Hello

Hi April

Pleased to read your post :-)

My name is Phased on this site 'cos I was feeling like I had gone into a new phase of life by being diagnosed :-)

I was diagnosed 3 years ago and I am 61.  Hehe - I have been autistic all that time!

The craziness is tricky isn't it!  And functioning, including for the better, is hard work I agree.  There are lots of ways to work with the self care - and anxiety management and working out the pros and cons of masking are biggies.  I suspect that hanging around on this website will give further insight into those topics :-)

good hobbies!

I'm autistic, quite a lot eccentric and blowed if I can work out how to be nice all the time!

All the best!

Good morning, Phased, thank you for replying. I love your username! Congrats on your diagnosis, I’m glad you know about your autism and I hope your new phase of life has been insightful and better.

I didn’t really understand what was going on when I was diagnosed but now I’m a bit older I can better understand it and have been trying to embrace it a bit more as sometimes I can have a bit of a downer on it.

It really is tricky yeah lol. I need to be a bit better when it comes to masking because I don’t recognise when I’m doing it, I just feel the anxiety and tiredness from it later on which is no good. That’s one of my top reasons for joining the forum so I can get help and understand things a bit better.

Maybe eventually I can help some others as well.

Phased said:

I'm autistic, quite a lot eccentric and blowed if I can work out how to be nice all the time!

Same! But at least we try

Best wishes to you too!

April.

 Thanks Aprilia 

You said:  "I need to be a bit better when it comes to masking because I don’t recognise when I’m doing it, I just feel the anxiety and tiredness from it later on which is no good." 

I think I know what you mean :-)

In my case I have known in the past and still now when my mask slips because that's often when i'm not nice!

Stimulated by your response I found this website page of info:

Autistic Masking Symptoms - Signs, Traits, Effects,

of which:

"Overcompensating in Social Settings:Being excessively polite, agreeable, or accommodating to avoid negative attention."

Jumped out at me in context :-)

Here's a thought tho' - all this masking can be analogous to be like a fish swimming in water - does it really know that water exists?

Maybe one can go thro' the list of things from this website and go "oh yes, that's me,  oh! and that,  and that, and that..."

I'm now come to the opinion that in order to unmask one needs to have a viable alternative ready and willing to do instead.

For stuff like stimming, well it's maybe OK these days to sit twirling a pencil or similar (at least in some social settings).

Maybe one can under some circumstances not bother so much with trying to "read" and fit in with other people.

Etc.

Personally I think the trickiest thing, but also the most useful thing, out of all the stuff to "unmask" is the "cognitive masking".

Removing this mask from oneself perhaps reveals the person one genuinely is.  From which there is an opportunity to "start again" with an enormous amount of otherwise repressed or suppressed energy that can be employed to participate in and enjoy a happy and more satisfying life.

Best Wishes

:-)

 Thanks Aprilia 

You said:  "I need to be a bit better when it comes to masking because I don’t recognise when I’m doing it, I just feel the anxiety and tiredness from it later on which is no good." 

I think I know what you mean :-)

In my case I have known in the past and still now when my mask slips because that's often when i'm not nice!

Stimulated by your response I found this website page of info:

Autistic Masking Symptoms - Signs, Traits, Effects,

of which:

"Overcompensating in Social Settings:Being excessively polite, agreeable, or accommodating to avoid negative attention."

Jumped out at me in context :-)

Here's a thought tho' - all this masking can be analogous to be like a fish swimming in water - does it really know that water exists?

Maybe one can go thro' the list of things from this website and go "oh yes, that's me,  oh! and that,  and that, and that..."

I'm now come to the opinion that in order to unmask one needs to have a viable alternative ready and willing to do instead.

For stuff like stimming, well it's maybe OK these days to sit twirling a pencil or similar (at least in some social settings).

Maybe one can under some circumstances not bother so much with trying to "read" and fit in with other people.

Etc.

Personally I think the trickiest thing, but also the most useful thing, out of all the stuff to "unmask" is the "cognitive masking".

Removing this mask from oneself perhaps reveals the person one genuinely is.  From which there is an opportunity to "start again" with an enormous amount of otherwise repressed or suppressed energy that can be employed to participate in and enjoy a happy and more satisfying life.

Best Wishes

:-)