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Introduction. And fear of social media

Stringcat

Hello everyone. Having suspected it for a while, I’ve recently had an autism diagnosis in my 50s. It’s brought a great sense of relief, after years of dealing with anxiety, etc that I just put down to being ‘bad at life’ or bad at dealing with people. I always felt I was just ‘getting it wrong’ and could never find out why.

Do others have difficulty dealing with social media? I’ve given up using things like Facebook, even though it gives me access to support groups (I’m also widowed). It’s such a stressful environment. Even group chats with close family or friends feel like being in a noisy bar with everyone shouting at once. I hardly ever post replies myself - in a large part, for fear of saying something inappropriate and being humiliated for it. Or I just spend days worrying if I’ve said the wrong thing.

Even posting here is making me nervous. (I’ve reread this message about five times now before posting!) Does this sound familiar to anyone?

  • Hi again and welcome!!

    I have only recently started to use Facebook and that is only because I've joined a couple of ND groups.

    This place is the nearest thing to social media for me and I too was very nervous when I first joined. 

    I've found people on here very supportive and kind. There was nothing to be scared of, as usual the picture I had in my mind was so far away from reality.

    I hope you settle in here soon and enjoy chatting with us.

    (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

  • Good morning from America, Stringcat!

    Oh yes, this sounds familiar to me. One very trying time for me was when I got wrapped up in a group phone chat with the “drama” side of the family lol. I’ve dropped Facebook except for Messenger with a couple friends that are all over the States.

    I do use Discord, though. I find that environment more acceptable, especially since only my closest friends use that with me. I still reread all my posts over and over and delete them every once in a while, but it’s far less pressure than I felt when I used Facebook and MySpace.

    Even if posting here is nerve-wracking, I hope you show up every once in a while! Check out the 3 good things post, it’s all only good vibes there.

  • I've never fancied facebook or any of the others, now it all gone crazy and I don't understand most of it and wouldn't have a clue how to go about using it. Here is a bit less of a mine field than I hear other sites are, but many of us still self censor. I think many of us spend days worrying about whether we've offended someone and imagining what if's. But most folk here are quite welcoming and the good thing about this site is few play games and as it's not live you have time to consider things and decide if a particular thread is something you want to read, or post on, or ignore.

  • Stringcat said:
    I hardly ever post replies myself - in a large part, for fear of saying something inappropriate and being humiliated for it.

    You can continue this way no problem - using the groups to observe and learn can be quite empowering and this way you get to keep abreast of what is going on in the groups relevant to you without an expectation of unprompted contribution.

    I "lurk" on most of the major platforms but have been losing interest in them over the last few years as the way others use them has been steadily morphing and companies are exploiting it much more, often for shady reasons.

    I don't know if you saw the recent fuss around Twitter / X when they enabled geo-locating for the accounts. It turned out some of the main government accounts were being run out of Israel and many of the far right influencers were being run from Russia and India. There was a sharp U turn by Twitter on this for a while so they could "fix" this unwanted reveal and the government accounts now all show the USA as the location.

    A bug or a slip of the curtain? I suspect the latter, but it does reveal a lot of influence by outside parties if this is the case.

    In terms of posting on any of these platforms - I skip it altogether. I used to do a bunch of tourist related videos from the seaside town I lived in just because I had a load of time on my hands and I have a YouTube channel for the work I do (renovating old properties) but there is very little interaction required this way.

    In essence there is little to fear if you don't get into too much interaction. If you do interact then I would say as little as you can since there will always be someone who will want to take offence at any opinion.

    It has its uses even just as an observer.

  • Yes, I have difficulty with Social media too. 

    I have been unable to make any friends in the Social media environment. In fact it caused me to lose a few friends. Facebook was particularly bad for me. So I deleted my account about 5 years ago and it has been great for me. 

    I still have an X/Twitter account because it's useful for keeping up to date with the news and my interests. I occasionally still manage to argue with people, but it's a lot less intense due to the reduction in comment size and the fact that the platform by its nature is quite impersonal.

    I guess that because I have used it the way that I have means that I'm less worried about what others think about what I comment. I know that most people don't really get me, but these days I've made my peace with that.