Just diagnosed at 57

Also managed to get diagnoswd at 57 which did make sense looking back. You wonder whether things could have been different if anything had been picked up or known before. Then of course there's the 'what now' phase, having coordinated your life thus far, how can you now make things better for yourself....

Thank you for posting this. I was about the same age when I got my diagnosis, it was a bit of a surprise to me to be honest, although people that knew me didn't seem shocked at all! It has taken me a couple of years to get my head around it. One thing I had to come to terms with was that I think I had quite a negative view of autism I think (which was mostly generational), but the obvious thing to remember is that you're the same person you were prior to the diagnosis. Now you just know why you like train timetables so much :) 

Looking at other posts here and thinking about my own experience, a late diagnosis can sometimes feel like a mixed blessing. But one practical and useful thing about it was that it enabled me to find tools that helped me to operate better in a mostly neurotypical world. Just knowing that I had to manage my social battery, coming up with a list of things that tired me out and conversely charged me up was really useful. (You'll know all about these already by the sounds of things but remember to apply them to yourself).

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to get used to the idea. Remember how kind you were to your kids when they were diagnosed and extend the same grace to yourself. You will get through this and process it, but take it a day at a time. 

Ha!  I don't mind being put in a box; I object to the wrong box, though!  Mine should be luxurious, filled with tech toys and cameras, and regularly filled with the finest foods.  

But yes, I agree with you entirely.  Coming to terms with who I am definitively has been way harder than I thought it was going to be.  There is no alternative, so I am muddling through it and will come out the other side in due course.  What has been most interesting is playing back some of the faux pas of the past through the autism lens, so many times I have stepped outside of what would have been considered 'normal' and now I can say that at least some of those were definitely my autism asserting itself.  It is also true that much of my behaviour may not be entirely due to autism, and untangling that will no doubt be elusive.  I shan't worry too much about the past though; it can't be changed - only understood.  What is important for me to know is to live as contented and stress-free a life as I can manage, and not let the autism rule - well, as much as is possible.

I’m 67 I was diagnosed last year. I found it a very hard process, it takes time to come to terms with a definition that defines your past and who you are.

I’ve always resisted being put in a box so I’m not that comfortable with simple definitions but understanding there’s a probable cause to fears, anxieties and discomforts provides measure of reassurance of what i’ve been trying to sort through on my own, in my head. To be okay to accept being me. We are all different, find diagnosis and Autism in different ways. I think perhaps we do just muddle along as we get older, try putting a good face to the world not always getting it right, but at least with a diagnosis it can help make sense of why things might feel as they do. Perhaps it’s a start..

HiLaraS and welcome.

I am late-diagnosed too and it’s definitely not an easy task to come to terms with. Apart from listening to podcasts and reading books as others have suggested. I think this place has been the best source of information and comfort.

I hope you settle in here soon.

Thank you for replying 

Thank you so much Oscar. I wish you well.

Thank you so much for replying 

Bless you. Thank you for replying 

Thank you for replying 

Thank you for replying

Hi and welcome,

I was diagnosed last year when I was 57. I knew nothing about autism until the day I heard two autistic people talking about it on the radio. My life all of a sudden made sense, it also started the ‘deep thinking’.

I can’t say a diagnosis has led to any further help, I was just given a pamphlet, it has stopped a lot the imposter syndrome, I do sometimes feel I must have tricked them and can’t possibly be autistic, I then remember they are experts and the assessment was over a long period. I was given the result at the end of the second day as they had no doubts.  The thinking seems to be that we have got this far so we will continue to muddle on, that’s far from the truth, they only see what we choose for them to see.

My only advice is to take it slowly, I’ve listened to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks by autistic people, it’s helped me to find an identity.

Hello Lara,

It's been six weeks since my diagnosis at the age of 69, so I have a little experience with what you are dealing with.  Like you, I suspected I was autistic for some time, and the odd thing I wasn't prepared for was the feelings that followed the diagnosis.  Suspecting and having it confirmed are two entirely different things!

So, now with a little time to let it all sink in, I have realised that actually I am no different than pre-diagnosis.  I know, right?  Who'd have thought that??  But then, seeing the blindingly obvious was never my strong suit.  Indeed, my experience might not be relevant to you; we are all unique in how autism presents within us, but knowing that others have had a similar journey and have managed it, I hope, offers you some reassurance that things will work out for you in time.

Meanwhile, take your time as you let it settle into your head; be kind to yourself.

Welcome to the community. I wish you find here support and like minded people. I'm myself on my way, I'm in my late thirties and my assessment starts this month.

I read as much as I could about autistic people, it’s one of my special interests still. Reflecting on the assessment and just thought about my life as things popped up in my mind. Spending time on here joining in as you feel able can also help. There is no right or wrong way to process it all, just trust your mind to take you where you need to be… also, you are still you

Hi LaraS, 

It may help a little to know that, for a while, people often feel a bit stunned and confused by their diagnosis. 

I in my early 70s and was only diagnosed this year. Even though, I had been reconciled as being autistic for a few years prior to the my assessment, it still caused a period of emptiness and feeling a bit lost. However, gradually I came to and started to discover what this new self was like. It took me several months and I am still discovering things every day. However, for the very first time, I feel like the person I have always been. 

You asked how do you process it all?  The general view is take your time learning about the "new" you and be kind to yourself. 

I found reading other people's responses to their assessment, on this site, was really helpful. I found a surprising amount in common.

Best wishes,
Oscar

Hi and welcome to the community. I'm a woman in my sixties and I had no idea I could be on the spectrum until I was in my mid fifties.

I'm not officially diagnosed, but I still found it took some time for me to come to terms with the idea that I could be autistic, having thought I was "normal" for decades. 

Be kind to yourself, take time to process things, and chat to us on here when you need to.