Hello. Are there any people here who were born in the 70s and 80s, always different, now diagnosed with high-functioning autism? Like me?

Oscar said:

I am changing because of the diagnosis and am feeling more of a whole person.  

The most immediate relief is shedding so much shame and guilt.

I remember reading what Katy Did and The Secret Garden. I was also obsessed with the Famous Five book series.

Yes, it takes some coming to terms with after so many years.  Actually, I am changing because of the diagnosis and am feeling more of a whole person.  

Another one here, born in the 70's.  Waiting for official diagnosis but it looks pretty certain from initial assessments.

I've always been this way and receiving a diagnosis will be a relief but also the sense of well this is the way I am and nothing will change.

I've entered some kind of burnout during menopause and this is how it has come to light.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, it can feel pretty isolating at times.  Hope to meet more likeminded people on-line and in real life.

I was diagnosed at the tender age of 53 and it wasn't remotely surprising as I've never really felt at ease anywhere.

An ADHD-i diagnosis happened 8 months later and I've discovered that stimulant medication really doesn't do anything for me other than causing concerning side effects at higher doses.

I don't advertise the fact that I'm diagnosed as I can live without the extra scrutiny and if they hadn't figured it out by now I'm not going to enlighten them unless I have to.

I was diagnosed with depression at 18 that was ungraded to difficult to treat/treatment resistant between then and now, that's what ultimately led to my autism assessment, as apparently there's usually a reason?

The more I learn about being neurodivergent the more I notice those characteristics in others.

Isn't life just grand?

Like Oscar, I'm in my 70s and have felt a failure all my life. I adopted a host of various labels such as introverted, intolerant, fussy etc and assumed I just a completely inadequate person who had to hide my real inner life from everyone in order to get by. I'd come to the conclusion I had ADHD until my closest friend (whose husband is autistic) recently suggested I ought to take a look at autism. Oh my! I had no idea! In my youth, autism = boys with severe problems, and there was no understanding of masking. As I took the tests and did a little reading, it was all there - all the stuff I'd desperately hidden. I'm still trying to come to terms with it.

Hi, I’m a newly diagnosed autistic woman and our situation sounds very similar. The diagnosis was, at first, almost a relief but now I know I will always live like this I feel overwhelmed. I feel like my diagnosis is only for me? Haven’t told many friends yet as I’m unsure what the right thing to do is. Just want to make friends with people who understand 

I've just been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and autism.,born 1974. School for me was awkward: I was constantly late, struggled with hygiene, and hung around with kids I didn't even like—I just turned up. Because I was so quiet and polite, the teachers didn't really pick up on the fact that I was struggling. It wasn't until secondary school that my problems became obvious, and I eventually stopped going.

​With no real support from my parents, I started a job in a warehouse at 16. I looked up to my first manager, but he took advantage of me and abused me. For four years after that, I sat in my room, only leaving the house to buy weed to stop the thoughts. Out of shame, I promised my mum not to tell anyone. 

 I kept these secrets for a very long time. My wife and kids only found out when I was around 40, when I had my first major breakdown. Since then, I’ve struggled with getting employment; building confidence and learning new skills have become extremely hard. On top of my ADHD and ASD diagnoses, I’m really confused about what to do next.

I am the mum/carer for my son, born in the late 80s and diagnosed at 30 with high functioning Asperger's.  He too was different and a loner.  He still feels lonely now and is hurt that he is not like others.  He has mild learning difficulties too.  However, despite getting down or having meltdowns, he works and has his own house, so going into work helps combat the lonliness.  He would love to have a partner but struggles with social flirting, as it doesn’t come naturally.  He sees his siblings with partners and children and really wants that too.  I don’t know how to help with that.  During the last year, he has joined a club where there are people of all ages and some on the spectrum.  He feels safe there and isn’t judged.  It’s been a lifeline.  He recognises others are like him, that his brain is wired differently, but is sad that he hasn’t had better chances of earning more so that he can progress

I have had a mixed response. I only have 2 friends 1 has been amazing 1 hasn’t coped well. 

my sister has been amazing. Both my teenage boys are diagnosed with autism one also has adhd so they fully understand. 

work have been very supportive and I am just about to have an occupational health assessment. 

Hi. I was born in 1970 and was diagnosed with autism and adhd about a month ago. 

reading your post and the responses to it have been quite profound. So many similarities in struggles with life and education. 

I have managed to forge a path that has been successful but at some cost and impact. 

my diagnosis has been seismic as although I felt different I had no idea until recently that I could be autistic and have adhd

I was both playing with my cabbage patch kid and reading victorian children's novels. :) I still have my cabbage patch kid now. Out of interest which books in particular did you read? I loved Little Women, What Katy Did and Secret Garden.

hi, i hope you don’t mind me replying. i’m 53 and was diagnosed last week. i was expecting some pushback from some family members but i have been very pleasantly surprised.

they have all responded with love and support. i was very surprised - i was expecting to be asked why so many people ‘want’ to be diagnosed ‘these days’ but so far so good! nobody was even surprised which was very telling - i clearly give away more than i realise.

i am also very much in the ‘bright but weird’ category. my peers were playing with Cabbage Patch dolls and i was reading Victorian children’s novels and trying to get everyone else to realise how interesting it was…

I hope you won't me mind joinng in; as I was born early 1950s. I can identify what you say. For me, a sense of dissociation from other children but also an awareness, even when very young, of being very self-contained, an individual. On one-hand, some general sadness and on the other, a busy mind discovering, wondering, deciding and making.  My assessment felt like some sort of enlightenment. 

i’m 53 and i just got diagnosed last week. when i was doing my paperwork i realised just how awful school was for me. 

born in 1973, i can clearly remember (i can remember everything that’s ever happened to me) feeling left out and not wanting to play with other children when i was at nursery school age 3. i started school at 3 and a half - i could already read when i got there!

i went to a private prep school with only 130 children. i was moved up a year when i was 7 so had to do ‘Upper 6th’ which was only four of us. moving up to secondary school was like being thrown into an industrial mincer. i was bullied and excluded and it was hell. pure hell. even my ‘best friend’ bullied me in front of other people for some of my mannerisms. i suppressed all of it, scraped 7 average GCSEs and disappointed my family forever by not passing my 11 Plus and going to my local comp. they expected great things from me but as i got older and was expected to learn independently, i just couldn’t do it. crashed out of my A Levels. the only one of five kids who never went into higher education, never went to uni, never made anything of myself. when i was 14 i started acting out and was just punished over and over until i left home at 17.

i’ve had jobs but never a career. i can’t keep my mouth shut if i can see someone not doing something right, and that’s not sustainable in an office environment. i worked from 17 to 39, when i had a spectacular breakdown and spent 5 weeks inpatient psych. i won a diagnosis of BPD and was put on a high dosage of antipsychotics. that was 15 years ago - i’m still on them now.

my diagnosis has set me free. i’ve been able to tell my family that i’m not bad, or defective. i didn’t just opt out of life - i did my best until i couldn’t do it anymore.

I was born in the 70s. My memories of childhood are brutal. Working class boys were expected to behave in a certain way, and I found the world a hostile and confusing place. Sometimes, I'd like to go back and find that boy, give him a hug and tell him that he's absolutely perfect the way he is. I tell my autistic son that all the time. 

Hi AnnMarilena I was also born in 70s. I was diagnosed last week.  After a LOT of reading after an seeing article earlier this year on how ASC is not well understood and as I read it... I realised "this is me". The National Autistic Society website was so helpful especially the lived experiences.

I always knew I was different - but I put it down to different reasons. "bright but weird" is a good description KinksFan  and what you say Nat7146  resonates too.  

The diagnoses means more of the world makes sense - it's like a light has been turned on.  Still processing it.  Mix of relief, fear, uncertainty, worry...  It's hard right now.

I also need to decide who to tell.  How have you all found sharing the news with family, friends and work? 

I am late diagnosed and born in the 1970s. I was in the class year  above during first school and then had to be with my age group and do an extra year there. I was always different but worked hard to fit in. I cried a lot, felt injustice very strongly and hated criticism of any kind, I would cry and cry and actually it still makes me cry quite uncontrollably. I loved being on my own playing g although I also felt lonely when I was in the playground. When I did have a friend for a short time, it always ended and I never knew why. 
I also was a tomboy and loved animals and my grandparents, who taught me quite complicated card games when I was little. 
looking back my childhood was hard but there were kind people around too. 

I am 53 and was born in March 1973 and autism came out in 1980 and Aspergers in 1993/1994. I had left school by the time aspergers came out. I left school in 1991.

I left a primary school at 8.5 where I had behavioural issues and some issues where linked to sensory sensitivity. That was is in 1981. I went into a new school with a different regime, but struggled to adjust and I had issues with my school work, although I was good at writing but had issues with grammar. I don't know where my communication would have made me be diagnosed as either condition before 2013 when the DSM 5 came out.

In my early childhood, I was more of a tomboy, but I did like some typical girl things. I didn’t though like very much female company as I preferred to play with the boys and I found my sister too emotional for me so may be this was a bit different. I was a headstrong child and quite fearless at times. I was probably level 2 or higher even in some areas.

You can learn to adapt and I was diagnosed as an adult with some level 1 and level 2 ‘s.

I am  quite introverted, but I am still headstrong but my story reads different from many here who describe themselves as shy as a girl when growing up.

I wonder when was a good age to born autistic? Is it really so much better now?