Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
Just joined today.
I'm a 32 year old mum to five kids, my eldest was diagnosed with ASD last year. It didn't really enter my head that I could possibly be on the spectrum myself until very recently. I'm pretty sure his dad had ASD because they are so alike, so it didn't really cross my mind to look at myself. I have a long history of mental health problems, but aside from being misdiagnosed with bipolar and BPD, it's never been got to the bottom of. I've gone through some fairly distressing stuff over the years, so some of my problems could easily be explained away with that, but there are other things that I feel indicate ASD. To be honest, if my son hadn't been diagnosed it probably would never have crossed my mind. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I'm pretty sure I see thing in my dad as well. My two youngest children show some signs but it's hard to tell because they're so young and I wouldn't want to put what could possibly be simply slow to catch up, down to anything else.
Anyway, I've asked to be assessed because I feel I need to know either way. I also think that if I'm right, then perhaps I could be given the right kind of help. I want normal things like a job for instance, but I am SO scared to interact with people for any real length of time, or be out of my safe zone, anxiety has just stopped me and I'm fed up with it. It would be nice to feel like I can have friends as well. I don't keep friends, never have done. Didn't have any as a kid, and it didn't bother me as I was content with my own company. But it bothers me now because I see people having friends and it looks nice. I'd like to feel ok to commit to people. Which sounds ridiculous when I'm married and have children! But getting close and committing to people doesn't come naturally to me. Kind of worried my husband will look at me differently if we find that I do in fact have ASD. That really worries me actually, and is the only thing that puts me off. Otherwise, I think it would be beneficial.
I have rambled on enough. I hope everyone is well :)
Hello MoonandStars, and welcome! I hope you're finding it useful to be on here.
I too have a 'long history of mental health problems' and looking back, I can see that they are a direct result of the lack of understanding, by and of ourselves, and the mistreatment we get as a result. We are forced to isolate ourselves as much as possible from a world that will inevitably hurt us if we don't. On here, we make our own world where we all understand each other and the difficulties we face, and I've never felt so 'amongst friends' in my entire life.
I hope you find some acceptance here and are comforted by it.
I'm trying to get some more women involved in a discussion of the difficulties with female diagnosis, and I would like to ask you if you would look at the thread Involvement of family-Adult diagnosis. There might be something there that helps you understand yourself, you might see your own experience in the discussion, and you will definitely have something to contribute, BUT, please never feel that you HAVE to, you don't have to do anything that you aren't comfortable with.
If it is right for you, then I wish you the joy of a positive diagnosis - it's very empowering.
Hello,
Autism does mainly pass through the male genes as it is generally common in males, however it is not uncommon that females can sometimes have Asd's/Asperger's syndrome. I have met a few women in the past with Autism and it's literally like viewing the female version of myself, haha! (I have AS by the way)
It is good that you are awaiting an assessment as at least you will be willing to accept the person who you are.
Hope this is of any use.
Sorry, I have no idea what happened with that first post! It was exactly the same as the next one but it disappeared.
Hi
Is it the fact you don't have a formal diagnosis that there's lack of funding for help?
I'm wondering because I have an eating disorder as well, but I have had no help even though I've asked on a few occasions now. I'm pretty sure it's because I don't have a diagnosis. It doesn't seem to be taken seriously, for instance my GP sent a referral to the ED clinic and a copy was sent to the therapist I was seeing until recently, and he said I wouldn't get any help because my BMI wasn't low enough (it was well below what it should've been, but apparently not low enough). Of course I took that to mean I was 'too fat for help'. But I think if I was actually diagnosed then it would be a different story. I had the whole 'not enough funding to help you, you're not dying so we can't afford it' kind of story. That's what it seemed to amount to, anyway.
Do you have a psychiatrist? If so, have you spoken to them about it? If not, I think that's what you need to do. There are some places you can self-refer to for assessment, I think you can look them up on here. You could also contact Mind, they don't seem to cover ASD but it may be worth contacting them to see if they know of anything.
I called my GP surgery and asked the receptionist if it was necessary I spoke to the doctor face to face to ask for a referral for assessment (I avoid that place where I can), they left a message for her and called me to say she referred me, so I'm waiting to hear from someone. But I also have an appointment with a new psychiatrist in two weeks, so I'm going to talk to him about it too I think. At least then if anything goes wrong with the GPs referral, I've covered it with the psychiatrist as well. I don't know what happens next, who will contact me or how long the whole process takes, and I'd not like to go y how long it took for my son as I kept on at various people since infants and he was eventually diagnosed last year at the age of 12, almost 13. Took way too long in my opinion! He needed support sooner, so did I. It sucks that sometimes it takes that long.
I hope you get somewhere soon.
Hi there! Also new here. I'm in a similar position. I'm 25 and undiagnosed but trying desperately to get that formal diagnosis. I'm told it's 100% worth it and opens up many support options, but so far it's been hell. I've had almost no help at all. My GP has begged and pleaded for funding to help with my autism, but it's refused every time for lack of funds. I feel like getting help as an adult is near impossible and extremely stressful.
I wish you the best of luck on your quest for a diagnosis.