Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello there, I am Ryan, I am 29 years old and was diagnosed with AS at 11. From the outside a lot of people see that I have adapted well to the NT world however it is a constant struggle. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new area after 5 years in my previous job. Although the first few years of that job was a struggle, I got to know the people and reached the point where I worked well with them all. Unfortunately I now have to start again and it is really challenging. I rely alot on the local community here which is very tight knit to keep me grounded, but it is still a challenge to walk the rope. I didn't realise how much people who knew me where I used to live made allowances, something which I now realise a lot of people are unwilling to do. There have been days when I have regretted the move, however on the whole I am happier and feel more accepted in the small rural community I find myself in now than the more cosmopolitan city I came from originally. (NB My definition of cosmopolitan is not the same as NTs, I come from [removed by mod] originally and now live in [removed by mod], I know NTs don't usually regard [removed by mod] as cosmopolitan but it was busy enough for me, probably the largest place I could comfortably live).
I recently started going to church and have really embraced the Christian life. I know this engenders a lot of debate and some claim Aspergers, with their more logical brains, are less likely to be religious. However I take great comfort in knowing He is guiding my life. The athiests or agnostics among you perhaps may see this as an extension of me prefering hierarchies and rigid organisations that I take comfort in the religious life. Especially as it gives order and meaning to what otherwise seems disordered and meaningless. I respect the right of others not to believe, or to believe as they feel fit though. For this reason I did not end up at the Pentecostal church, even though I found them very pleasant Christian people, as personally I found the overt displays of emotion uncomfortable. I instead prefer the more traditional Baptists who focus more on what the Bible says with it's ordered service of hymns, prayers and sermons.
Atypically for Aspergers I refused to stay in my house and have also started learning Welsh and volunteering for St John Ambulance in the evenings and weekends. I also enjoy singing and, although difficult this year as it clashes with SJA, I do like to be part of a choir. Needless to say outside of work, in 'social' settings where I am comfortable the people I meet don't really notice the AS, however in work and other settings which I am not so comfortable it is more apparent. Even in the comfortable settings I do have moments where I have to fight against my own 'flight' mode, and sometimes feel relief when an event is over. This is not because I haven't enjoyed the event, but playing up to the NTs so as to fit in can be exhausting! I don't know if anyone else with AS agrees with me here?
Well enough of me, I'd love to get to know as many of you as possible and to connect with others, especially others with AS, who live in the same area. Perhaps we could band together and meet up once or twice if there are a few of us in [removed by mod]? I know of one other I met in [removed by mod] who lives here so it is good to know that I am not alone.
TTFN
Ryan
Hi Ryan,
Aplogies for the delay in getting back to you. Please don't worry, you've done nothing wrong at all, I'm just trying to make sure that your privacy is protected After speaking to more senior moderators, it appears that quite a few people have signed up to the Community with their actual name so I'm waiting to here back about whether or not this is ok. In the meantime, I would keep your alias as it is for the moment and I'll get back to you when I here about this.
Hope that's ok,
Sofie Mod
thank you so much, and sorry for breaking the rules I confess to moy having read them before posting
how do you change your aliaas
Welcome to the Community! As Longman has mentioned above, it's great that you have had the confidence to get involved in volunteering opportunities in your area. Longman is right about the place names, I've had to remove the locations from your post due to Community rules concerning privacy. I would also suggest that if your username is your actual full name, it would be good to change it, again to protect your privacy.
I think you are right to try to get involved as much as you can. In mid-Wales that seems particularly important, and the SJA and choir activities are good moves.
Also it does seem to be a matter of luck whether you find people who make allowances, and elsewhere people who are pedantic about exact forms of behaviour. Mid-Wales I'd reckon is more likely to be pedantic.
The Mods may remove your place of residence. Can I say I know LW from time spent between coming in by train and the local bus service to R, but that said hardly ever been to either. I've used the Record Office at LW. You can walk from one end to the other in about five minutes.
Rural communities are always likely to be harder and we get a lot of postings in here from people remotely located trying to find any kind of support - it seems you have to conform to get anywhere, which is tough for people on the spectrum. H on the other hand may be far from cosmopolitan but you are likely to find lots of different cultures and groups and people therefore more open to slight differences.
I know others on the spectrum who do very well out of being in a local place of worship. People may try harder there to be helpful to others. Also it is a chance to get involved. Someone on another thread recently has talked about cleaning voluntarily in a church, and some level of acceptance. If you get involved in the less popular jobs - keeping the churchard tidy, emptying and filling vases for the flower arrangers, washing up after meetings, doing small repair jobs, that can get around a lot of prejudice.