Newly Diagnosed - Day 3 - Feeling lonely

Thank you Christine, I will have a read of it.

That’s very true, I will take time to digest it and moving forward how I live my life, knowing my diagnosis, plus I still need the report yet.

Being amongst other people you can't relate to, or feel different from, is more lonely than being alone.

It is why they say people feel lonely in crowds.

I always feel lonely around other people.

But being alone too much, I went almost a year hardly talking once almost entirely isolated and under pressure (not entirely by choice), has a different set of challenges. It is important to have at least one person you can speak to every other day ideally.

Sharing your diagnosis will likely not have the effect you expect. They will quite possibly say they already guessed and it is no surprise, then move on and expect you to carry on as before. They might be interested, but it will quickly wane. It is important to you, but other people don't find it interesting enough to talk about it for months. The may just dismiss it or not take it too seriously. Only you can tell.

I think I'd tell them. But you know your circumstances. You might want to think about what you want them to know or understand, as in general people won't guess what you mean. This is hard though as describing experiences and feeling is hard, even just talking about yourself is hard to start with. What you are probably after is sone sympathy and space. But mostly this journey is personal.

You can get some temporary relief from the sense of isolation by sharing your thoughts on here. Having so done else say they feel the same is very helpful. Note that your thoughts and feelings will change though. Don't worry about it. It is part of re-establishing your identity.

Hi Marlee101

Thank you for sharing your feelings around diagnosis. Receiving an autism diagnosis can be an intense emotional experience and people report a wide range of reactions, which often change over time.

I can see that the online community is providing some useful diagnosis information and support.  I just wanted to add this link to how a diagnosis can make you feel. I can see that the online community is providing some useful diagnosis information and support.  

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/diagnosis/after-diagnosis/how-will-i-feel-after-receiving-an-autism-diagnosi

I hope this information is useful to you.

Take care.

Christine Mod

It is just a weird place at the moment, thank you. I think I need to rediscover myself, give it time and see how I feel in a few months.

I’m sorry you feel so lonely. Cinnabar gives good advice below, I have nothing new to add to that . The word autism means different things to the general public and often wrong information. It’s hard to share with your family, even though I’m sure if you broke your arm you would tell them and they would be supportive. So I’m trying to say but very clumsily I get where you’re coming from. 

Brilliant, thank you so much for the kind advice. I think I will hold on tight yet, let myself get used it first. Then maybe one day, if I feel there is a need.

I'm sorry your feeling so lonely, it's a difficult place to be, wanting to share and feel accepted, though I know I've heard it's not always what you hope for. I don't have the answers, but I know the feeling, I've not actually told my parents or one of my siblings, though I have shared with two of them, and it was fine. It would be wonderful to know how the conversation will go before hand, and have an undo button. I suppose the only thing you can prepare yourself with is information to answer questions they might have(this page from NAS seemed helpful in things to consider -www.autism.org.uk/.../talking-about-and-disclosing-your-autism-diagnosis).

Finding ways to talk about autism before disclosing helps to figure out what their views might be first - famous people can help with this, if you say you found out so-and-so is autistic and it really interested you, or something like that, in your own way. It might give you an Idea how they feel about autism and give a chance to educate them a bit positively if needed before letting them know about yourself. My own way was letting them know about my son's diagnosis and then seeing if I could say I was too. You don't need to rush it if you think you need more time to process it yourself. It's different for everyone, and if you want to tell them, I'm rooting for a good reaction for you, and I'm glad you have a friend that really understands too.

Best of luck to you.