Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi new here and looking at getting a diagnosis for aspergers which i am 99% sure i have, i test highly on the tests online i have done and i am struggling a lot with day to day life lately.
I have always been seen as very shy, have no friends and cant strike up conversations with people, i cant say hi to people in passing, i wait until they say hi to me, i know i am probably seen as weird, even with people i know well like my mum and husband i struggle with what to say, i can have in length conversations with people in my head but fail to do so in real life, i am having more and more meltdowns every day, noise gets to me, going to shops is a struggle, feel my mind is just whirring, i like peace and quiet but at the same time want to have friends, i get frustrated easily and take my anger out on my husband, he has said i should see about getting officially diagnosed but not sure what purpose that would have.
Only my husband knows i am on the spectrum, dont see the point in telling anyone else, not even my kids.
Have only just realised in the last year that i am on the spectrum, just thought this was just me, someone who is socially inept and weird, my son was diagnosed with autism 2 years ago and its only after reading up stuff that i realise it describes me so well.
I am in my mid thirties and have never worked, am a stay at home mum and have a lot of stress in my life and finding it harder and harder to deal with this.
Would love to hear from others out there, just feel so alone.
Random. You know what I do? I embrace my oddness. I put in piedestal and sing to it. Make a theater around it. And I just don't care about it. You know what happened? My coworkers accepted me. I don't know what you're working but I am in the care sector and all my coworkers are women. Now we even joke about it - "congratulations, you got yourself a crazy carer". My coleague towards the person I care for. I laugh about it. Before I would get upset but now I just laugh and forget about it.
Infinitypink. I have a friend who was a stay at home mum and got abused the same way. Although, she didn't have ASD. But, I know what you're going through. I can tell you two things: first, you can overcome this. In 10 years it will be a foggy memory. Second, my friend divorced this imbicile and with help from her parents enrolled and finished university. In uni she met a really good guy. So there you have it. If you obsess with the idea you can do it. If you can't by yourself it doesn't mean you should. You can always seek help. And as long as you do something about it you will get somewhere. I should know - 8 years ago I was smoking hash on rooftops cursing at the system, and now I am studying abroad, working as a carer.
Hi,
Oh, I need to retract my comments about your Husband, apologies I have misread your post. I am male, and have hidden my aspergers fairly well, altough since my diagnosis I have let my natural side show more, and am wary people are starting to notice that I am "odd"
You said I can't understand why others haven't noticed your asperger traits, maybe they have. I have notice traits in some of my co-workers, particularly my line manager. I am sure he has aspergers, and thought he knew, but I am not so sure now. I am not sure if it is my place to tell him I have noticed asperger traits in him, I am worried he will respond very negatively. He is generally mild tempered, but I have seen at times when he gets very angry, very quickly
Random
Thanks both of you for the replies, i have felt so alone but see that reading posts on this forum that it is giving me a sense of belongness, so much relates to me, the isolation, having no friends in real life and online, i have tried to have online friends but i always seem to say the wrong things or go too far with what im saying.
I am struggling in my marraige, he is an compulsive liar, he has emotionally been abusive towards me, the latter he has fixed, he is seeing a therapist for help with the lies, it has broken me, i struggle every day and i am not coping at all.
Yes i think i do need this diagnosed, fed up of the frustration, the anger and need help with this, just worried he will use the diagnosis against me in the future, i know i have to start concentrating on me now.
Yes i hide it well but in other ways i feel why cant others see i am on the spectrum, the way i barely speak to people they must know, just want to be happy again
Hello InfinityPink
Sounds like it is probably worth getting a formal diagnosis. As you might have found out in your research, us ladies hide our conditon quite well, and develop coping strategies. You aren't alone - you have a load of friends that you've just not met yet, on here!
Hi, Welcome to the forum, I have similar problems, finding genral life getting harder. I have been recently diagnosed at 49. Your very lucky to have an understanding husband, I always struggled building any close relationship and on my own, life is very difficult these days being single.
I was not sure about getting diagnosed, I thought it would help getting some talking therapy which helped me over a year ago. I am still fighting to get some help.
The diagnosis has helped me realise how my condition is driving my anxiety, depression and other difficulties. Starting to join some of the dots together, I think it gives me a better base to move forward.