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Hello. Are there any people here who were born in the 70s and 80s, always different, now diagnosed with high-functioning autism? Like me?

AnnMarilena

I'm almost 50 years old, and I've always felt I was different. Even in preschool, at the age of three, I felt it clearly. But it wasn't a problem for me. I functioned very well. I asked my mother why the children at preschool were different from me. She didn't understand my questions. So I decided she was different too. As if it were natural that most people are different from me, although I don't know why. But I never wanted to be like those others, even at three or four years old. In a sense, I felt they were a separate species, even though they looked the same. To simplify a bit – like a dog and a cat. Both species, in a simplified description, have the same physical characteristics: fur, four legs, a tail, ears... But they're different species. And that's normal. That's how I felt in preschool. After that, it was different.

Parents

  • i’m 53 and i just got diagnosed last week. when i was doing my paperwork i realised just how awful school was for me. 

    born in 1973, i can clearly remember (i can remember everything that’s ever happened to me) feeling left out and not wanting to play with other children when i was at nursery school age 3. i started school at 3 and a half - i could already read when i got there!

    i went to a private prep school with only 130 children. i was moved up a year when i was 7 so had to do ‘Upper 6th’ which was only four of us. moving up to secondary school was like being thrown into an industrial mincer. i was bullied and excluded and it was hell. pure hell. even my ‘best friend’ bullied me in front of other people for some of my mannerisms. i suppressed all of it, scraped 7 average GCSEs and disappointed my family forever by not passing my 11 Plus and going to my local comp. they expected great things from me but as i got older and was expected to learn independently, i just couldn’t do it. crashed out of my A Levels. the only one of five kids who never went into higher education, never went to uni, never made anything of myself. when i was 14 i started acting out and was just punished over and over until i left home at 17.

    i’ve had jobs but never a career. i can’t keep my mouth shut if i can see someone not doing something right, and that’s not sustainable in an office environment. i worked from 17 to 39, when i had a spectacular breakdown and spent 5 weeks inpatient psych. i won a diagnosis of BPD and was put on a high dosage of antipsychotics. that was 15 years ago - i’m still on them now.

    my diagnosis has set me free. i’ve been able to tell my family that i’m not bad, or defective. i didn’t just opt out of life - i did my best until i couldn’t do it anymore.

Reply

  • i’m 53 and i just got diagnosed last week. when i was doing my paperwork i realised just how awful school was for me. 

    born in 1973, i can clearly remember (i can remember everything that’s ever happened to me) feeling left out and not wanting to play with other children when i was at nursery school age 3. i started school at 3 and a half - i could already read when i got there!

    i went to a private prep school with only 130 children. i was moved up a year when i was 7 so had to do ‘Upper 6th’ which was only four of us. moving up to secondary school was like being thrown into an industrial mincer. i was bullied and excluded and it was hell. pure hell. even my ‘best friend’ bullied me in front of other people for some of my mannerisms. i suppressed all of it, scraped 7 average GCSEs and disappointed my family forever by not passing my 11 Plus and going to my local comp. they expected great things from me but as i got older and was expected to learn independently, i just couldn’t do it. crashed out of my A Levels. the only one of five kids who never went into higher education, never went to uni, never made anything of myself. when i was 14 i started acting out and was just punished over and over until i left home at 17.

    i’ve had jobs but never a career. i can’t keep my mouth shut if i can see someone not doing something right, and that’s not sustainable in an office environment. i worked from 17 to 39, when i had a spectacular breakdown and spent 5 weeks inpatient psych. i won a diagnosis of BPD and was put on a high dosage of antipsychotics. that was 15 years ago - i’m still on them now.

    my diagnosis has set me free. i’ve been able to tell my family that i’m not bad, or defective. i didn’t just opt out of life - i did my best until i couldn’t do it anymore.

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