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Just diagnosed at 57

LaraS

Hi. I'm so confused about everything at the moment. I was diagnosed yesterday with high functioning autism. All of my children are adults and have been diagnosed later in life, late teens early 20's all high functioning autism.

Now I've helped them all where I can through diagnosis and afterwards. But I sat and thought when the assessment was done, who helps me? Where do I turn? How do I process this?

I knew how to help with my children, still do. I studied everything I possibly could. 

Obviously high functioning autism has to come from somewhere. But although over the past year I've thought I could be? I was relieved them guilty them upset one straight after the other. I had time on holiday last year talking to my brother about childhood and started to look at my own life.

I feel like I need to take time away on my own just to try to process it all.

How do I process it all? I'm waiting for the ADHD assessment in November.

Thank you so much if you've read all this. I needed to write it down xx

Parents

  • Hello Lara,

    It's been six weeks since my diagnosis at the age of 69, so I have a little experience with what you are dealing with.  Like you, I suspected I was autistic for some time, and the odd thing I wasn't prepared for was the feelings that followed the diagnosis.  Suspecting and having it confirmed are two entirely different things!

    So, now with a little time to let it all sink in, I have realised that actually I am no different than pre-diagnosis.  I know, right?  Who'd have thought that??  But then, seeing the blindingly obvious was never my strong suit.  Indeed, my experience might not be relevant to you; we are all unique in how autism presents within us, but knowing that others have had a similar journey and have managed it, I hope, offers you some reassurance that things will work out for you in time.

    Meanwhile, take your time as you let it settle into your head; be kind to yourself.

  • in reply to Iago

    I’m 67 I was diagnosed last year. I found it a very hard process, it takes time to come to terms with a definition that defines your past and who you are.

    I’ve always resisted being put in a box so I’m not that comfortable with simple definitions but understanding there’s a probable cause to fears, anxieties and discomforts provides measure of reassurance of what i’ve been trying to sort through on my own, in my head. To be okay to accept being me. We are all different, find diagnosis and Autism in different ways. I think perhaps we do just muddle along as we get older, try putting a good face to the world not always getting it right, but at least with a diagnosis it can help make sense of why things might feel as they do. Perhaps it’s a start..

Reply
  • in reply to Iago

    I’m 67 I was diagnosed last year. I found it a very hard process, it takes time to come to terms with a definition that defines your past and who you are.

    I’ve always resisted being put in a box so I’m not that comfortable with simple definitions but understanding there’s a probable cause to fears, anxieties and discomforts provides measure of reassurance of what i’ve been trying to sort through on my own, in my head. To be okay to accept being me. We are all different, find diagnosis and Autism in different ways. I think perhaps we do just muddle along as we get older, try putting a good face to the world not always getting it right, but at least with a diagnosis it can help make sense of why things might feel as they do. Perhaps it’s a start..

Children
  • in reply to Vulpes

    Ha!  I don't mind being put in a box; I object to the wrong box, though!  Mine should be luxurious, filled with tech toys and cameras, and regularly filled with the finest foods.  Joy

    But yes, I agree with you entirely.  Coming to terms with who I am definitively has been way harder than I thought it was going to be.  There is no alternative, so I am muddling through it and will come out the other side in due course.  What has been most interesting is playing back some of the faux pas of the past through the autism lens, so many times I have stepped outside of what would have been considered 'normal' and now I can say that at least some of those were definitely my autism asserting itself.  It is also true that much of my behaviour may not be entirely due to autism, and untangling that will no doubt be elusive.  I shan't worry too much about the past though; it can't be changed - only understood.  What is important for me to know is to live as contented and stress-free a life as I can manage, and not let the autism rule - well, as much as is possible.