has left. Others find their emotions are delayed. They think they are ok, then a couple of months later the loss hits them. Please don't feel bad about anything you feel, because whatever you feel is normal for you and it makes no comment of the depth of love you have. There are no rules about what you should or shouldn't feel. Everyone has to process grief in their own way. If you feel you are struggling, talk to your GP. Medicating grief isn't a good idea, but there are organisations which offer specialist bereavement counselling, maybe your GP can find you some which is autism informed and work with your communication difficulties.

    Meanwhile, sounds like you need some practical support now. Talk to your GP and they should get you pointed in the right direction, probably through a social prescriber, who can make the links to social services, autism charities etc, to help you build up your skill set and guide you through the practical stuff.

Children
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