55 years of not knowing.

HiBunni3smum. 

That really resonated with me.

It’s quite overwhelming at first and the emotions can feel all over the place.

When I got my diagnosis, my son told me he was proud of me, which really meant a lot. It even made him realise he might have ADHD too.

Funny how our own journey can help others start to see things in themselves.

Congratulations! I was diagnosed in August, I am now 46. I am pleased, but I have been maybe the lowest a/o most sensitive I have felt in many years. It makes perfect sense because its who I am anyway. I have seen it written by a few people ' try not too think to much about the diagnosis'.

btw. I had this all the way through school people telling me what I could and couldn't be in life. Don't worry about it. Its never wasted time, finding some things out about yourself sooner is not always the best way to learn anyway.

The main thing is not letting other people upset or get in your way. Allow yourself to relax and have fun.

Good evening from the UK.

Thank you, I'm guessing it gets easier to accept the diagnosis. As much as I had researched and repeated online tests prior to the assessment, I was still doubting that I had it. I guess, I felt like an imposter and kept thinking what if they can't tell me why I feel, think and act differently. I will be glad once I've had my ADHD assessment too as procrastination due to sensory overwhelm paralysis, I keep thinking they might just say it's laziness. 

My daughter has agreed to be on a call with me when I talk to my son, I just wish that she didn't live in a different country so I would have that support locally. Unfortunately, I only have my grown up children in my family as I had to walk away from my mum and sisters years ago due to how they treated me.

I'm glad that your family were able to warm up to the idea of your diagnosis, it must make a difference.  

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my message.

Thank you so much for your reply. Unfortunately, I am too honest and too open so I will find it difficult not telling work. I'd love to tell the children too when they're having a tough time, to show them that I CAN understand but I know this would be frowned on by management. Unfortunately, staff wellbeing has never really been a priority and parents are always protected over the staff. I absolutely love working with children so this would be hard for me to give up. Even on a bad day, the children can take my mind off things and can make me laugh.

I will definitely keep looking at ways to cope with this diagnosis and to improve my knowledge and understanding about it too. I will need to discuss it with my son as he noticed me getting upset a couple of weeks ago due to sensory overload. I tend to mask at work but at home I feel overwhelmed because of the masking. This is something else that I need to read up on, how to unmask.

Thanks again.

Hello My Name is Bob,a similar story here so reading with interest...A recent ASD diagnosis i'm 49 and did not know,I'm above average intelligence,Sharp,Witty....How did I not know!???

Just want you to know there are people in the same boat.

It's not the being Neurodiverse BUT biting back if anybody queried me that has destroyed my Life.

2 Marraiges....gone

I CANNOT and WILL NOT Complain - My Life has been Snazing and I will not give in....

Now I know I figure at 49 any relationship I have going forward will start with a kecel playing field xx

Hi and welcome to the community.

I discovered that I was on the spectrum at around the same age you are now, which was around 9 years ago. I have found that it's a useful thing to know to help you understand yourself better and work out what you want in life, and how to deal with things better. But most people really aren't that interested, unless they are also on the spectrum and able to accept that they are.

I found it useful to find out as much as possible about autism - there are some good articles on the "advice and guidance" section of this website and lots of books are available. I also read a book called "A field guide to earthlings - an autistic/asperger view of neurotypical behaviour" by Ian Ford, which explains how NT minds are different to autistic ones, and that helped me understand others as well as myself.

With regards to your job, I worked in a school as a special needs teaching assistant in my early thirties and I found it rewarding, but very challenging at times, and I understand how you feel. It's up to you whether to disclose your autism diagnosis, but although they have to consider reasonable adjustments, they could say that what you request isn't reasonable or possible to implement in your role.

Do you feel that you want to continue working in a school? Perhaps it might be a good idea to think about a career change to something that doesn't have such a potential for stress?

Bunni3smum. said:

I am also worried about how my adult son will react

Do you really need to tell him? After all, the diagnosis doesn't change who you are - you've always been you. But if you prefer to be open and honest, I would just state it as a fact and say that if he has any questions about it you'll be happy to answer them (or research it together if you don't have the answer) and then leave it at that and not mention it again unless he does. 

I hope that being part of the community helps you - please ask us any questions you may have.

Good afternoon from America and congratulations!

I was late diagnosed, though a little bit earlier than you at 30 years. Part of that was because my Autism was hidden behind an ADHD diagnosis. I had a hard time convincing family (ex. My wife) that I am Autistic, but one thing that helped was that one member of my family (my mother) agreed that it made sense. That helped my other family members to warm up to the idea that I am Autistic.

All that to say, your daughter could potentially be a great resource in helping your son understand your diagnosis?