Hello

Hello April,

wellcome to the Community and I hope you will be happy. We need more eccentrics as they make life more bearable, living life on their terms. What fun films do you enjoy watching? I love Pinchclife Grand prix, a 1975 Norwegian film, very funny and the most successful Norwegian film of all time.

Hi, welcome to the community! 

HiAprilia and welcome.

Hope you settle in here soon and enjoy chatting with us.

(⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Gotcha! Well this might sound silly but you may have seen more of the US than I have lol. I’ve been all over the Midwest and eastern side, but still haven’t ventured very far west. It’d be cool to see Hawaii and Alaska someday.

I am not in the US, although I work for a publicly listed American company, I worked for Motorola a long time ago too. I visited the Chicago area quite a few times. I have been to the US about 30-40 times I think. I've been to a good number of national parks.

I've also been to Hawaii a couple of times and 6 islands. Their flag has the union jack in the corner, from before the US annexed them.

The silver sword only grows on Haleakala. Seeing sunset from above the clouds on mauna kea was cool.

I didn’t realize you’ve spent time in the US, Stuart! Do you mind me asking if you’re still in the States or if you’re from over here?

I driven round about half the US. I used to write some notes on a piece of paper and memorise where I was going each day. Then use the road signs.

Did it from map books, then internet.

Only really started relying on sat nav in my new car this year. Old habits die hard.

Driving is okay as long as I know where I’m going and weather’s okay. If I’m somewhere I’m not used to I get really anxious! You’re absolutely right about roads in America, especially here in the Midwest they’re straight, flat, and seem to go on forever. Some people find our roads really boring, but I prefer boring over hilly or curvy roads lol.

I can’t imagine driving in London traffic, I bet that is crazy. I used to live closer to Chicago and I DREADED going near or through that city.

Old Pokémon music is fantastic! I’m really into old video game soundtracks like that. I used to dream of having my music in a video game. But! I do have some friends and mentors who made it into games! I know one guy who wrote pop music for Wolfenstein and a good friend of mine did sound effects for the Tony Hawk remakes!

I just read on another post that you’re stressed at your current job and might want a new one sometime soon. My current job is helping people with disabilities find/keep employment, so if you need tips or a listening ear, let me know!

I hope you have a great day as well!

Hello 

Welcome to the community forum

I'm nearly 42 years old, from England. 

Enjoy adult colouring books, reading, puzzle books and watching the birds. 

Occasionally I go to a group where I meet up with people to chat over a cup of tea and a biscuit. 

Really enjoy doing the crafts especially painting ceramics and made christmas wreaths in 2023 and 2024. 

 Thanks Aprilia 

You said:  "I need to be a bit better when it comes to masking because I don’t recognise when I’m doing it, I just feel the anxiety and tiredness from it later on which is no good." 

I think I know what you mean :-)

In my case I have known in the past and still now when my mask slips because that's often when i'm not nice!

Stimulated by your response I found this website page of info:

Autistic Masking Symptoms - Signs, Traits, Effects,

of which:

"Overcompensating in Social Settings:Being excessively polite, agreeable, or accommodating to avoid negative attention."

Jumped out at me in context :-)

Here's a thought tho' - all this masking can be analogous to be like a fish swimming in water - does it really know that water exists?

Maybe one can go thro' the list of things from this website and go "oh yes, that's me,  oh! and that,  and that, and that..."

I'm now come to the opinion that in order to unmask one needs to have a viable alternative ready and willing to do instead.

For stuff like stimming, well it's maybe OK these days to sit twirling a pencil or similar (at least in some social settings).

Maybe one can under some circumstances not bother so much with trying to "read" and fit in with other people.

Etc.

Personally I think the trickiest thing, but also the most useful thing, out of all the stuff to "unmask" is the "cognitive masking".

Removing this mask from oneself perhaps reveals the person one genuinely is.  From which there is an opportunity to "start again" with an enormous amount of otherwise repressed or suppressed energy that can be employed to participate in and enjoy a happy and more satisfying life.

Best Wishes

:-)

 Dear, Elfilis 

Hello! I saw you posted on my thread but unfortunately I can’t find your post now. I just wanted to say thanks for your reply, and I’m sorry you have meltdowns and find work so draining as well.

I fully sympathise and offer virtual hugs x.

I love Nintendo games as well. Do you have any favourites? Mine are Animal Crossing, Pokemon and I absolutely love the Mario Kart games. I’m not great at them lol but I do enjoy them all the same. What sort of arts and crafts do you enjoy? I love Spongebob as well. Who doesn't? I can get lost in Spongebob and watch them for hours on end. I also love the original Spongebob movie, it’s one of my most favourite movies to watch!

I recently bought the new Spongebob game on Steam and it's amazing! Highly recommend if you don't already have it!!

I hope you have a lovely day.

Best wishes,
April.

Thank you! See there goes my brain over-thinking again. I see there were replies and straight away I’m worrying like crazy thinking people will think I’m rude because I didn’t respond sooner. My brain can be so self-destructive!

That’s great you don’t have to travel too far to work. I’m sorry you saw someone crash though, that must have been terrifying to see. Hopefully it’s something you won’t have to see again! I drive to work and it’s not that far really but the London rush hour traffic takes sooo long to get through. Sometimes I feel like it would be quicker to walk.

Do you like driving? I enjoy it but find it stressful. I would prefer it if there was less cars lol. In some parts of America the roads look long and like they never end. It must be fun to drive on roads like those!

Wow you must be very talented to be able to make such fun and cool music! I actually love video game music, like the music from the old Pokémon and Mario games is so fun and catchy…I frequently listen to that sort of music on repeat. I used to play The Sims 3 and I loved the music on that game too. I’m glad you feel less worried about it now. It sounds like a really fun thing to do! Who knows maybe one day your music might be in a video game?

I think that’s the most important thing doing what you are comfortable with and what you enjoy. It’s cool you share your books with your friends as well. I’ve never felt comfortable enough to even share one piece of writing with anybody I know. I suffer with confidence in a big way so this is something I’m working on. I expect lots of people would like your writing – it’s a style so many people enjoy, look at Stephen King, and there’s always something for everyone.

And so long as you are having fun writing and then reading it after I think that’s all that really matters.

Thanks so much for the advice! I do appreciate it. I always write in silence but maybe this is actually working against me. I have music playlists for when I draw or knit so I’ll make one for my writing too and see how that goes.

Have a nice day

Best wishes,
April.

No need to apologize! That’s the beauty of a forum like this; There’s no rush to respond.

Yeah I’m less optimistic about snowstorms since I’ve got a 35 min drive to work lol. Good news is that my drive is pretty straight. Crazy thing though is that Monday I saw a guy wipe out into the ditch even though it’s a straight drive, so that was a little nerve wracking.

As far as music goes, my go-to is writing disco or video game remixes. I used to worry a lot about getting my music out there (I was once a music professor), but lately I’ve been less concerned about that. Since I’ve stopped worrying, it’s been wayy more fulfilling to write music.

Similarly with my writing, I’m not concerned with getting the trilogy published. I’m pretty comfortable with keeping it for myself and a few trusted friends. It’s a little dark, because my typical writing is fantasy horror. I guess I’m a little worried about scaring or hurting others with what I write lol. But thank you! It felt good to finish it after about 2-3 years of working on it.

In regards to your stories, one advice I have is to make a music playlist! Listening to specific songs while I write really helps with my process.

I get that a lot of songs.

Sometimes being in a certain place can trigger a memory as well for me.

Sounds like a nice day! I'm home all day today, so hoping to relax and have a slow but peaceful day.

ArchaeC said:

I relate to the feeling of anxiety becoming overwhelming—It can be a fine balancing act trying to do things, yet attending to self care.

So true. When things get overwhelming I try not to do too much and try to do small things I enjoy and that helps me to ground and lessen the anxiety. It doesn't always work but it helps most of the time.

I hope you have a nice day today.

So sorry for the late reply. I was working yesterday and that always takes it out of me lol I got home and was so exhausted I went straight to sleep. Day off today though – YAY! – so can’t complain too much!

It’s been pretty mild here so far this year, though that is about to change after this weekend by the sound of it. Turning cooler, but not cold enough for snow, not here anyway. A snowstorm sounds cool – No pun intended! – I’d love to be snowed in, I think everything looks extra pretty when it’s under a blanket of snow. Not so nice when you have to go out in it though!

What sort of music and stories do you like to make? I enjoy writing stories but I can never finish them. My laptop is full of well over a hundred stories that I began but so far have never got round to finishing. I love music, I listen to it every day though I wouldn’t have a clue how to write or make my own music.
I think I am definitely going to try and make my own wreathe this year as well. In the videos I’ve been watching it looks like it could be a fun thing to try.

Congrats on finishing your book trilogy! That’s a great accomplishment. Do you think you’ll ever send it of to be published? One thing I’ve always liked the idea of is having one of my books made into a proper book. There are companies online that can do that, but I actually need to try and finish a book first lol.

Good morning, Phased, thank you for replying. I love your username! Congrats on your diagnosis, I’m glad you know about your autism and I hope your new phase of life has been insightful and better.

I didn’t really understand what was going on when I was diagnosed but now I’m a bit older I can better understand it and have been trying to embrace it a bit more as sometimes I can have a bit of a downer on it.

It really is tricky yeah lol. I need to be a bit better when it comes to masking because I don’t recognise when I’m doing it, I just feel the anxiety and tiredness from it later on which is no good. That’s one of my top reasons for joining the forum so I can get help and understand things a bit better.

Maybe eventually I can help some others as well.

Phased said:

I'm autistic, quite a lot eccentric and blowed if I can work out how to be nice all the time!

Same! But at least we try

Best wishes to you too!

April.

I’m having a good afternoon thank you. I’m at home all day and catching up on the ‘paperwork’ and online futtery tasks that often get pushed to one side when I’m busy with other things. 

I relate to the feeling of anxiety becoming overwhelming—It can be a fine balancing act trying to do things, yet attending to self care. I’m not crafty but I think its great that you are able to make all those things. 

Hi April

Pleased to read your post :-)

My name is Phased on this site 'cos I was feeling like I had gone into a new phase of life by being diagnosed :-)

I was diagnosed 3 years ago and I am 61.  Hehe - I have been autistic all that time!

The craziness is tricky isn't it!  And functioning, including for the better, is hard work I agree.  There are lots of ways to work with the self care - and anxiety management and working out the pros and cons of masking are biggies.  I suspect that hanging around on this website will give further insight into those topics :-)

good hobbies!

I'm autistic, quite a lot eccentric and blowed if I can work out how to be nice all the time!

All the best!

More often it is the other way around, that smells can trigger memories, just like certain song can.