55 years of not knowing.

This week, I have been diagnosed with Autism. My mind is all over the place at the moment, one minute okay and the next very emotional. I was always the quiet, shy one in the family who loved being alone playing with dolls and then later on, playing darts in the garage on my own. I have been bullied at school and in every job , one of which being in a school. I have been advised that I do have ADHD traits when I received my ASD diagnosis even though I'm still awaiting the assessment for ADHD.

Due to being threatened by HR and the headmaster in the school where I work, which entailed them trying to say that I was not capable of carrying out my job after being off with PTSD due to abuse at work by a parent! They were not at all understanding about PTSD and would not recognise that if this parent had been dealt with before when being abusive, this situation wouldn't have happened. I was the fourth member of staff to be verbally abused. Now I have ASD and potentially could have ADHD too, I am worried about telling them about the diagnosis and asking for reasonable adjustments. 

I am also worried about how my adult son will react as he only knows one person with severe autism but we present differently and I mask a lot. He has already commented in the past that ADHD is an excuse made for naughty boys, so I have no idea how to help him understand ASD and ADHD, even though I think he could also have ASD. Luckily, my daughter, who thinks she may have ADHD, is understanding and has researched the conditions so, although she found it weird to congratulate me for my diagnosis, she freely did because she hoped it would help me now to come to terms with why I am the way that I am.

How has any other late diagnosed people dealt with this and what has helped?

Parents
  • Good afternoon from America and congratulations!

    I was late diagnosed, though a little bit earlier than you at 30 years. Part of that was because my Autism was hidden behind an ADHD diagnosis. I had a hard time convincing family (ex. My wife) that I am Autistic, but one thing that helped was that one member of my family (my mother) agreed that it made sense. That helped my other family members to warm up to the idea that I am Autistic.

    All that to say, your daughter could potentially be a great resource in helping your son understand your diagnosis?

  • Good evening from the UK.

    Thank you, I'm guessing it gets easier to accept the diagnosis. As much as I had researched and repeated online tests prior to the assessment, I was still doubting that I had it. I guess, I felt like an imposter and kept thinking what if they can't tell me why I feel, think and act differently. I will be glad once I've had my ADHD assessment too as procrastination due to sensory overwhelm paralysis, I keep thinking they might just say it's laziness. 

    My daughter has agreed to be on a call with me when I talk to my son, I just wish that she didn't live in a different country so I would have that support locally. Unfortunately, I only have my grown up children in my family as I had to walk away from my mum and sisters years ago due to how they treated me.

    I'm glad that your family were able to warm up to the idea of your diagnosis, it must make a difference.  

    Thank you for taking the time to respond to my message.

Reply
  • Good evening from the UK.

    Thank you, I'm guessing it gets easier to accept the diagnosis. As much as I had researched and repeated online tests prior to the assessment, I was still doubting that I had it. I guess, I felt like an imposter and kept thinking what if they can't tell me why I feel, think and act differently. I will be glad once I've had my ADHD assessment too as procrastination due to sensory overwhelm paralysis, I keep thinking they might just say it's laziness. 

    My daughter has agreed to be on a call with me when I talk to my son, I just wish that she didn't live in a different country so I would have that support locally. Unfortunately, I only have my grown up children in my family as I had to walk away from my mum and sisters years ago due to how they treated me.

    I'm glad that your family were able to warm up to the idea of your diagnosis, it must make a difference.  

    Thank you for taking the time to respond to my message.

Children
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