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Hello from Farnham. New to ASD

qcdj2009

Hi All,

My son, age 10 was officially diagnised yesterday with ASD, he also has ADHD and has been diagnosed with that for over 2 years now. He is on medication for it. He also has strict OCD routines and has just come back from 9 days at his Dad's where his hands are red raw, dry and bleeding. His behaviour at home is becoming increasingly more challenging and difficult for us as a family. At the moment I don't see how we are going to get out of it :-( My husband in particular is struggling. We also have 2 other children a duaghter ages 14 and a sone aged 4.

I'm hoping to get support, advice and a friendly ear on here to help us through this difficult time.

  • A CAF is a common assessment framework.  I was told by my SS department that to be assessed for early intervention, a CAF would have to be done.  Basically, its a meeting of all professionals involved with the family (and yourselves) to discuss issues and how to help.  Any professional involved can request one.  There is a big push at the moment for these because it can nip issues in the bud quickly and stop SS being involved however in the case of disability, its also a way into the early intervention system.  If your school do not know what it is, print them off some guidance (a quick google search will do it).

    As for respite, what they should do is find a 'buddy' that is suited to your son's needs and they would slowly build up a relationship with your son so that he's comfortable going out with them.  I know what you mean though because that's what I thought about my daughter however via the inclusion service, she had a tutor visit her at home and after a few weeks, she felt comfortable enough to go out with her (she wasn't in any education at the time because of her anxiety) and now actually goes to the PRU full time which in itself, is a miracle.  The tutor was perfect for her, understanding, maternal and there just for her.  They've built up a brilliant relationship.

    Good luck with the statement, I'm also in the process after two previous attempts.  Whatever happens, appeal if you do not get what you want.  I've learnt that the older they get, the issues with school get worse without a statement.

  • I did ask at school about Social Services but I didn't get a reply. What is the CAF, what does it involve and what does early intevention from SS mean?

    I have applied for DLA and we do get that.

    School have been rubbish and have only just applied for a statement for his needs. I have been asking for 2 years. I did apply myself last year but got no where but as things have got so worse recently I think the school were left with no choice.

    My only concern with respite would be what if he didn't want to go and kicked off?

  • Hi

    Sorry to hear how difficult things are at the moment.  Did the person diagnosing give you any signposts towards help?  Mine put my name down on a parent group thing though 6 months later, I'm still waiting.  

    Personally, as this affects your whole family, I'd ask school or the GP to do a CAF to see if you can get early intervention help from Social Services.  I was looking at going down this route myself but realised we wouldn't quite qualify (I work in a children's social care department so asked there before going through the rigermorole of more meetings) but if you have other family members in the house that are affected, you are more likely to get help with some respite care etc.  That can actually be a few hours a week for someone to take your son off to do an activity he likes while you and the rest of the family have a break.

    Also, have you made a claim for DLA?  If not, do asap because this will also help.  I used my daughters to do things she likes such as horse riding and I bought things for the garden like a trampoline to help her calm down as well as the extra costs involved with her SPD and anxiety.

    Depending on where you live, there may be good support groups with a local group - there is a list on this site.

    Good luck.