mentally exhausted interacting with other people

Hey, Auti-nauts. I've not posted for a while. I can't remember if I've ever started a thread on here. Please be gentle! I wanted to ask you all a serious question. Does anyone else gets mentally exhausted interacting with other people? 

  • I was diagnosed last year at the age of 40. I am still very much in the process of figuring everything out and trying to understand. I only recently learned about shutdowns which has been a real eye opener. As a child when I felt overwhelmed I would often shutdown to protect myself. I had no idea until recently what was happening. The best way to describe it is to imagine a tortoise going into its shell, it literally felt like I shrank down inside my own body, which then became a protective shell. My body would almost run on autopilot while I was safely tucked away inside. Almost like being in a trance. 

    As an adult I haven't experienced that for many years but I regularly need that time to shutdown and be alone, usually most days. I need time to switch off completely and kind of pretend the world doesn't exist outside my bubble. There are times that (especially when I used to be in a relationship) I would have a day out somewhere and by evening time I would be absolutely physically and emotionally exhausted. Even if I hadn't done anything strenuous but just had a relaxing day. I think that being around people and stimuli for hours at a time is what exhausts me, like my mind is always working overtime just to be sociable and responsive.

    As I said, I am still in the process of learning all of this. I think this is something a lot of autistic people experience to some degree. I am so much more comfortable and relaxed living alone and being able to have that alone time whenever I need it. 

  • I was diagnosed last year at the age of 40. I am still very much in the process of figuring everything out and trying to understand. I only recently learned about shutdowns which has been a real eye opener. As a child when I felt overwhelmed I would often shutdown to protect myself. I had no idea until recently what was happening. The best way to describe it is to imagine a tortoise going into its shell, it literally felt like I shrank down inside my own body, which then became a protective shell. My body would almost run on autopilot while I was safely tucked away inside. Almost like being in a trance. 

    As an adult I haven't experienced that for many years but I regularly need that time to shutdown and be alone, usually most days. I need time to switch off completely and kind of pretend the world doesn't exist outside my bubble. There are times that (especially when I used to be in a relationship) I would have a day out somewhere and by evening time I would be absolutely physically and emotionally exhausted. Even if I hadn't done anything strenuous but just had a relaxing day. I think that being around people and stimuli for hours at a time is what exhausts me, like my mind is always working overtime just to be sociable and responsive.

    As I said, I am still in the process of learning all of this. I think this is something a lot of autistic people experience to some degree. I am so much more comfortable and relaxed living alone and being able to have that alone time whenever I need it. 

  • Constantly.  I just limit what interaction I do during the day, luckily my job is in IT so I can go the whole day just on my home and I WTF 2-3 days a week. There's a fair amount of meetings on MS Teams which really leave me exhausted though.

    I've just disclosed to work that I'm neurodiverse - been referred to adult ASD/ADHD services from GP.

  • Caught up with two friends— married couple - over a meal tonight, in a little pizza restaurant. It was lovely to see them  but I went into my usual rambling, ultra masked survival mode. Now I’m home, exhausted, and feeling like I’ve got flu and glandular fever or something. A soothing tea and a lie down are starting to help mitigate that jittery comedown and flu like shakes. I’d complain except ot would be even weirder to me not to have this after socialising even briefly. I marvel at the majority’s immunity to these effects, which are inevitable in my case. 

  • Yes it is actual science, they just need the support to do it. I think Mars is the prime candidate. Sorry about the late reply, this darn website is so hard to follow!

  • Here, here! I'm very much in favour of home-based pottering (and piano playing). I've never tried bimbling, though, but it does sound very pleasant. The fewer people I'm required to interact with on a regular basis, the happier I am. 

  • I get mentally exhausted interacting with myself. Hey, I'm a person too! Smiley

    But yes, even when things are going well, it's exhausting. That's why I try to keep it to a minimum.

    I prefer bimbling around at home.

  • I get exhausted talking on the phone for more than 10 minutes.

  • It would be absolutely fantastic.  This is actual Science too i think. Not just Scifi. There's been some books written on the subject by Scientists. Mars colonization.  I think you can do it to most planets but some would be easier to do than others.

  • Yes. Terraforming is the only way to go isn't it. We've screwed up the Earth. We need to put half our population on another planet and try not to screw that up. Imagine that. Two planets with 4 billion population each, it should be much nicer.

  • Have you been reading about it? It's great.  I was ecstatic when i first discovered Terraforming.  I think we'll put a man on Mars this century. As for Terraforming Mars. That will happen in the future. (Assuming we survive that long as species)

  • Terraforming is such a brilliant idea!

  • They have a very limited view of what autism is tbh...

  • I'm in my own world all day.  The internet encourages that too. Just being in your own personal space rather than getting out and about.  I wonder if the internet has been a positive benefit for autistics overall?  I expect before the internet autistics would just read all day instead. I've done my fair bit of that too.

  • I'm with you on that, Paul. I give egregious people a very wide birth.

  • Hi, I was diagnosed as dyslexic, ADD and aspergers last year at the age of 48. At first it was such a relief but im finding it a struggle lately. I wish I didnt have to interact with people, i must admit when its nice people im good but the opposite will drain and put me in a bad place where its hard to let go. I will come home from work at times and crash out for 40 mins even though im on concerta, i dont think its the concerta crash as iv experienced this before i started taking the meds. Id love to just stay away from awkward people.

  • Yes!  What do they mean that autistic people have no imagination?  That is all that exists for me. 

  • Hi roguelife, I'm the same age as you and have just been diagnosed with Asperger's.

    Have you found the diagnosis has helped you much?

    Have you disclosed to everyone in your life,and have they reacted well?

    I have not told anyone yet. I'm a bit scared it will all get out of control

  • I was poor at Science academically.  I am interested though because i am fascinated by out of space and particularly Terraforming.