First timer.

It sounds like the "professionals" have been through the whole alphabet soup of co-morbidities with you...  If you are bullied, it's not surprising that you feel anxious and unworthy - and if that bullying is always from a similar source then you'll naturally associate it with a particular type or group of people.  When I first realised I was gay (in an era with more widespread homophobia than today) I felt that all or most heterosexuals - especially men - were hostile to me and I avoided them as much as possible.  But the problem with that way of thinking is that it removes the possibility for positive as well as negative experiences with the feared or disliked group.  The same is true on a broader level if one avoids socialising with everyone.  The greatest risk can be no risk.

Do you compare yourself unfavourably with other men? (I'm curious that you put "male" in inverted commas when describing yourself.)  I used to do that when I was younger, partly because I'm quite short, but I seem to have gained self-confidence and self-worth as I've aged, even though I had to give up work.

In the last six months, an unexpected responsibility has forced me to engage in a lot of official contact with various authorities and companies, and I've reached the conclusion that many people, even highly-paid professionals, are mediocre or even downright incompetent at their jobs!  Their communication skills in particular tend to be far worse than mine.  While this realisation is in some ways scary and depressing, I've found it's boosted my self-evaluation considerably.  When I was more reclusive, I suffered from the delusion that everyone else was incredibly successful and skilled at what they do...

Do you have any special interests you could pursue for more social interaction and perhaps learn to trust - or at least evaluate - other people?  If you don't feel ready for face-to-face meetings, perhaps you could cultivate internet friendships?

It sounds like the "professionals" have been through the whole alphabet soup of co-morbidities with you...  If you are bullied, it's not surprising that you feel anxious and unworthy - and if that bullying is always from a similar source then you'll naturally associate it with a particular type or group of people.  When I first realised I was gay (in an era with more widespread homophobia than today) I felt that all or most heterosexuals - especially men - were hostile to me and I avoided them as much as possible.  But the problem with that way of thinking is that it removes the possibility for positive as well as negative experiences with the feared or disliked group.  The same is true on a broader level if one avoids socialising with everyone.  The greatest risk can be no risk.

Do you compare yourself unfavourably with other men? (I'm curious that you put "male" in inverted commas when describing yourself.)  I used to do that when I was younger, partly because I'm quite short, but I seem to have gained self-confidence and self-worth as I've aged, even though I had to give up work.

In the last six months, an unexpected responsibility has forced me to engage in a lot of official contact with various authorities and companies, and I've reached the conclusion that many people, even highly-paid professionals, are mediocre or even downright incompetent at their jobs!  Their communication skills in particular tend to be far worse than mine.  While this realisation is in some ways scary and depressing, I've found it's boosted my self-evaluation considerably.  When I was more reclusive, I suffered from the delusion that everyone else was incredibly successful and skilled at what they do...

Do you have any special interests you could pursue for more social interaction and perhaps learn to trust - or at least evaluate - other people?  If you don't feel ready for face-to-face meetings, perhaps you could cultivate internet friendships?